Annoyed with my OH who never bothers testing DSC

[ShiroMiso]

A few months after I'd just got out of hospital with my baby we were exposed to covid because OH nor his ex bothered to test DSC after DSC1 was identified as a close contact. DSC1 was eventually tested at my behest and was positive but luckily we managed to evade getting it. The other DSC remained negative too.

I was quite cross with OH and his ex about it, understandably I think, but all was fine in the end.

I told OH from then onwards if any of DSC had covid symptoms or are identified as a close contact he must test them before they come in. He agreed. I said I would be adopting the same rule with our DC, so if ours had any covid symptoms or were a close contact I would test them before exposing DSC as it's only fair.

Fast forward to now DSC have just arrived and 2 of the 3 have a hacking cough, the only one who isn't ill is the one who tested positive for covid at the end of last year.

The first I know about it is when they come in and within 5 minutes one is coughing and says he's been "seriously" unwell since Monday.

OH claims it's the first he's heard about it

Now I know many people aren't bothered about covid anymore and the rules are set to change etc but it's something that still bothers me as I am vulnerable and the vaccines don't offer complete protection.

We don't have any tests left over so will now need to get some for my peace of mind.

AIBU to be upset with OH?

@Bizawit

YABU . Children get cold symptoms all the time. It’s a massive imposition to ask them to test every time they have common cold symptoms (indefinitely, no less) just to be able to spend time with their dad in his home. You 3 month old baby is not at risk. Neither are you if you have been triple vaccinated.

In the very first post the OP mentioned that she is vulnerable and the vaccines don't offer her complete protection. She is herself more at risk than those of us who aren't in that situation. She's entitled to take whatever precautions she feels are necessary.

@ScarlettSunset unless OP is extremely old and frail she is highly unlikely to be vulnerable after 3 vaccinations. More likely she has ongoing anxiety that (whilst understandable given the fear that has been stoked over the last 2 years) is disproportionate to the actual risk as it stands.
Of course OP is entitled to take any precautions she feels necessary - no one says otherwise. The question was- was she BU to insist her DSC are swabbed every time they have what are very common viral symptoms in order to be allowed contact with their dad at his place of residence.

[quote Bizawit]@ScarlettSunset unless OP is extremely old and frail she is highly unlikely to be vulnerable after 3 vaccinations. More likely she has ongoing anxiety that (whilst understandable given the fear that has been stoked over the last 2 years) is disproportionate to the actual risk as it stands.
Of course OP is entitled to take any precautions she feels necessary - no one says otherwise. The question was- was she BU to insist her DSC are swabbed every time they have what are very common viral symptoms in order to be allowed contact with their dad at his place of residence.[/quote]
It's not just old or frail people who can still be vulnerable after 3 vaccinations. People who are immunosuppressed for example can be of any age.

@HeckyPeck that is extremely rare if you look at the data.

The OP has also mentioned several times that she’s lost a loved one to Covid, despite them being triple jabbed, which no one has picked up on. It’s hardly surprising that she’s worried about the virus!

It might well be rare, but it’s something that she’s seen happen. And being vulnerable herself, it’s understandable that she’s anxious about it. (She didn’t say whether the loved one died of Omicron or Delta, which was more virulent.)

My daughter's friend , a teacher, fit young woman late 20's, no underlying health conditions, triple vaxxed, currently very unwell with covid. Why would the OP want to take an unnecessary risk when she has a young baby to look after and a useless partner?

@ShiroMiso gosh some for you

I still can’t believe that even after your last post on this thread, people are still telling you that you are unreasonable!

You are CEV, have a young baby and just wanted the other adults in the DSC lives to have a little more common sense!

You will cope fine on your own and l predict that in two weeks he’ll come begging for a second chance.

I feel sorry for the DSC and hope that SS will keep them safe.

@HarrietPierce7

My daughter's friend , a teacher, fit young woman late 20's, no underlying health conditions, triple vaxxed, currently very unwell with covid. Why would the OP want to take an unnecessary risk when she has a young baby to look after and a useless partner?

Define “very unwell”..

"Define “very unwell”.."

In hospital on CPAP.

@HarrietPierce7

"Define “very unwell”.."

In hospital on CPAP.

Wow that is pretty shocking

@ShiroMiso

They've just been getting ready to go home (only came for their tea and a few hours) and OH was like "let's all say bye then, DSC give DD a hug"

This is how fucking stupid he is. DSC is ill with what could possibly be covid, has been coughing for the duration and actively feels like shit, and OH is telling him to give our DC a hug.

I can't believe some of these posts on here, its like the next line will be.. you married a man with children and if so you should suck it up vulnerable in regards to covid or not, because if you catch it and die its just the risk you take as a stepmother

I know right? It's crazy making, pure gaslighting and wouldn't be acceptable in any other situation.

I share some level of agreement with you that they should have told you in advance as a courtesy etc. BUT god you are coming across so whiny & me me me in every post!

@Aposterhasnoname

I currently have covid and am very ill. Not very very ill yet but very ill. Am triple vaxed.

Your point? I don’t mean to be unsympathetic, and I’m sorry you’re ill and all, but people get ill all the time, many times in their lives.

People have forgotten that nasty viruses that made us unwell have always existed

People have forgotten that nasty viruses that made us unwell have always existed

And it's always been common courtesy not to visit people (particularly vulnerable people) when you have a nasty virus.

@HeckyPeck

People have forgotten that nasty viruses that made us unwell have always existed

And it's always been common courtesy not to visit people (particularly vulnerable people) when you have a nasty virus.

Exactly.

People act like this is a Covid thing and never happened before.

My SC have NEVER been tossed between homes when they are unwell with a "nasty virus", yes even before Covid! What would be the point in making everyone ill?

obviously there would be exceptions to this i.e. one parent too ill to care for them but in general if they are poorly they stay with the parent they are with at that time.

Totally normal thing to do imo, for most people surely? Or does everyone else just crack on and see their family when they are really unwell?

Yes, that's exactly what is being said in this thread.

To be a 100 percent honest I think what people are writing here about is that many people are absolutely comfortable sending their sick children to other peoples houses and wouldn't have a second thought Covid or without Covid. Others just think sick children should get better first before visiting others. I have a friend with a very very relaxed attitude (never tested any of her kids for covid ever). A couple of months back she brought her really sick child along to another vulnerable friends house because she felt uncomfortable getting out of it last minute because that would be rude(the kid was pretty unwell , coughing all over, all red and tired) . As a result all children who were in the house got some severe RSV virus that put 3 of them in the hospital with bronchitis. Responsible parents leave their sick children at home. OP's husband doesn't sound like one of them. This pedophile story is absolutely scary. Clearly neither of the parents there are responsible so not testing for Covid doesn't even sound bad anymore

Admittedly my experience is only with babies and toddlers so far (eldest isn’t yet 3). But if it was the culture amongst the parents I know to keep their children away from family every time they had common viral symptoms, we’d all be permanently locked in our houses and never see any friends / family!