7 coming to stay! Invited themselves ! To very elderly relatives !

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

So some younger relatives contacted my mum to announce that they were coming to stay with my parents. 7 of them including 2 children. To celebrate her 90th birthday! For 10 days!

She will have to get food in , contemplating a caravan in the garden, (because their quite large house is not really big enough for 7 extra) and do all sorts of stuff in preparation and whilst they are there. My parents go to bed relatively early these days , so their sleeping habits no doubt will be disturbed. When I heard , I suggested I would look at alternative accommodation Air B&B etc . Trouble is they live in a very rural area away from public transport but I did find one possibility.

Then another bomb shell . They are not intending to hire a car because they don’t like British roads . ( not from uk) . So the property I found is unsuitable as it’s a few miles away with no public transport links.

My parents now have 2 unreliable cars hardly go anywhere now and been shielding for the last 2 years anyhow because mum is CEV . (Explaining unreliable cars but that is another thread in itself) . So these relatives expect to be driven everywhere and collected from the airport too. And the 2 children are young enough to need car seats I think ( youngest at least , not sure of height of older one) .

It’s utter madness! Mum feels compelled to say yes because over the years they have stayed with that family though not them personally.

I think she should be saying no! Dad says “ they will muddle through” .

AIBU to somehow step in without it causing WW3 in the family?

Hope you are soon feeling much better OP, and do try and step well away from all the drama now. I've got 10 relatives in the States, and so I know all too well the pandemonium it causes when a bunch turns up mob-handed over here for weeks on end. I've learned to just let them get on with it now.

Look after yourself OP. You’ve Done all you can to put the unwelcome guests off and it appears you may have been successful.
I often used to wish I was part of a large family (1 aunt, 1 uncle, no cousins) but maybe it’s a two edged blessing!
Rest up and recuperate in the meantime

Is it possible they have a good relationship with your parents and that's why they feel easy inviting themselves?

When I first read this my first thought was ...are they American /Irish ? Are they my cousins ? Because our lot are EXACTLY the same. 🙄

Did the relatives visit ? @2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney

NO NO NO...What totally selfish people they must be. I am 75 and husband 80 and we could not cope with this situation, or want too.
Protect your parents and tell these leeches to find alternative accommodation, they could visit for afternoon tea and thats all. At 90 your mother probably still wants to feel she can do all this entertaining, I still imagine I can do things which are now out of my remit. You must take the role of gatekeeper and protect them or start preparing for their demise. Good Luck..Stand strong

Leave her alone. She's already been pestered mercilessly for updates back in the spring and has posted about bereavement and health issues.

No-one owes you updates. If OP had anything she wanted to share, she would have done so.

@saraclara
The OP said she would update in August.
I'm sorry to read she has been unwell.
As someone living in Ireland our house was often full of visitors, some from the US and some from the country. My mother loved having them ( for a few days ) my father not so much .

What ended up happening @2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney ?

This. You need to step in on your mum’s behalf and take this on for her. Poor lady.