To ask why some people are SO rude about Valentine’s Day?

[Sweetlikejollof]

I find this so strange. If you don’t celebrate it, then that’s fine. Nobody is trying to make you.

However, some of us do celebrate it. And we enjoy it. So, why be rude about it? Why all the vitriol? Every year, multiple threads of people being remarkably unpleasant that others have the effrontery to celebrate something that they don’t personally care for. Why?!

And the ‘it’s commercial nonsense’ and ‘we celebrate our love every day’ arguments aren’t relevant here, as I’m not asking why you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

@browneyes77 Ha! That seems a very sensible approach.

@browneyes77

Personally I haven’t been arsed about Valentine’s Day since I was a teenager.

It’s always felt more like a kind of ‘teens sending a card to the boy they fancy’ kind of thing. And once I got older I just thought it was a load of cheesy bollocks.

However, if other people want to celebrate it, that’s their prerogative. Doesn’t really bother or affect me in any way, so you crack on and do what makes you happy.

I think the only slight irritation I have is the hundreds of stealth brags on my Facebook newsfeed from people posting about how romantic their partner is and what they’ve bought them. “OMG how amazing is my man! Look what he did for me…” bla bla.

My partner has the same on his Facebook. So we generally tend to stay off Facebook around Valentines Day for this reason

Exactly

And my husband can show the lovely gifts he gets me to his mates and our family and they will think aww he's a great bloke.
But they have no idea how he treats me like I don't matter any other time

@Sweetlikejollof

The current incarnation of Halloween bears no relation to the original, ancient festivals

All holidays evolve. They are not required to stay exactly the same in order to be part of a deeply rooted tradition dating back for centuries or to be an important part of the culture.

Since when has Halloween been a 'holiday'?

@GirlInACountrySong

Back then it may have been a holiday

Dancing round fires or whatever for days on end

It's just a day now. A day. Nowt special. And I think key here in that little text you found on Google is it's a theory.

@GirlInACountrySong Yes. It evolved. Which is quite literally what was said in the comment to which you responded.

Also, I provided multiple ‘little texts I found on Google’. There are multiple more. So, that’s the answer to ‘since when has Halloween been a holiday?’ If you don’t like it, please feel free to take it up with the Encyclopaedia Brittanica.

It's so not a 'holiday' though! Employers don't recognise it,nobody really bats an eyelid. We employ roughly 100 people and nobody books it off as 'holiday' or even asks for it as a day off

It's not recognised! Proper holiday periods are,but this...well, it's just a bog standard day

It's not even a hallmark occasion 😂

More like a day to smash up and waste pumpkins and let your kids roam the streets begging.

This is so strange. You appear to have very strong feelings about this. I really don’t. 😂

You asked a question and I answered it. If you don’t like said answer and refuse to accept that Halloween is a holiday, that’s fine. Do your thing.

Well OP, you've had a wide range of replies and you're making sarcastic comments on those that have got under your skin, so it looks to me as though you're the one with the problem.

Can we slag off grown women that are obsessed with Disney?

What about slagging off grown adults that go to Disney world and wear mouse ears and get selfies with princess characters etc? Now that’s a moan I could get behind 😁

@gettingolderandgrumpy

It’s not rude to say it’s a commercial waste of money and most of us couldn’t care less that people want to parade it on SM . Maybe do it quietly and nobody would be rude !!

I haven’t put anything on FB about Valentines Day. I posted on a thread asking what gifts people have had and I’ve replied to posts sneering at VD but I haven’t done any unsolicited “parading”!

In fact, none of the sneerers has started a thread “AIBU to think Valentines is a load of crap”, they’ve just gone on to other Valentine related threads to piss on everyone’s chips.

I would imagine there are so many reasons why!

Absolutely a handful of people who would love to be spoiled with their favorite treats/flowers/love notes/etc. aren't, so out of a self protective or defensive mechanism proclaim it as a stupid, commercialized day of nothing.

