Private school Parties

[7plusMum34]

Those of you who have kids in private schools please tell me the kind of parties you have been to. I’m really nervous as I will have to hold a party very early on as child starting private in September and her birthday is 2 weeks in! I have nothing to compare with as we’ve not done a party for her before and haven’t been to any either I think due to COVID mainly.

I want to have a party btw do I don’t feel in any way pressured but I don’t know what the norm is. Don’t want to go OTT and don’t want it looking embarrassing either. Please help!

COVID didn’t help either as no one wanted parties in her school. I know princess theme will be too old now won’t it?

Do what you can afford. Don’t be afraid to own it if money is tight or if you have no imagination. Most of the kids won’t care (a small number will be arseholes). None of the parents will care. Same as state school. I have a DC in each.

Honestly there is nothing special about "private school parties".

My daughter recently had a 12th birthday party at KB02 in North London. I really liked the venue, as they have free arcade games, photo booth, dance floor/disco ball music and soft play for adults/teens.

Before that she had:

1. a horse riding party (because that's her hobby);

2. a sleepover party at our place for all girls from her year group (small year group);

3. a bowling and arcade games party at Hollywood Bowl;

4. an ice skating ⛸ party at the local ice rink;

5. an arts and crafts party;

6. a trampoline/tumble party at Flip Out;

7. many soft play parties when she was younger.

She is currently invited to two birthdays: one to watch a movie at a cinema with food and another at her classmate's house.

Nothing extraordinary.

My DD went to a princess party once, where they had a 'princess 'entertainer. She was dressed up, did princess make-up they made wands and had a bit of a disco.

@7plusMum34

COVID didn’t help either as no one wanted parties in her school. I know princess theme will be too old now won’t it?

Ask your DC what party and what theme THEY want. Decide how much you want to spend. And take it from there.

The parties my son goes to usually has some form of entertainment (magician, disco or sports) or is held somewhere like one of those trampoline places, a climbing wall, Go Ape etc. Don't forget the party bags!

My son is at private school and I work with 16 other women whose children go to our local primary - and they actually end up spending more on their kid's parties than me snd my son's friends.

@XelaM that’s brilliant ideas thank you.

As you are going to be new to the school, I’d do a whole class party if you can. So, a hall with some form of entertainment (magician is good for this age), and a traditional party tea. Tea/coffee/cake for the parents. Decent party bags.

Then next year you can take a few friends to the cinema/ bowling/ice skating and Pizza Express.

@7plusMum34 for me I found the parties that were all organised for you the best ones. The church hall type ones are harder work as you need to decide what activities to do and when to have food etc. Play areas sometimes do private hire parties which I found were the easiest. My boys also did gymnastic and football parties too which were good.

What does your DD want to do? Is there something in particular she likes.

OP - if you feel anxious about hosting then I would go for something organised like a trampoline park where you don't need to be 'in charge' and just have to meet everyone on arrival, let the children run around and then be there with a cake after they've had some food.

Can you find out before September the likely class size etc. so you can work out how many you're likely to be inviting.

@Bellabelloo thank you! Oh god yes forgot about party bags! It’s fun planning it I suppose but as I’ve never hosted one before I feel stressed.

My 7 & 8 year old have had a climbing party (joint with another boy for the class of 20) and a sports party (playing cricket and messing about with sports in a big halll).

Ages 4-7 seemed to be hall parties plus entertainer. Some spent a fortune with cakes like you see off the telly. Some were much more pass the parcel, mess about with balloons and have a few stale sandwiches. A real variety.

Age 7+ seems to be more activity focused. There's a rush on swimming parties at y
The school pool. I think without Covid most people would have just gone 8-10 friends or small groups but because these guys have missed out on parties I think a lot of us have had whole class shebabgs.

Please please don't worry about it, if your child has a nice time then that's what matters. 70% of the parents won't Judge you or even think about it. 25% will think what a lovely party whatever it was and the 5% who judge you won't want to get to know anyway.

