To think ut makes sense for the parent leaving the house for work to do the nursery run?

[Tartankilts]

Goes past the nursery so this makes sense, but is it unfair always to be one person?

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz he doesn't OP does

We both WFH but I start earlier so DH does the drop off and then starts work. I do the pick up because I have finished work earlier. I’m on maternity leave now, DH does the drop off still because I am feeding the baby.

@girlmom21

I drive to work. DH gets the train. Neither of us drive past the nursery - it's in the opposite direction - but I have to be on the road anyway and he walks to the station so it makes sense for me to take her. It's no great hardship. I enjoy it.

I enjoy it most days too but DH still needs to do his share. Why should he miss out.

It’s not about enjoying it or not. It’s about NOT enjoying hitting peak traffic and a 15 minute commute being three quarters of an hour!

Why can’t you share it’ll the load? Does he always do pick up? Do you?

@Tartankilts

It’s not about enjoying it or not. It’s about NOT enjoying hitting peak traffic and a 15 minute commute being three quarters of an hour!

Oh yes I totally get that sorry. I was trying to say it doesn't matter how enjoyable it is.

Depends on the overall sharing of the household management. Does he do all the little jobs that many get on with during WFH - washing, dishwasher, dealing with parcels etc or does he work and nothing else?

Who picks up DD?

But in any case, he shouldn't get annoyed about dropping her off as a one off, although I agree that it makes sense for you to do it, and you organise yourself accordingly, but he should be doing his fair share of everything else.

@Penvelopey mine tends to do pick ups (which are definitely nicer than drop offs) so there's a decent balance.

It would be a rush for me to get back before nursery closes and he gets back a couple of hours before so it makes sense

Random it’ll there. Sorry

@Tartankilts

It’s not about enjoying it or not. It’s about NOT enjoying hitting peak traffic and a 15 minute commute being three quarters of an hour!

Tell him that.

Who is "on call" to pick child up if they are ill? It's easier for my DH to do that so we agreed I'd do most the normal pick ups in exchange for him being on call during the working day

IME you need a proper fixed arrangement. Ours is:

Mondays - my NWD, no nursery
Tuesdays - DH drives DD to nursery and drops me at the station en route (he WFH that day)
Wednesdays - we’re both in town. I walk her to nursery then turn around, go back to the station. DH does pick up.
Thursdays - as Tuesdays
Fridays - DH walks to the station to start early so he can finish early. I drive DD to nursery and then WFH.

I mean, obviously if there’s a major drama (one of us is ill or whatever) then we’ll change plans but knowing the routine like the back of my hand means that we don’t argue about it, we just get on with it.

[quote girlmom21]@Penvelopey mine tends to do pick ups (which are definitely nicer than drop offs) so there's a decent balance.

It would be a rush for me to get back before nursery closes and he gets back a couple of hours before so it makes sense [/quote]
That sounds like a fair balance. I guess thats what it is about overall balance and impact on the working day

If it's a rush for you I think he should do it at least part of the week. Unless there is some reason like he's doing all the housework and preparing for dinner in the mornings. But even so I think it would be more reasonable to share the drop offs.
I'd prefer to drop off if I was him as it would be fresh air and a walk before wfh. Would wake me up.

I’m telling YOU that, @girlmom21, as you were the one who made the stupid ‘I enjoy it’ comment.

We’ve been lucky with illness and it has only happened once. They rang me but I couldn’t answer so they rang DH and he did it.

Assuming nursery is close to home then you should split it. This is setting you up for doing all of the nursery school run because he never leaves the house for work!!

@Tartankilts

I’m telling YOU that, *@girlmom21*, as you were the one who made the stupid ‘I enjoy it’ comment.

We’ve been lucky with illness and it has only happened once. They rang me but I couldn’t answer so they rang DH and he did it.

I didn't make a stupid comment. You just didn't like it. You wrote your OP like you believed it was fair you're doing the nursery run. People agree and you come back with a shitty attitude.

If you're not happy with the current system, tell your husband that it needs to change. Don't bottle it up then get angry with strangers on the internet who agree with your original sentiment.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Sorry your opening post makes it sound like he goes past the nursery

No it doesn’t

Who does collection? I’ve been working from home more and do more of the nursery/school rinds and collections. We’ll have an adjustment when I’m back more in the office.

If you’re rushing out the door to get the child to nursery, you could all have a much more leisurely start if he did some drop-offs. There’s no reason for you to do it all.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Sorry your opening post makes it sound like he goes past the nursery

It really doesn't. You've just assumed

Work this out before choosing a nursery! I drive past nursery so I do drop off. If I am at home DH does it if he is using car for the day, but if he isn't then I end up doing it. Before we agreed nursery's I thought he suggested he would do it more than he does in reality tbh but it is difficult with only 1 car that I need to take to work

I wfh and take DS to school and do pick up a (sometimes grandparents pick up). Once a week DH may take DS to school and go in late.

I think this is fair - it IS easier wfh

To be fair, I did type the OP one handed with a hairdryer, I can understand the confusion

@TheGoogleMum we did, or thought we did, but what you think you’ll do and what you actually do aren’t the same things.

This is part of 'the men and their big important jobs and the women with their little jobs fitting around the children', attitude. Unless it makes absolute sense for one parent to do it, it should be done by whoever can fit it in best and then shared whenever possible.

" it IS easier wfh"
Not if you have a start time that means you have to rush about, or the person commuting takes the car etc.

The rule in our house with school runs in our case (but it was the same with nursery at the time) is whoever it impacts the least. As others and you have said if it means you are rushing in worse traffic then no you don't do it.

To be fair as well on the days where I am tired dp would automatically pick it up. He shouldn't be doing it begrudgingly at all. If you've overslept , it means you are tired and surely he should be thinking that you need a hand (I'm sympathetic I'm coming off the back of solid 8 day training delivery back to back so I'm tired .... dp knows to pick up the slack today or frankly things won't get done )