Would this upset you or is it fair enough?

[Fezzco]

Been with dh 7 years and have one toddler together. We had some difficulties last year and nearly split, think lockdown was a bit of a pressure cooker and it was a result of a hard few years. We kept it very private and ended up working through it. I only confided at the time in a few friends.

One friend I confided in at the time I've grown more distant from in the last year, I've tried to meet up but we never seem to be free at the same time and we haven't seen each other, messages fizzled down to not many or not often. She didn't reply to my last message a few months ago, not an issue but it means when we found out I was pregnant (totally unplanned) she wasn't high on my list to tell

I posted a picture today just of toddler wearing a big brother jumper indicating that baby number is on the way. She messaged me basically straight away saying "Seriously? How have we gone from a crumbling relationship to a pregnancy announcement? It's not going to make anything better."

I spoke to her about our issues when we met up during that time period, it was April last year. I'm a little upset for her to taint what should be happy news by bringing it all back up and acting like I'm having some band aid baby? AIBU to be upset or do I need to take it on the chin given that she knows we nearly broke up? It just kind of changed the tone of the news a bit, I don't know.

First of all congratulations on your pregnancy ❤️

And I would ignore her she sounds pissed of you didn’t tell her before your announcement.

She’s rude and there’s no need for it at all, i wouldn’t even think that let alone saying it and anyone that would is so judgemental and quite nasty, no one knows how the last year has been for your relationship and especially her knowing your struggles to get pregnant before, it’s awful. You’ve explained how things went wrong and people still with shitty comments here. Relationships have issues now and then, so does that mean have one rough patch then never have another kid?

People are so weird.

Tell her when she’s been in a serious relationship and knows how to work through it then her comments will mean more but having a bitchy comment on things she has nothing to do with for over a year is none of her business.

Surprised she didn’t comment on any Xmas pics saying playing happy families when you was rowing in April.

And you don’t need to keep things private when you have relationships issues, friends (good) friends don’t hold things over you forever to have a dig and make you feel like shit. Since when was it anyones business what goes on in a marriage just cos you’ve vented to them so they can rule your life forever!? No.

Sorry to hear this but a true friend wouldn't treat you like this. Dont dwell on it. Better off without.

I'd have thought it to be fair but I wouldn't have said it.

Congratulations! Your friend is being a bitch.

Even if she thought that, it was rude & unkind to say it. What was she expecting you to say - ‘Gosh, you’re right, I’m off to book a termination.’ ?

I'd likely think it, but like others never have said it. We are all aware a baby doesn't always make a rocky relationship better but I'm happy you've worked through it and are planning a future together. Covid was a pressure cooker for almost everyone you were not alone.

Fezzco.
How very unkind of her ! Just banish her from your life. Some people would only say such a thing because their life is miserable and she wants you to feel the same. Take careful notice not to divulge any private details to anyone other than those you deeply trust and remember an old saying 'a still tongue is a wise head'.
Every couple will go through a rough patch for a variety of reasons and you've got through it. You do not need to have any contact with this so-called unkind friend.
I'm delighted for you with having a baby.

Can’t help wondering if she knows your husband and has been ‘comforting him’…hence pulling back from you and now been stunned by the news!

Congratulations first of all! :-) That's so exciting! Secondly your friend was really rude and what she said shows how negative she is - who needs that energy bringing you down on the best days of your life?! Thirdly couples have ups and downs all the blooming time especially when they have young children. I feel like a lot of readers on here and your friend are really clueless and naive if they think otherwise and see it as unwise to have had another child. What a blessing!

Just wanting some support as feeling very stressed. Separated from controlling ex last year after years of miserable life. Had to move out to rental as life was really hard. He is a huge earner and is now trying to make me suffer by refusing a decent enough settlement to allow me to buy a home for my children and myself. After years of staying at home to bring up children , I have managed to get a full time job earning about £35k and I work really hard.
He has raised questions from my Form E and bank statements picking at my lifestyle choices ( not unreasonable).
. Has anyone else had experience of this, how did they get through this really difficult part and did it have a positive outcome.?
I am so frightened and worried and kids being poisoned daily with lies about me.
I have thought daily about leaving the area to start again as this is all becoming too hard.

I think that had I not been kept up to date on how your relationship was going I might thinking something similar. The last she knew you were possibly breaking up and now you're expecting, HOWEVER I would not have said it, bit as a pp said I might have checked you were OK.

I'm not sure if you've responded but if uou wanted yo I think I'd say something along the lines if
'so glad we could work on the crap that covid situation caused in our relationship and we've made it out the other side'.

You ofcourse do not have to explain your actions at all!

People can go through horrendous situations which can cause relationship difficulties but it doesn't mean you will therefore split up. I think the tone of what was said sounds really bitter and wonder if her break up is affecting her thoughts.