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AIBU?

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Original poster

Private school Parties

181 replies

7plusMum34 · 18/02/2022 21:41

Those of you who have kids in private schools please tell me the kind of parties you have been to. I’m really nervous as I will have to hold a party very early on as child starting private in September and her birthday is 2 weeks in! I have nothing to compare with as we’ve not done a party for her before and haven’t been to any either I think due to COVID mainly.

I want to have a party btw do I don’t feel in any way pressured but I don’t know what the norm is. Don’t want to go OTT and don’t want it looking embarrassing either. Please help!

OP posts:
Zuma76 · 18/02/2022 23:19

I would also say think again with trying to invite 35 children from both the new and old school they will not mix and early in the term your DD is likely to gravitate to the children she knows from previous school, which means she won’t get a chance to just hang around with new friends. We’ve had beach picnic and party in the garden. By far the best is away from your home for 2 hours so people go home when you want them to and you don’t need to clean up.

FantasticFebruary · 18/02/2022 23:20

Loads of parties been to/hosted. Several different private schools. Some very OTT, some very basic and everything in between. Just do what you think your child will enjoy!

eurochick · 18/02/2022 23:21

Don't invite old and new school kids together - she will be torn as to who to play with. Do new school party and have a couple of old school friends for lunch or a sleepover.

I have a daughter that age in a prep school. Big hits recently have been sleepovers, swimming party and animal handling.

MrPickles73 · 18/02/2022 23:22

It's a bit unhinged to worry 7 months in advance of a children's party?

SleepingStandingUp · 18/02/2022 23:22

Issue is my daughter will just say she wants it at home like her cousins have but it’s going to be extra stress on me hosting at home!
So does your daughter want all the class round her house for a party or does your daughter want a party at her house with her cousins and existing friends?

Abraxan · 18/02/2022 23:25

Dd went to an independent school from 4-16y. We have friends who have children in private schools and those with friends in state schools. I also work in a state primary school.

There was no discernible difference between the types of parties at all. I guess there were probably more whole class parties at DD's primary - but that was because the class size varied between 12-18 children, rather than 30.

But the same type of parties: soft play, hired hall with entertainer and/or party games, laser quest, climbing, dancing party, sports parties, etc.

Changeee15467 · 18/02/2022 23:28

This comes across as really snooty. State school parents wouldn’t have a view you’d want to hear then?

Avarua · 18/02/2022 23:28

@Bwix

They’re a bit like state school parties with nicer uniform, more heirarchy, some silly names for things and fewer children with SN.
Yah
Avarua · 18/02/2022 23:30

I have to say that it is seen as a little tacky to include a lot of plastic tat in party bags. Piece of cake, maybe a tube of smarties. Less is more with party bags.

MyHusbandTheIdiot · 18/02/2022 23:31

This is a new frontier for us to and it’s been really interesting - parties at home, in a hall and the ‘normal’ sort of activity party (trampoline, bowling, soft play etc..) are really well received and attended - but the second there’s a sniff of anything particularly flashy (bussing a coach load of kids to an expensive activity, for example) and a great swathe of the class are suddenly unavailable… You definitely don’t need to go OTT to impress.

Ilostit · 18/02/2022 23:36

Trampolining - as her main party and a separate party for her other friends
Don’t mix it up

avamiah · 18/02/2022 23:40

@User112

Hmm private school parties! 😱

Book the whole class to a trip to Disney land Paris on a private jet.

That’s bare minimum ! Don’t forget some really nice return gifts.

Hahaha I’m laughing out loud so thank you as I’ve been stuck in all day with the horrendous weather here in London. x
MissM2912 · 18/02/2022 23:41

I tended to hire a hall, loads of food- including cake and tea/ coffee for parents, and then an entertainer of some sort. Have had frozen characters, Peppa pig, Father Christmas etc.
Also had sports parties at David Lloyd. Generally cosy £500 ish but did joint mostly with another child.

saraclara · 18/02/2022 23:42

To be honest, I think parties for a large number of kids are a bit crap for the birthday child. In my experience, they become invisible. Especially if it's a part at an activity place. The visiting kids just treat it like any other trip to the soft play/trampoline park/whatever, and totally ignore the birthday child.

If you want your DC to feel a bit special at this first party that she has, then keep the numbers right down, and don't have it at a commercial activity place.
Maybe this is why she wants a party at home. She wants her birthday to be the thing, not just an activity that kids she barely knows comme to and ignore her. And that's even more likely to be the case when a whole bunch of those guests barely know her.