Couples married for ages and ages and just can't be bothered or have different financial priorities.

Couples who have an overriding life event on the day--maybe a baby was born, maybe a death, etc.

I love Valentine's Day and always have. My mom made it special for me as a kid, my university roommates and I made it special for each other, and I've always had partners who made the day very special. It's a fun day to celebrate love, affection, treats, and joy. But everyone is different!

@ShittyFingers

Can we slag off grown women that are obsessed with Disney?

What about slagging off grown adults that go to Disney world and wear mouse ears and get selfies with princess characters etc? Now that’s a moan I could get behind 😁

I could get behind that. In fact, maybe my irritation at Valentine's Day comes from the same place, in that it's difficult to believe any sane, functional adult can actually throw themselves into that kind of nonsense.

Also, the aesthetic of Valentine's Day annoys me -- especially those fnar fnar cards that say things like

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
I TOUCH MY WILLY WHEN THINKING OF YOU.

We don't do much and Valentine's day is mostly an excuse for us to enjoy chocolates, silly romantic movies and smartshow 3d videos with hearts and glitter but I don't mind people doing much more and splurging on it if they feel like it. Commercialized or not, it's still a chance to do something fun and life is already too full of unpleasant events to be grumpy about some pleasant ones, even if commercialized, idk.

@GirlInACountrySong

The whole post is odd. Right through from the beginning. Little girl with her holidays and celebrating needs to grow up! Always one on mumsnet though.

You sound quite mad. 😂

@FangsForTheMemory

Well OP, you've had a wide range of replies and you're making sarcastic comments on those that have got under your skin, so it looks to me as though you're the one with the problem.

I’ve had conversations with people, disagreed with some and replied in kind to the people who were rude. If you consider that to be ‘making sarcastic comments on those that have got under my skin’, then I’m sure I’ll live.

Thanks for your input.

@ShittyFingers

Can we slag off grown women that are obsessed with Disney?

What about slagging off grown adults that go to Disney world and wear mouse ears and get selfies with princess characters etc? Now that’s a moan I could get behind 😁

Or we could just not slag off other women for doing things that don’t affect us in any way. What a treat that would be.

@CounsellorTroi Yup. Just spreading their misery about.

This is a TAAT - and if anyone wants to read it then they will see that the posters on there who do celebrate Valentine’s Day dished put as much rudeness as you claim you received/witnessed.

Original thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4481517-Aibu-to-ask-what-you-got-for-Valentines-day

I thought TAAT were not allowed on MN - or has that rule changed?

@WelliesWithHeels I think you may have misread my OP. As my final line states, I’m not asking why anyone doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (your relationship is entirely your business), I’m specifically asking why some people are rude about other people celebrating it.

You can't equate the absurdity of Valentines Day - a purely commercial relatively modern concept - with Christmas. That's completely ridiculous.

People feel the need to criticise ' VD' as it causes more misery than it does joy.

It covers up abuse in relationship, makes over people feel neglected, lonely and worthless , and judges people who enjoy it for being shallow and materialistic.

It's just a really horrific concept, and that's why people feel compelled to comment negatively on it, to give it balance.

@SirChenjins

Original thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4481517-Aibu-to-ask-what-you-got-for-Valentines-day

I thought TAAT were not allowed on MN - or has that rule changed?

It’s not a TAAT, though, is it? It’s a thread about a trend (which has been illustrated beautifully on this thread), of which the thread that you linked is illustrative.

• OP asks what people got for Valentine’s Day
• Some people say what they got for Valentine’s Day
• The hordes of malcontents arrive to tell her and the other posters how stupid they are for celebrating or even mentioning Valentine’s Day (on a thread explicitly for that purpose.
• When their rudeness is replied in kind, people like you go “See! You didn’t just lie down and accept the insults! You dished out rudeness, too!”

It’s interesting what you think the alternative was on that thread. The people who celebrate VD were meant to be saintly and rise above it all? Why?