To ask why some people are SO rude about Valentine’s Day?

[Sweetlikejollof]

I find this so strange. If you don’t celebrate it, then that’s fine. Nobody is trying to make you.

However, some of us do celebrate it. And we enjoy it. So, why be rude about it? Why all the vitriol? Every year, multiple threads of people being remarkably unpleasant that others have the effrontery to celebrate something that they don’t personally care for. Why?!

And the ‘it’s commercial nonsense’ and ‘we celebrate our love every day’ arguments aren’t relevant here, as I’m not asking why you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

All of your questions were answered on TAAT - which is exactly what this is. Those 'malcontents' were visible on both sides of that earlier Hallmark occasion argument, as you are very well aware.

@Bostromani

You can't equate the absurdity of Valentines Day - a purely commercial relatively modern concept - with Christmas. That's completely ridiculous.

People feel the need to criticise ' VD' as it causes more misery than it does joy.

It covers up abuse in relationship, makes over people feel neglected, lonely and worthless , and judges people who enjoy it for being shallow and materialistic.

It's just a really horrific concept, and that's why people feel compelled to comment negatively on it, to give it balance.

Why not? They are both completely made up holidays (as all holidays are), they are both incredibly commercialised and they both have a detrimental impact on the mental health of people who are alone.

People of all stripes, in all kinds of relationships (romantic and familial), ranging from toxic to fantastic, celebrate both in all sorts of ways.

The only difference is that you apparently like Christmas.

@SirChenjins

All of your questions were answered on TAAT - which is exactly what this is. Those 'malcontents' were visible on both sides of that earlier Hallmark occasion argument, as you are very well aware.

Eh, I disagree and I’ve said why. Report the thread. If MN think you’re right, they can take it down.

‘Those 'malcontents' were visible on both sides of that earlier Hallmark occasion argument’. This was addressed in the post to which you’re responding. Did you skim?

It covers up abuse in relationship, makes over people feel neglected, lonely and worthless , and judges people who enjoy it for being shallow and materialistic.

Mothers and Fathers days can also make people feel neglected, lonely and worthless, if they aren’t parents but want/wanted to be or have lost one or both parents or if their spouses/children are judged not to have made enough of an effort or just a token one.

@Bostromani

You can't equate the absurdity of Valentines Day - a purely commercial relatively modern concept - with Christmas. That's completely ridiculous.

People feel the need to criticise ' VD' as it causes more misery than it does joy.

It covers up abuse in relationship, makes over people feel neglected, lonely and worthless , and judges people who enjoy it for being shallow and materialistic.

It's just a really horrific concept, and that's why people feel compelled to comment negatively on it, to give it balance.

What about Mother’s Day or Father’s Day ? Do you not celebrate those made up days?

I could get behind that. In fact, maybe my irritation at Valentine's Day comes from the same place, in that it's difficult to believe any sane, functional adult can actually throw themselves into that kind of nonsense

Yet you seem to think throwing themselves into slagging off women online for something that doesn’t affect you in any way is a pastime for sane functional women. How curious.

I’ve learned so much about myself on this thread. I’m apparently a bitter ugly duckling with a poor relationship history and now I’m a malcontent- all because I think Valentine’s Day is silly frou frou

Eh, I disagree and I’ve said why. Report the thread. If MN think you’re right, they can take it down.
‘Those 'malcontents' were visible on both sides of that earlier Hallmark occasion argument’. This was addressed in the post to which you’re responding. Did you skim?

I know you've disagreed - I didn't think for a minute you would agree. Your defensiveness about Valentine's Day and your absolute insistence that anyone who dares to say that a made up event is a commercial nonsense is a joy-sucking misery guts makes for fascinating and bizarre reading.

@SockFluffInTheBath

I’ve learned so much about myself on this thread. I’m apparently a bitter ugly duckling with a poor relationship history and now I’m a malcontent- all because I think Valentine’s Day is silly frou frou

@SockFluffInTheBath I find this response interesting.

Me: malcontents arrive to tell her and the other posters how stupid they are.

You: so I’m a malcontent because I think Valentine’s Day is silly frou frou.

No, if you are one of the people being referred to, you would be a malcontent because you went to a thread about Valentine’s Day to tell women that they were stupid for celebrating it. And, if you aren’t one of the people being referred to…then you’re not one of the people being referred to.

Oh dear the op is still here berating many more people because she doesn't understand why someone doesn't feel the same as her 🥴interesting tea break reading

@amiafreakofnature

Oh dear the op is still here berating many more people because she doesn't understand why someone doesn't feel the same as her 🥴interesting tea break reading

I understand why people don’t feel the same as me, I just don’t understand why they have to be so unpleasant about it. I guess that’s where the OP is coming from too.

@SirChenjins

*Eh, I disagree and I’ve said why. Report the thread. If MN think you’re right, they can take it down. ‘Those 'malcontents' were visible on both sides of that earlier Hallmark occasion argument’. This was addressed in the post to which you’re responding. Did you skim?*

I know you've disagreed - I didn't think for a minute you would agree. Your defensiveness about Valentine's Day and your absolute insistence that anyone who dares to say that a made up event is a commercial nonsense is a joy-sucking misery guts makes for fascinating and bizarre reading.

