Private school Parties

[7plusMum34]

Those of you who have kids in private schools please tell me the kind of parties you have been to. I’m really nervous as I will have to hold a party very early on as child starting private in September and her birthday is 2 weeks in! I have nothing to compare with as we’ve not done a party for her before and haven’t been to any either I think due to COVID mainly.

I want to have a party btw do I don’t feel in any way pressured but I don’t know what the norm is. Don’t want to go OTT and don’t want it looking embarrassing either. Please help!

At that age I would take them bowling.

My oldest is only 7, so far we've had -

• soft play (pre prep age)
• garden parties with bouncy castle
• entertainers dressed at Elsa and Anna hosting at home
• princess/superhero parties at a village hall
• horse riding/horse care
• trampolining (really good for when covid limited numbers)
• ice cream parlour
• baking with a professional
• pamper party
• outdoor adventure course

For 35 I'd do a village hall and get an entertainer in. We used a national company a few years ago and they were amazing. All we had to do was lay the food out.

@BloomingTrees

You can't go wrong with pass the parcel, musical chairs, balloons, chocolate cake with candles and party bags at the end.

Anyone who judges you for your child's party is not worth knowing.

This. My DC have been right the way through the independent system from 4+ and parties were mostly as above, either at home or in a local church hall. Children want to run around, make a noise, play silly/fun games and eat crap at that age. If they get to dress up as well, so much the better. A few that my DC went to/that we held were vaguely 'themed' (pirates, princesses - whatever they were into at that point). When they got a bit older, we used to take a picnic to a park, with cricket/footballs/rounders bats etc (all summer birthdays) for the girls and boys alike. Friends with children at state schools did the same sorts of things - sometimes soft play or swimming parties or some kind of crafty activity if they had winter birthdays. 11+ tended to be more along the lines of a sleepover for 2-3 friends with a DVD and Dominos.

@justasmalltownmum

At that age I would take them bowling.

35 of them??

Why not split it? Have a party at home, like she has suggested for cousins and friends from old school.
Then an activity type party with new school friends. At 8 the kids may stick with who they know rather than mixing at a large party. Being early in the term she might stick with friends from her old school, as they are familiar, rather than mixing with new school friends. You may want a huge party as she hasn’t had one yet but kids are funny at that age and lots of people can overwhelm them. Depends on your child, only you can anticipate how they will react.

With up to 35 you’re prob looking at soft play/trampolining/swimming party (swimming would be the most economical for this number in our area). With this size definitely do an activity party - and ideally just order in takeaway pizza for the tea, followed by cake - loved by all with minimal hassle!!

Something like swimming may have quite a small upper number - especially as not all 7-8yos are safe swimmers. And chaos in the changing rooms...

It's a large number, I'd have thought a hall with an entertainer would be best.

Some of my children had a few years in prep school and if there were any lavish OTT parties I don't remember them. The children quite happily went to several parties each year in the same sports centres, farm parks and indoor climbing walls. The things I learned were that a few parents will hang around during the party and it's nice to be able to offer them a drink and some grown up finger food, at least one child will always have a nosebleed and it won't be a child whose parent has stayed, and it's possible to drop the (lovingly home made) birthday cake icing side down on the straw-covered floor of a barn and not die of embarrassment.

My child - we rented a cinema for the class and had cake and a film afternoon.

My DS is Year 7, but has friends from Year 4 to 8. So far he's been to a "Go Ape" activity and then back to the host's house for party games and party tea. The second one was at a local karting venue where they did laser-tag and had hot dog and chips in the cafe. The third one will be at We The Curious which is a lovely Sciencey/interactive museum and planetarium. Then to the kid-friendly pub next door for food. Finally there will be a " learning to fish" morning with Dominoes after in the clubhouse.

Hope that helps

We moved from state to private and I was amused that the private school parties are exactly the same, except that they have fewer guests and they’re often a little stingier with the party bags 🤣 and think they’re being incredibly generous.

So the usual forest school party, or hall party with an entertainer, or Clipnclimb party, or leisure centre with football trainer, etc.

I have dc in private and in state, parties are generally the same.. soft play or football parties. The richest family in my dc private school class had a low key homemade sandwiches and nerf gun birthday at home and no party bags! Do whatever you want to do, no one will judge and it will be completely fine.

The only thing that might be different with a private school party is geography. They tend to attract a wider catchment. So just bear that in mind for your venue and time scale. As it's so early in the term and you don't know where everyone lives, easiest to choose a venue near the school (because you know everyone can get to it) -or if school is in the sticks, then choose the nearest city (because then people have something to do while they wait. Or can do their chores). No point in choosing Muddlington village hall for e.g. if you're the only family who live in Muddlington. (Whereas it is more likely at a state primary that there will be several families who live near you in Muddlington.)