Have a great party

@HelloDulling

As you are going to be new to the school, I’d do a whole class party if you can. So, a hall with some form of entertainment (magician is good for this age), and a traditional party tea. Tea/coffee/cake for the parents. Decent party bags.

Then next year you can take a few friends to the cinema/ bowling/ice skating and Pizza Express.

Absolutely!

We’ve been at state and private schools and the birthday parties have been pretty much the same kind of thing held at local places - swimming, ski slope, horse riding, cinema, roller discos, mini golf. Or sleepovers.

I think I would try and invite the whole class if she’s new but would leave it a few weeks as 2 weeks isn’t that much notice, especially if they might live a distance from the school and have to factor in travel/plans they’ve already made.

Now mine are teens it is just as expensive to take 2 or 3 of their close friends out, by the time they've bought cinema tickets, bowling and dinner its the same price as a whole class party! I did love doing their parties when they were younger although until they were about 8 or 9 I always found they got quite overwhelmed with it all.

DS is in the 7/8 age bracket at a private school and the parties don’t seem any different to those his state school friends attends. This year he has had 3 parties with an entertainer in a hall, then climbing, soft play, laser quest, forest school/outdoor activities, trampoline park and Go Ape. So quite a range.

We've got a city farm near us that does birthday parties. It's good if your DC is into animals.

Thank you all so much! I feel less stressed now. Yes definitely agree I should stay away from hall type now as I will have to arrange everything. Trampolining sounds fun. Issue is my daughter will just say she wants it at home like her cousins have but it’s going to be extra stress on me hosting at home!

Thank you all. I’m getting baby to sleep now so I’ll come back in later to check for more ideas. Sorry I thought I’d already posted but not sure - they’ll be 7-8 year olds. Probably 20-22 in the class. Im planning on inviting everyone plus her 2 cousins and friends from current school so 35 kids in total.

Dcs only ever attended private schools so cannot compare with state.

My tip at that age is to centre it around an activity that your dcs want to do (e.g. massive soft play) that has an annex where you can have food catered and party bags and all you bring is the cake. Job done. My parties were probably rubbish

@7plusMum34

Those of you who have kids in private schools please tell me the kind of parties you have been to. I’m really nervous as I will have to hold a party very early on as child starting private in September and her birthday is 2 weeks in! I have nothing to compare with as we’ve not done a party for her before and haven’t been to any either I think due to COVID mainly.

I want to have a party btw do I don’t feel in any way pressured but I don’t know what the norm is. Don’t want to go OTT and don’t want it looking embarrassing either. Please help!

Are you going to be one of those mums who thinks that private school somehow breeds magically better kids out of well heeled families? In my experience having gone to one it does not - I was at school with a lot of girls who's parents were scrimping elsewhere to send them there, and the parties were indicative of that.

Recent parties from year 3 in private school include a science party, swimming party, local dry slope tobogganing, low key garden gathering for a few close friends, church hall with bouncy castle, low key park picnic, sleepover/movie night with a few friends.
In the past there have been the rare extravagant party that clearly cost a lot money but that's the exception.

20+ kids, bowling party probably most cost effective. Climbing or trampolining will be £££

Same I imagine and depends where you are (facility wise). We did, age depending: at home with entertainer, bowling, go carting, hired hall with activity person, make your own pizza party, soft play centre party, decorate a cupcake party, guided visit to wild animal rescue park and so on. My kids have been invited to: football party, dry ski run inflatable party (where they go down the run in huge inflated rings), horse riding, sumo wrestling party, movie snd a pizza party, blah blah. Some of their friends went to state, some private.
Most extravagant was a famous author's son who threw a fantastic Christmas birthday party with an ice cream cart, elves and an amazing grotto with real big trees and falling snow and Santa of course, games coordinator with amazing prizes and a band. All the parents were a bit shell shocked but no one felt the pressure to outdo it as it was so far snd away more extravagant than anything else.

Oh and by the way - I didn't care about that! I had a lot of fun with my friends. Kids don't think about how much you've spent on a party...

Erm, there are kids at private school who are enormously wealthy who have absolutely OTT parties but that is fun for your dcs to enjoy and nobody thinks to emulate them.