To think ut makes sense for the parent leaving the house for work to do the nursery run?

[Tartankilts]

Goes past the nursery so this makes sense, but is it unfair always to be one person?

It depends really, there are lots of factors. Generally I'd say YANBU but if other parent can take them without too much bother then that probably makes the life of the parent working out of the home a lot easier. At the moment, I'm on mat leave with 4 mo DS, and 3.5 yo is in nursery 2 days a week, DH works 5 days a week, 1 day being at home. On nursery day 1, he drives DD to nursery, drops her, then drives to work. On nursery day 2, it's his WFH day, so him and DD walk to nursery together for drop off. I sometimes do collection with DS in the pram or sling depending on what we are up to, but otherwise he does collections too - nursery day 1 he drives from work to nursery, picks her up and drives her home, nursery day 2 he walks to nursery and picks her up and they walk home together, sometimes with DS in the pram or carrier too. It would be very stressful and difficult for me to drop-offs atm whilst on mat leave. Prior to DS birth however, I WFH so I did all the drop-offs, me and DD would walk together, as this was much easier than DH doing them. So I think it's just about balance and consideration and deciding what is the least difficult/stressful option for each other really.

I do it on my way to work. I do have to go back on myself to get to work after which is annoying. My 10 min commute I now have to allow 45 mins. It would be quicker for DH to do it who WFH actually but we share a car at the moment so it's the only choice! Unless I get the bus which I don't want to do.

Depends on a whole lot of things, but mostly it depends on what discussion has happened and what the agreement is.

He seems to want to split the chore, is there a problem with you doing it twice a week?

I think it should be shared! I used to do it all the time. Young children can be tiring and rushing around in the morning is hard before you go to work! Sometimes I would get to nursery for 7.25am and I would be waiting in a queue until 7.40am! Then rushing to work! Stressful

@gigantaraffe

My dh gets dd fed and dressed while I get ready to go out to work. Then I drop her on the way to work.

This seems the best compromise.

@Tartankilts

Both start at similar times but it adds a good 15 mins to my journey.

Overslept a bit today. Asked DH to take DD. He agreed bur begrudgingly.

I hate that he was in a mood about it. That just shows how much of a chore it is. I know it's not easy, is there any chance of changing nurseries to one closer to your work?

Well I'm in same situation kind of,I work part time but don't start till 4,I do 4-10 4 days a week,I take kids to school everyday and pick them up at 3.15 which by time I get home is roughly btwn 3.30 and 3.40 then have to go straight back out to work,then I'm on my feet all night as work on a dementia unit,currently pregnant and just so tired out,my partner is not working he's on sick as he's got fibromyalgia so I dont know what to do as pisses me off so much but no he's hurting aswel,but I'm getting stressed as so much to do,then has the cheek to moan in a morning when I don't wash a few pots by time he's up at dinner time

@babyjellyfish

I would add that it only makes sense for the parent who works outside the home to always to the drop off if it isn't too far out of their way.

And if my husband was in a particular hurry I would of course take our son to the childminder even though it's not on my way.

Haha, spoken like someone who rarely drops off their child! Ever thought to think of how much time you save and enjoy verses your other half?

@Tartankilts

Both start at similar times but it adds a good 15 mins to my journey.

Overslept a bit today. Asked DH to take DD. He agreed bur begrudgingly.

Aha. It shouldn't be just your job. Unless you have a really rigid agreement where one of you drops off and the other picks up, nursery/school run should be a shared duty.

I WFH and my partner drives or cycles to the office - we still take turns with the drop-off, and one of the variables is whether DP is running late. I would never begrudge taking our kid to nursery. Similarly the pickup is done by whoever it suits better, we accommodate one another.

It depends on timings, when we’re both back at work my husband will have to do the nursery run on his way to work, as despite working from home if I dropped our daughter I wouldn’t get home in time to start work.

I think he’s taking the piss to not be doing any of the drop-offs or pick-ups. You’ll always be stressing about getting to work in time or leaving with enough time to get back

I don’t think nursery drop/collections are quality time and you’ve had some harsh responses on that basis. School runs can be different if you can walk in as they give a chance to chat about the day. I have some good conversations with my older one but nursery runs have never been particularly enjoyable for me as it revolves strapping a wiggly toddler in the car, fighting through traffic, dealing with tantrums and general stress.

I don’t work far away, it’s just peak traffic that makes it difficult. Changing to a nursery nearer to my work wouldn’t make any difference at all.

Would leaving later give the traffic more time to clear?

Share it out op. Three days you do it, two days the next week etc

@Sirzy

Would leaving later give the traffic more time to clear?

Yes but I can’t. I need to be at work for 830 and even that’s quite late.

What have you decided to do, OP?

@Arabellla

What have you decided to do, OP?

?

@Arabellla

What have you decided to do, OP?

Read the OP's 2nd post

That's just for today though.

What happens tomorrow?

@Arabellla

That's just for today though.

What happens tomorrow?

What? Why?

Oh lord. I think I pity your DH now.

@Arabellla

Oh lord. I think I pity your DH now.

Weird response

Weird to not communicate with your husband.

Only read your posts. But let me clarify - both of you work in jobs that start at 8:30. You have to commute to work and he WFH. If you are doing nursery drop off, the commute goes from 15 minutes to 45? So you are adding 30 minutes to your commute and routine every single day while he is, I assume, rolling out of bed and generally chilling out until 8:29 when he logs on?

Unless those 45 minutes every day is when he does the washing/dishwasher/runs hoover round etc OR he gets up a bit early to get DC ready while yo have a lie in/get yourself ready or whatever, it seems to me he's got a lovely little arrangement here doesn't he?

@Arabellla

Oh lord. I think I pity your DH now.

Are you ok?