Page 12 | Annoyed with my OH who never bothers testing DSC

ShiroMiso · 2022-02-17T16:31:12+00:00

A few months after I'd just got out of hospital with my baby we were exposed to covid because OH nor his ex bothered to test DSC after DSC1 was identified as a close contact. DSC1 was eventually tested at my behest and was positive but luckily we managed to evade getting it. The other DSC remained negative too. I was quite cross with OH and his ex about it, understandably I think, but all was fine in the end. I told OH from then onwards if any of DSC had covid symptoms or are identified as a close contact he must test them before they come in. He agreed. I said I would be adopting the same rule with our DC, so if ours had any covid symptoms or were a close contact I would test them before exposing DSC as it's only fair. Fast forward to now DSC have just arrived and 2 of the 3 have a hacking cough, the only one who isn't ill is the one who tested positive for covid at the end of last year. The first I know about it is when they come in and within 5 minutes one is coughing and says he's been "seriously" unwell since Monday. OH claims it's the first he's heard about it [hmm] Now I know many people aren't bothered about covid anymore and the rules are set to change etc but it's something that still bothers me as I am vulnerable and the vaccines don't offer complete protection. We don't have any tests left over so will now need to get some for my peace of mind. AIBU to be upset with OH?

user1471447863 · 19/02/2022 20:49

@SpongebobsPants exactly. And it's not just not spreading Covid, other nasty bugs too.

use257 · 19/02/2022 20:51

Yabu leave the kids alone and let them get on with their life without having to take your anxieties onto their own shoulders

mummykel16 · 19/02/2022 20:52

Come two weeks none of the testing and isolating is necessary! Normal service will resume! Thank god!

Been banned has it?

mummykel16 · 19/02/2022 20:53

@use257

Yabu leave the kids alone and let them get on with their life without having to take your anxieties onto their own shoulders

That's what op wanted.

mummykel16 · 19/02/2022 20:55

People can have whatever rules they want in their own home.

Like, if you're choking and coughing don't come a knocking

hellithurt · 19/02/2022 20:56

@mummykel16

Come two weeks none of the testing and isolating is necessary! Normal service will resume! Thank god!

Been banned has it?

Nope not banned but LFTs will be charged for! I suspect r the serial testers may calm down once their stockpile of free tests are depleted!

Original poster

ShiroMiso · 19/02/2022 22:41

@use257

Yabu leave the kids alone and let them get on with their life without having to take your anxieties onto their own shoulders

What are you on about with "leave the kids alone"

You've obviously misread or deliberately misunderstood what I was saying. I'm not hounding the kids. I'm asking their father, an adult, to ensure he tests them to avoid his blase attitude and his covid denying ex putting me and baby at risk. Again.

Nope not banned but LFTs will be charged for! I suspect r the serial testers may calm down once their stockpile of free tests are depleted!

What constitutes a serial tester then? Do you mean people who test / test children when they have symptoms? If not then that doesn't apply here. I've only ever tested when nessecary. FWIW I'm happy to pay for the tests. No problem.

People can have whatever rules they want in their own home. Like, if you're choking and coughing don't come a knocking

I'm going to have that put on a plaque

OP posts:

Bizawit · 19/02/2022 22:42

YABU . Children get cold symptoms all the time. It’s a massive imposition to ask them to test every time they have common cold symptoms (indefinitely, no less) just to be able to spend time with their dad in his home. You 3 month old baby is not at risk. Neither are you if you have been triple vaccinated.

Original poster

ShiroMiso · 19/02/2022 22:43

Come two weeks none of the testing and isolating is necessary! Normal service will resume! Thank god!

Not nessecary by law, but still very nessecary when it comes to my home.

OP posts:

Original poster

ShiroMiso · 19/02/2022 22:47

@Bizawit

YABU . Children get cold symptoms all the time. It’s a massive imposition to ask them to test every time they have common cold symptoms (indefinitely, no less) just to be able to spend time with their dad in his home. You 3 month old baby is not at risk. Neither are you if you have been triple vaccinated.

Did you see the post from a PP a few pages back who gave her account of how her baby was very ill with covid?

What about the other poster who was worried about her baby being dehydrated due to not taking feeds?

DSC can see their dad anywhere. I'm not risking my small babies health just to make his life easier.

Before this thread I was prepared to bend over backwards (aka leave my house with my kids) so he could see them here, regardless of illness and regardless of the constant disrespect.

I won't be doing that now. All my good will has been spent.

My home. My kids health takes priority over their convenience.

OP posts:

Bizawit · 19/02/2022 22:56

@ShiroMiso the data on babies and Covid is very clear (regardless on anecdotal stories from anonymous posters on mumsnet) - Your 3 month old baby is no more at risk from Covid than from a common cold, so unless you intend to isolate your baby at your mums anytime your DSC have symptoms you are being irrational. And if you do intend to isolate your baby any time your SC have symptoms then there is no need for them to test anyway.