Exactly the same as when they were at state school

Think at that age ds had 12 friends at laser tag in the evening at the local soft play, they give exclusive use for evening parties, and cake. No party landfill bags or food needed.

You can't go wrong with pass the parcel, musical chairs, balloons, chocolate cake with candles and party bags at the end.

I would say that this is (sadly) the only type of party mentioned that my DS now in year 6 at prep school has never been to.

My kids went to a private primary school and at age 7-8 had a party with about ten kids in my back garden (small, plastic grass) in which they eat tons of shite and then played traditional Type games. The kids seemed to love it. Other parents had a few pizza express parties whixh seems very boring

35 children, you're quite mad 🙊

Will the different groups get along private, state, family??

Does your child want 35 friends?

Same as the ones in state schools. At play centres and church halls etc. The only posh one paid for everyone's coffees at the playcentre. Otherwise they were just as normal.

I would definitely not do bowling for a party with a large number of kids of age 7-8.
At that age, they will need help selecting and heaving the heavy bowling balls into position, they have long waits between turns so they get bored and start getting lively. If there's (say) max 7 to a lane the party will be split between 4 or 5 lanes which you can't possibly host effectively as they are so far apart. Some parents will drop and go so you'll be in charge of more than your own kid. Even if parents stay, they are likely to get a coffee and be chatting in the background as there isn't the room for all the parents to be present and helping out. Bowling parties take a deceptively lot of effort to host.

Trampolining is better as you don't have to supervise directly. Or soft play is still good at that age, but pick a good one. It won't be cheap though for a high number.

Top tip for a good party is to make sure you welcome the kids on arrival. So many parents don't do this, they forget to welcome the kids because they are busy welcoming the parent, and the arriving kids can feel lost and unconnected to the party. I like to either welcome them by name or if you don't know, ask their name, thank them for bringing a gift (kids are often holding the gift), show them where to put their shoes, try and point out where the rest of the kids are if they are scattered around the play area, tell them there's juice/water when they want it and make sure you are ready to hand out juice. Some kids are shy and don't like to ask. I like to make every kid feel welcomed and important. And don't forget to smile at the kids! Unfamiliar parents of classmates can be a bit scary to some kids.

Don't delay on party bags. At the end of the party it's bad when the party's over and people just want to get going, but the party mum or dad is gaily chatting and has totally forgotten about giving out the bags and it feels rude to ask. Prepare all the party bags beforehand and take them ready to go in big bag (like a bag for life or two). Don't forget a cake and candles, and if you remember, a lighter because lots of places that do organised parties cannot ever find the lighter for the candles, or it doesn't work!

For 35 I'd either do one of the bigger soft play type places (ie not the small cafe ones) or a hall/ entertainer type party.

Or, I'd do an at home party for old friends and family as they will know each other, and a soft play/ run around like loons party for the new school friends who don't know each other as well.

My DC have been to parties for friends in state and private schools and there has been very little difference - parents tend to use the same venues/ activities.

You will need adults present for 35 children for safety reasons some parents drop and run so sort this out

The funnest party I've ever organised just involved the usual party games (pass parcel, musical statues) but we'd taken the risk of having it outdoors and the weather was great, plus there were safe trees to climb. And there was nice apple pie.

DS still talks about a party that involved a hired bouncy castle.

And: avoid piñatas. Danger of injury from children crowding round the one wielding the stick, and kids tend to get really grabby. Someone always ends up empty handed.

Oh yeah, don't have 35. It will be chaotic and stressful. Invite her cousins, a few good old friends, maybe couple of new (or not even those). That's the beauty of a birthday early in term at a new school - you don't need to reciprocate anything. Save the 35 invites for the year after (except you won't need to because she won't want to invite that many).

Ask her teacher if anyone in the class has a child with a birthday the same week. Phone the mother up and a) suggest a joint party, so as not to clash or b) just make sure they don’t clash.

My best party ever, was a football training party for the whole class - miraculously, every boy won an award 🥳. This was a joint party with another boy who had a birthday the same day.

Domino’s pizza was delivered to the venue, then more sweets and sugar. Followed by a football tied to a balloon to go home.

[quote 7plusMum34]@Bellabelloo thank you! Oh god yes forgot about party bags! It’s fun planning it I suppose but as I’ve never hosted one before I feel stressed.[/quote]
Buy extra large party bags!!! Getting the ponies in them is such a trial!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

7 yo. - Eldest had a horse riding party. Brilliant. Handed them over, horse riding place sorted them, played games on the ponies (teenaged girls sorted some grooming etc, supervised girls washing their hands, snacks & brought them into the reception room for cake, party bags & handing back to parents. (They were great with the one who did not want to ride, not even their softest, slowest, smallest pony! They let her start the games, hand out horse treats, help to judge etc)

Did actually put ponies into party bags! But schleich!!