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Original poster

Vegas and Strippers

254 replies

Hexagonmum · 14/02/2022 00:15

So my DH is off to Vegas for his brothers stag do. There's a whole bunch of them going together which is fine as they'll have a great time.
My concern is I've overheard them on their video chat speaking of going to a strip joint.

I don't want my DH going to a strip joint, like what the actual fuck, just because it's a stag do doesn't mean they have to act like idiots and all excited about seeing strippers, it makes me sick as to how sleazy men are.

I spoke to him after his video chat and he said if all his boys are going to the strip joint he doesn't want to be the only one not going. I told him that I class it as cheating and for him to make his decision but not to lie to me and to tell me the truth if he ends up going or not.

I'm standing firm on this.

OP posts:
twiggy19 · 14/02/2022 00:20

I wouldn't see it as cheating.

Just like watching porn?

It will be awkward for him if he has to say he isn't allowed

dreamingbohemian · 14/02/2022 00:24

Good for you! I'd feel the same

Sounds like he's already planning to disappoint you though

SometimesIwalksideways · 14/02/2022 00:29

I would be the same OP. Would be a deal-breaker for me if DH went to a strip joint.

Campfirewood · 14/02/2022 00:33

I have been to a fair few strip clubs (in a male dominated industry, not proud of it).
Strip club I wouldn’t mind.
Private dance / lap dance I would mind.
As my DH would, if he walked into a room and a naked man was writhing around on top of me.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2022 00:34

Deal breaker for me. I wouldn’t tell him not to do it but my reaction if he did is clear.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 14/02/2022 00:36

It depends whether you think the objectification and degradation of women is okay?

(Awaits the women who say 'sex work' is empowering and women actually love flashing their vagina and breasts for leering men).

Pedalpushers · 14/02/2022 00:39

I mean, I really don't think going to a strip club is cheating. Lapdance or anything else perhaps. If he tells you he has gone, what will you do?

RoseRedRoseBlue · 14/02/2022 00:40

I would have a far bigger issue with my partner going to LV on a stag do full stop than when he did when he was there.

Maves · 14/02/2022 00:43

If he had respect for you he wouldn't go tough skit if he's the odd one out...you should mean more. If he dies go that thought will be in your head forever of him piercing over girls/women fuck that.

Maves · 14/02/2022 00:44

Ffs "perving" and "shit"

Schoop · 14/02/2022 00:51

I wouldn't be bothered by the strippers. I'd be more concerned he'll be tempted by the hookers that hand out business cards on the boulevard!

Linguini · 14/02/2022 00:52

Men don't go to stags in Vegas to behave themselves. like they don't go to Amsterdam to look at the tulips. Sorry it's booked already. He'll be going to the strip clubs, if you try stop him going he'll lie to you about going. You need to work out how to work through this as a couple.

Juliauns91 · 14/02/2022 00:53

I'm with you OP.
If he is easily led by his friends when drunk (like most men), it's going to be a problem.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2022 00:58

You need to work out how to work through this as a couple

This has fuck-all to do with them as a “couple” and everything to do with him acting like a pathetic selfish arsehole

Summerfun54321 · 14/02/2022 00:59

I miss read the title as “vegans” and strippers 😂.

Original poster
Hexagonmum · 14/02/2022 01:02

@Linguini

Men don't go to stags in Vegas to behave themselves. like they don't go to Amsterdam to look at the tulips. Sorry it's booked already. He'll be going to the strip clubs, if you try stop him going he'll lie to you about going. You need to work out how to work through this as a couple.
FFS! This is so true.
OP posts:
Siameasy · 14/02/2022 01:03

What you gonna do if he goes?! Divorce?!

He obviously doesn’t have a problem with strippers-it’s you who does. You’re not the one going, he is. You don’t own him.

Original poster
Hexagonmum · 14/02/2022 01:05

I just don't get it. Why ruin a relationship for a seedy trip...It 100% will change how I view him if he ends up going to a strip joint, there's no way he's going to be sitting in a corner acting all prim and proper while his mates are lapping it up...booze and raunchy girls is going to make him fuck up our relationship.

OP posts:
cuno · 14/02/2022 01:08

Would you have found out/would he have told you if you hadn't overheard the video call? I wonder, do the partners of the other men know they are planning on going to strip clubs?

I wouldn't be happy about this either.

Wagsandclaws · 14/02/2022 01:16

I'm pretty sure my DH wouldn't do this anyway but it would be a real problem for me if he did.

The trouble is you have no way of knowing if he will or he won't as he may not be truthful. It's a difficult situation.

Original poster
Hexagonmum · 14/02/2022 01:17

In all fairness to him he's always been upfront and honest with me, him going to Vegas doesn't worry me as I know he loves the casinos there and the vibe as do I.

He's told me if they end up going to a strip joint he will go but he won't do anything as he will never jeopardise us.
A few years ago his best mate had a stag do and they went to a strip joint, he told them he wasn't going as it wouldn't be right and he went back to his hotel room.

Sooo wtf can't he do that in Vegas???!!!! It doesn't make sense...he had the foresight a few years ago but now it's like he wants to go.

Like I said I'm not going to stop him from going and I've told him that it will change things between us, that's not me being petty or jealous, it's more that he doesn't have the same respect and love for me that he had before where automatically he wouldn't ever entertain the idea of going to a strip joint because he knew how it would make me feel.

OP posts:
CatNameChange101 · 14/02/2022 01:18

@DorothyZbornakIsAQueen

It depends whether you think the objectification and degradation of women is okay?

(Awaits the women who say 'sex work' is empowering and women actually love flashing their vagina and breasts for leering men).

Sorry but have you ever met a sex worker? They are people not stereotypes or your thoughts on what it is.
Daphodils · 14/02/2022 01:30

I don't really understand how you benefit from him not going, except to derive some pleasure from exercising control over him.

You don't want to be married to someone who thinks it's ok to pay to see woman undress? You already are.

mummykel16 · 14/02/2022 01:30

@Hexagonmum

So my DH is off to Vegas for his brothers stag do. There's a whole bunch of them going together which is fine as they'll have a great time. My concern is I've overheard them on their video chat speaking of going to a strip joint.

I don't want my DH going to a strip joint, like what the actual fuck, just because it's a stag do doesn't mean they have to act like idiots and all excited about seeing strippers, it makes me sick as to how sleazy men are.

I spoke to him after his video chat and he said if all his boys are going to the strip joint he doesn't want to be the only one not going. I told him that I class it as cheating and for him to make his decision but not to lie to me and to tell me the truth if he ends up going or not.

I'm standing firm on this.

It isn't cheating but it doesn't matter, if that's your red line then so be it,
cuno · 14/02/2022 01:32

@CatNameChange101

She isn't passing judgement on the women though, is she?

It's a comment on the industry and the (largely) men that support it, and the women who aren't trafficked, exploited, objectified and degraded by the industry that speak on behalf of those who are!

The women I know who used to be prostituted certainly don't have this dim view of it being empowering.