Original poster

ShiroMiso · 19/02/2022 23:00

[quote Bizawit]@ShiroMiso the data on babies and Covid is very clear (regardless on anecdotal stories from anonymous posters on mumsnet) - Your 3 month old baby is no more at risk from Covid than from a common cold, so unless you intend to isolate your baby at your mums anytime your DSC have symptoms you are being irrational. And if you do intend to isolate your baby any time your SC have symptoms then there is no need for them to test anyway.[/quote]
I was fully prepared to take my kids to my mums whenever the situation arose, I'm not now.

I couldn't care less whether he tests them or not, moving forward, because it's not my problem anymore.

OP posts:

hellithurt · 19/02/2022 23:01

@ShiroMiso

Come two weeks none of the testing and isolating is necessary! Normal service will resume! Thank god!

Not nessecary by law, but still very nessecary when it comes to my home.

Somehow I feel even if covid never existed you'd find another reason to detest your OH?

Covid isn't and never was your issue!

Bringsexyback · 19/02/2022 23:05

For the first year of your babies life you’ve got a pass to be an unreasonable cow if the mood takes you. Its hormones. Beyond that if you want to Carry on living with the father of your children you’re definitely gonna need to reign it in

AskingforaBaskin · 19/02/2022 23:21

@Bizawit

YABU . Children get cold symptoms all the time. It’s a massive imposition to ask them to test every time they have common cold symptoms (indefinitely, no less) just to be able to spend time with their dad in his home. You 3 month old baby is not at risk. Neither are you if you have been triple vaccinated.

Her home. It's just hers. Not their dads and not theirs.

Original poster

ShiroMiso · 19/02/2022 23:25

Somehow I feel even if covid never existed you'd find another reason to detest your OH?

I never needed to find a reason, he gave me plenty. Cheating on me throughout a cancer scare. Throughout pregnancy. The endless lying to me and about me. The 4k of debt he racked up which become my problem. His shitty ex.

I stuck by that man so my kids had a present father whilst baby is so small because I knew he wouldn't bother his arse once I kicked him out permanently and I'd get no help.

I also kept him around so I could make sure DSC were safe because his conspiracy theory ex was taking them to stay over at a convicted paedophiles house all throughout Christmas time after that same paedophile was arrested for having indecent images of DSS1 and OH did absolutely sod all about it.

I've just gone through the rigamole of reporting it to social services and liaising with them to make sure DSC were safe. OH knew what she was doing and did nothing.

We were as good as over before that cropped up and he was spending alot of time at his dad's.

I had him here at my inconvenience (or convenience depending on which way you look at it) so I was still in the loop, so to speak.

But no I'm a nasty person who has a problem with his kids. Strange that I was the only one who actually cared about them being safe isn't it?

As I said previously and as you can see here, there's a loooooong backstory and history of shit upon shit. I'm not this intolerant of him for nothing.

I've done my bit anyway it's no longer my problem he knows he has two weeks to find somewhere else to live.

His kids aren't the problem. He is.

OP posts:

AskingforaBaskin · 19/02/2022 23:27

@Bringsexyback

For the first year of your babies life you’ve got a pass to be an unreasonable cow if the mood takes you. Its hormones. Beyond that if you want to Carry on living with the father of your children you’re definitely gonna need to reign it in

You haven't read the updates have you? He's going to have to find a new place for him, his kids and their Germs in the immediate future.

OP can do whatever she wants in her home.

Bringsexyback · 19/02/2022 23:28

@ShiroMiso …. Well that’s has to be the best drip feed I’ve ever seen in Mumsnet in nearly 21 years

Original poster

ShiroMiso · 19/02/2022 23:31

[quote Bringsexyback]@ShiroMiso …. Well that’s has to be the best drip feed I’ve ever seen in Mumsnet in nearly 21 years[/quote]
Sorry, I know.

I didn't want to get into the back story as i wanted advice on the case in point and didn't want the history to colour people's view.

That has been discussed and resolved now so I have no problem saying exactly why I'm at the stage I'm at.

OP posts:

whataballbag · 19/02/2022 23:36

I don't think YABU. If they've a hacking cough they should have isolated wherever they were when it started and had a test.

How do people not understand this 2 years in?

mummykel16 · 19/02/2022 23:41

@whataballbag

I don't think YABU. If they've a hacking cough they should have isolated wherever they were when it started and had a test.

How do people not understand this 2 years in?

WWW syndrome, it applies to stepmothers who dare to say no.

Bizawit · 19/02/2022 23:59