As opposed to your absolute insistence that people are meant to tolerate random rudeness from others without reciprocating - because that’s allegedly just as bad, although you never acknowledge the issue with the initial rudeness.

I’ve seen you on both threads and it’s fascinating how you choose to ignore the bits of comments to which you’d have difficulty replying. I’ve also noted that any and every response that doesn’t agree with you is apparently ‘defensive’.

If you think it’s a TAAT, then report it. I don’t have anything further to say to you.

[quote Sweetlikejollof]**@WelliesWithHeels* I think you may have misread my OP. As my final line states, I’m not asking why anyone doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically* asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.[/quote]
I apologize if I wasn't clear. My second paragraph was meant to explain why I think some people are so anti-Valentine's Day. The vitriol can be surprising, so I absolutely understand your post!

@WelliesWithHeels Ah, I see. Misreading on my part, then. My apologies.

And, yes, the vitriol is astonishing!

@Sweetlikejollof

I could get behind that. In fact, maybe my irritation at Valentine's Day comes from the same place, in that it's difficult to believe any sane, functional adult can actually throw themselves into that kind of nonsense

Yet you seem to think throwing themselves into slagging off women online for something that doesn’t affect you in any way is a pastime for sane functional women. How curious.

I made a single comment. It took probably thirty seconds while I was waiting for a document to print. Hardly the equivalent of putting on my Minnie Mouse ears, jetting off to Disneyland and posting with Belle and Aurora like they're actual royalty. Or getting a Little Mermaid full sleeve.

@Satingreenshutters

This is why...year after year after year of utter fucking drival.

He forgot and I am devastated.
He said we were not doing it this year and I bought him a car and he didn't even make me a sambo.
He bought me petrol station flowers..the Gobshite.
He spent €200 quid on Blood Red Roses and we have no money for food..the gobshite.
His Valentine's Card said "friend".
He didn't cut my toast into love hearts.
I put on Valentines lingerie and he locked himself in the bathroom for a wank.
He bought me Quality Street and I only Like Lindor.
I feel so unloved/unappreciated/undervalued/taken for granted.
My friend Pauline got a trip to the Bahamas and my BF only got me the Meal Deal from Tesco.
Valley's Day is so important to me and he doesn't care, it is so hurtful.
The kids made cards but Hubby left me nothing this morning except toast crumbs on the counter, I am so gutted and hurt.

Blah
Blah
Blah

I relate to far too many of these

@SnakeLinguine So, these people are doing something that they consider fun that doesn’t affect you at all - and that’s not fine.

But you slagging them off is fine because it requires less of a time commitment on your part?

Oh no, I'm not going to report it @Sweetlikejollof - I'm enjoying your complete over-reaction to something so utterly trivial to the extent you've started a TAAT about it far too much. I'll just post as I wish, you don't have to respond - and nor do I expect you to

@SirChenjins

Oh no, I'm not going to report it *@Sweetlikejollof* - I'm enjoying your complete over-reaction to something so utterly trivial to the extent you've started a TAAT about it far too much. I'll just post as I wish, you don't have to respond - and nor do I expect you to

Posting a thread about something = complete overreaction

Going to multiple threads to argue the same things over and over again while ignoring responses that don’t suit you = normal, healthy and sane

Claiming something is TAAT and refusing to report it = normal, healthy and sane

The logic of @SirChenjins

Goodness, what horrible responses. It’s quite clear that your post is about the attitude of despising people who celebrate Valentine’s Day, not the day itself.

Agree that the snobbery around celebrations on MN is bizarre. You are quite right

No, if you are one of the people being referred to, you would be a malcontent because you went to a thread about Valentine’s Day to tell women that they were stupid for celebrating it. And, if you aren’t one of the people being referred to…then you’re not one of the people being referred to.

I’m only on this one. I wouldn’t go on someone’s thread about received flowers etc to say I thought it was silly and roll my eyes at them, I’m not quite the colleague of hedgehog lady. I thought it was to say on this thread I think it’s silly.

Ok to say

That's correct @Saysama - getting so worked up and defensive about other poster's views on a completely made up event that disagree with your own to the extent you start another thread about it in order to berate them is a complete over-reaction, you're absolutely right.

@SirChenjins

That's correct *@Saysama* - getting so worked up and defensive about other poster's views on a completely made up event that disagree with your own to the extent you start another thread about it in order to berate them is a complete over-reaction, you're absolutely right.

Starting a thread about something that interests you is standard - it’s what Mumsnet is for. You’re so worked up and defensive about other people’s views on a completely made up event that disagree with your own - to the extent that you followed them to another thread to berate them about it. And you don’t even have any logical responses to the points made, everything that’s coming from you is just disjointed rage. It’s quite disturbing.

But, yes, keep rocking back and forth and assuring yourself of your sanity.

Oh dear, I hope you aren't too disturbed. I'd be questioning my own sanity if I found something so trivial to be disturbing to the point I saw actual disjointed rage. I do hope you're OK.

OK, now that we've roundly insulted each other's levels of sanity let's get back to the very serious business of Valentine's Day and the correct way to view this important event.