To think ut makes sense for the parent leaving the house for work to do the nursery run?

[Tartankilts]

Goes past the nursery so this makes sense, but is it unfair always to be one person?

Depends, it can add 10 mins or so onto the journey depending on queue drop off? And then they've also got to commute to work. Does the other person wfh and have more time. Are you both helping getting child ready for nursery or is the person driving having to do that alone whilst the other stays in bed. Lots of variables.

Surely it depends what the other parent is doing?

Most days DH does the nursery run as it's more practical but if there is the opportunity for me to do it, e.g I have a late start then I enjoy taking him and dropping him off.

YANBU. Welcome to the cause of most of the bickering in our house for the last 18 months!

I WFH most of the time, DH doesn’t. He does drive past nursery to get to work (not directly, it would be a detour) but leaves the house slightly too early for this to be useful for a drop-off.

Do I resent it? A bit, when I’m busy and would love to be at my desk by 7.45am.

Depends on timings and nature of commute.

If the person working from home onlh starts at 9 and the parent out of the home has to leave at 7 then it would make sense for at least some days the parent at home to do nursery run.

Context Is everything here. If I was going out to work every day and my partner didn't work or was wfh, then I would be seriously pissed off if they expected me to do drop off and pick up every day because it is a massive PITA.

Depends. I wfh and do virtually all the nursery runs. DH starts too early and finishes too late to do it with few exceptions. It’s sucks and really curtails my working day so I often have to work after bedtime but to be fair he has been trying to get a job nearer home and when I eventually get to go back to the office I won’t resent it so much anyway.

Depends on overall fairness of how the couple split weekday stuff to do.

Eg the morning domestics/parenting, pick ups and evening domestics / parenting.

If the person working elsewhere does less overall, for example, not unfair for them to do all the drop offs.

*Depends on timings and nature of commute.

If the person working from home onlh starts at 9 and the parent out of the home has to leave at 7 then it would make sense for at least some days the parent at home to do nursery run*

But if the early leaver takes DC and WFH can crack on at 7:30 and be done and at pick up at 4 then I'd say that's fair. If WFH is getting an hour and a half in bed, not so much.

Not necessarily. It depends on other circumstances.

As others say, it depends!

Is the parent going out to work travelling by public transport, driving or walking? Obviously if they're walking past the nursery it would seem to make sense to take the toddler!

Is the other parent working from home, or on maternity leave with a baby? If so yes it might make sense for the one going out to work on a route past the nursery to do the nursery run.

it depends. I used to leave the house and DH left much later because of shifts.
But I couldn't drop the DCs before 7:30 which meant i not only hit maximum traffic, it made me arrive after 8:30 which meant i couldn't leave early enough to pick them up on the way home - while he was at work.
So no, not in all cases.

I do the breakfast club run even though dh passes the school and I wfh. This is because dh passes the school 10mins before BC starts and therefore would be later to work.

He would do it in an emergency but not generally.

Why would you feel bad all the drop offs being on one person? Is it because that person is Dad? No one considers if all schools runs done by a Mum is unfair.

Depends....on timing. Not nursery but DH drives past school to work. He has to be at work at 9am. School opens at 9am. DD is 5. For him to wait till school opens he be late to work at 9.20

Depends on context. In our house it’s the person WFH who does the nursery runs because it’s less stressful; the person in the office that day can get on with their commute without the added time factor and dawdling toddler.

But we’re in London so our commute are approx 100 hours. We stagger our hours so we can take it in turns – I do drop off, DP does pick up – and shorten DC’s day. But on office days, the timings and maths don’t work. We walk to nursery too so have to factor in pausing to look at a snail or a leaf or a wall…

It also tends to be the person WFH who does the nursery run here too. Although nursery is on the way to a tube station (we're in London), the faffing adds so much time to the commute and if you have to be in the office for a set time, it's a bloody nightmare. The person WFH has a bit more flexibility generally. It's not set in stone though.

When my DH was wfh and I was in the office, he would do drop of for DD. Reason being I already had a stressful morning getting ready and commuting to work, whilst he could wake up and switch the computer on.

I did pick off on the way home as not in such a rush to catch trains etc and he could work until later in the day.

Assuming it doesn’t make them late then no to me it makes sense ( and was how it worked for us).

I agree and I’m the one doing the nursery run. If I’m out anyway then I may as well do it. I’d find it annoying to have to get dressed and ready and drop off if my dh were to be driving past. I have to go out of my way and then when you add in waiting times it adds half an hour to my morning and then the same to my evening commute (10 mins out of my way, 10 mins queuing/handover, 10 mins to then get to work). My dh does some bits in the house in the day which he wouldn’t be able to do if in the office. It never occurred to me that he should be doing the nursery run tbh or what is “fair”. We do what logically makes the most sense, sometimes that works in my favour and sometimes in DH’s.

Depends on so much stuff. If they get a bus or train then it's a right pain in the bum.

Is the other parent not getting up?

Both start at similar times but it adds a good 15 mins to my journey.

Overslept a bit today. Asked DH to take DD. He agreed bur begrudgingly.

So many variables.

What is probably fairer over all is that both parents do a split of an even number of days across the week. If that's possible. My DH works at 7am, he could never do drop offs on working days.

@Tartankilts

Both start at similar times but it adds a good 15 mins to my journey.

Overslept a bit today. Asked DH to take DD. He agreed bur begrudgingly.

If he is WFH then he has the easier day. I think he should be trying to do his share of the trips.l unless he's been up parenting in the night or he does all the housework. Whether that means he picks up or drops off.

It's not just about being out of the house and past the nursery.
Parking can be a pain outside nurseries, drop offs slow and if you then have to be in work for a set time it adds extra stress onto the morning. So if the other person isnt working then they should do it.
Also depends on age and how easy the child is in the morning.
If the person going out to work has to wrangle the child, get themselves ready and then do drop off before work thats different to 2 parents helping

I think it should be shared. Unless it is absolutely impossible for one parent to do it.