I'd invite her best friends and her cousins to your house, get an entertainer, and get the sandwiches and cakes as platters from M&S if you don't want the hassle. And a really nice cake and games with fun prizes.

SaltySocks · 18/02/2022 23:45

DD is in year one and all the parties have been whole year group parties (about 25 kids) in either a community / church hall with an entertainer or at a soft play centre.

Lia198 · 18/02/2022 23:52

My daughter is about to turn 8 and it hasn’t been whole class parties for a while. Not private school though! Recently she’s been to trampolining, climbing, bowling and a sleepover party. She had a princess party for her 5th and would find that too “young” now.

Beseen22 · 18/02/2022 23:53

Not private but from school with small class size age 5 party. We had softplay and it was about £10 a head for softplay and a meal and entertainment including a mascot. We toyed with bowling but they don't really have the dexterity for that. Have been to a village hall party with both classes plus other friends invited. Was great for getting parents chatting but I think it must have been much more expensive than soft play because they had a vast amount of food, professional cake, hall hire and cleaning, an entertainer, face painter and ballon artist. Also the second part of the party was the face painting and balloons so I'm reality with that amount of kids they all spent about 45 minutes queuing and not everyone got to get seen by the end of the party.

Have a think about the Princess party, my DS found the mascots totally cringe and silly at his party but thankfully it was only 10 minutes. My niece was at a Princess party and she is 6 and sadly she's got to that age where she found it totally embarrassing and cringe even though she loves frozen.

Rizzoli123 · 18/02/2022 23:58

When he was 5 we hired a hall and a company called DNA kids. They did a disco and a magic show kids loved it.

For his 7th This year we are going sporty.

You don't have to do a party not all in the class do. Some take a cake into to the class to share and maybe little party bag. As they are really still getting know each other this maybe easier and look for somewhere next year.

You could even book local soft play and give yourself a chance meet parents.

Lalliella · 18/02/2022 23:59

Black tie do at the Ritz. Otherwise you’re plebs. How can you not know this? Do you have no breeding?

avamiah · 19/02/2022 00:03

@Lalliella

Black tie do at the Ritz. Otherwise you’re plebs. How can you not know this? Do you have no breeding?
I agree, but this is for their end of year leaving school Prom .😉
MrsHGWells · 19/02/2022 00:07

Op try not to overthink the party; choose an activity your DS will love first;
Our co-ed class has had ventured: dress up garden party; sports ( tennis, football, indoor swimming pool water course) gymnastics parties, laser tag, trampoline, dance disco karaoke, mobile animal, Magician, bowling, mini golf and movies with dinner out.

Party bags have been a book ( an age appropriate book - eg David Wailliams, treehouse series type series, or puzzles book, when small bubble wand, craft activity and cake.

Winterflower84 · 19/02/2022 00:12

Soft play when they were 3-4 yrs, then climbing club, trampoline club, pony riding, garden party with party entertainer.

ScrollingLeaves · 19/02/2022 00:19

Just do what suits her and her friends. It depends how old they are, what they like doing and how many there are.

It needn’t at all be a case of spending more money or being more lavish than seems right for you. It could even be cake at your home and some simple activities.

SeasonFinale · 19/02/2022 00:32

35 kids!!!! I would be stressed with that many.

fortunenookie · 19/02/2022 08:13

Hire a large hall and make sure it has space outdoors for a large gazebo.
Inside pay a firm to provide the following

  • 2 x favourite Disney characters
  • face painting
  • hair braiding
  • glitter tattoos
  • craft sessions comprising making princess crown and superhero masks
  • music and dancing themed games including statues pass the parcel

Outside under gazebo - petting zoo with hygiene station.

Food at trestle tables

  • large pizzas sliced up
  • sausage rolls
  • fruit kebabs ( minus politically incorrect grapes)
  • large bowls of mixed up crisps

Do not waste time with sandwiches, Raisins and yoghurt tubes etc. all gets wasted.the food I’ve suggested will be hoovered up and adults can have some too 😊

  • hire and set up slushie bar. Ditch the tepid lukewarm sugar free squash
  • party bags to take home with a chocolate cupcake in, one nice little present no choking hazard toys in case of younger siblings

If you can ideally incorporate a seating area and drinks for adults ( one of those coffee pods machines, tea urn, tequila shots Grin etc. always goes down well )

Piñata to finish the whole thing.