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Original poster

Vegas and Strippers

254 replies

Hexagonmum · 14/02/2022 00:15

So my DH is off to Vegas for his brothers stag do. There's a whole bunch of them going together which is fine as they'll have a great time.
My concern is I've overheard them on their video chat speaking of going to a strip joint.

I don't want my DH going to a strip joint, like what the actual fuck, just because it's a stag do doesn't mean they have to act like idiots and all excited about seeing strippers, it makes me sick as to how sleazy men are.

I spoke to him after his video chat and he said if all his boys are going to the strip joint he doesn't want to be the only one not going. I told him that I class it as cheating and for him to make his decision but not to lie to me and to tell me the truth if he ends up going or not.

I'm standing firm on this.

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 14/02/2022 11:43

I feel the same as you, OP. It’s indicative of his attitude towards women in general. And a weak character - a man of principle would have no problem telling his mates he wasn’t going.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 14/02/2022 11:43

@nettytree

Have you ever been to see the chippendales or watched magic Mike on TV. It amounts to the same thing in my eyes. Channing tatum has the body of a god, but I would pick my chubby husband any day. Trust him.
Wow.

It really isn't.

Cognoscenti · 14/02/2022 11:45

@TheRealityCheque

Give your head a wobble.

'cheating'. Lol

It's no different from all the women that get a stripper for a hen do. Or go see the dreamboys etc.

It really would be a good idea to read the thread before posting... So many posters writing things like this after more than one poster who has worked in strip clubs has said it is categorically not the same and women are very often forced into it. I very much doubt the dream boys have been trafficked/forced to perform.
tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 14/02/2022 11:46

@TheRealityCheque

Give your head a wobble.

'cheating'. Lol

It's no different from all the women that get a stripper for a hen do. Or go see the dreamboys etc.

How many of those men experience sexual violence or assault from women customers or their employer as part of their career? Confused
TheRealityCheque · 14/02/2022 11:46

@AnyFucker

There is something much more “emasculating” (they way pp defines it) about men collectively seeking sexual arousal together

Closet homosexuality. Nobody likes to “banter” about that though, do they. No, enjoying your hard on in the presence of your drinking buddies is pure red blooded male yes indeed

You're too funny.

As someone that used to work in a strip club, I can assure you the guys aren't all wandering around with massive boners.

Private dances are different, but we are not talking about those.

They're often just chatting away and drinking as if in a pub whilst watching a stripper as well - most in a group aren't getting 'turned on' per se

whynotwhatknot · 14/02/2022 11:47

If thats your line and youve told him its up to him now

i just cant see him saying no when hes there in the atmosphere with all his mates and brother

Heyahun · 14/02/2022 11:47

you will actually split up with him for going on a night out to a strip club - yieks seems a bit extreme - but if thats how you feel

flowervest75 · 14/02/2022 11:48

I can’t wait to go to America (especially Atlanta) and go to a strip club again. I had the time of my life😂

I think it’s a bit drastic to view it as cheating. It’s not as if he’ll be going into the back room for a private service is it? However if you’re not happy with it then that’s that. Hopefully he stays put and doesn’t go. Wouldn’t really be worth throwing a relationship away just for a few hours of fun

Pr1mr0se · 14/02/2022 11:50

It's Vegas, it's a stag do, he's there without you. He can do what he likes and join in. I think you are treating your husband like a child and you need to sort your trust issues out pronto.

TabithaTittlemouse · 14/02/2022 11:50

@TheRealityCheque

Give your head a wobble.

'cheating'. Lol

It's no different from all the women that get a stripper for a hen do. Or go see the dreamboys etc.

That is also disgusting.
StripStripHooray · 14/02/2022 11:51

@TheRealityCheque

Give your head a wobble.

'cheating'. Lol

It's no different from all the women that get a stripper for a hen do. Or go see the dreamboys etc.

I was a female stripper.

It could not be more different.

OP can define cheating and set boundaries within her relationship.

Yeahthat · 14/02/2022 11:51

@crabappleof

I'm sure there are men who aren't interested in this sort of thing but IME most men are, and would go if they thought they could get away with it.
I agree. From what I've seen, the biggest barrier to most going isn't principles, it's that they see them as an expensive waste of money.
CoffeeLover99 · 14/02/2022 11:51

What if one of your female friends went to a male strip club, would the same rule/s apply OP?

Whammyyammy · 14/02/2022 11:51

Its your choice, but I wouldn't consider it cheating or unfaithful. My husband has been to Vegas about 15 times with work, he's ended up in a strip club a few times when younger. Says some of the lads pay for dances, sometimes a couple have had 'extras'.
It's not compulsory to have a lap dance or anything, clearly a trust issue

TheRealityCheque · 14/02/2022 11:52

@Cognoscenti

**It really would be a good idea to read the thread before posting... So many posters writing things like this after more than one poster who has worked in strip clubs has said it is categorically not the same and women are very often forced into it. I very much doubt the dream boys have been trafficked/forced to perform.

I have no need to read the view of 'one poster' as I used to work in strip clubs myself, both as a dancer and waitress.

None of the club's I worked in would ever have had trafficked or otherwise forced ladies working there.

I'm sure they exist, bit they won't be hard to spot and avoid.

Canaloha · 14/02/2022 11:53

He will just go and not tell you presumably, he isn't going to sit in his hotel room twiddling his thumbs whilst they're all there. I agree strip clubs are disgusting and I'd find it grim, we all have our limits and I don't think it's unreasonable that this is one of yours, but I'd assume he will be going.

girlmom21 · 14/02/2022 11:53

@Pr1mr0se

It's Vegas, it's a stag do, he's there without you. He can do what he likes and join in. I think you are treating your husband like a child and you need to sort your trust issues out pronto.
Not wanting your husband to not spend his cash and time watching women who are being exploited for mens pleasure doesn't equate to having trust issues.
DoNotTouchTheWater · 14/02/2022 11:54

Women can ‘pick this profession’ if they want (although let’s not kid ourselves that they necessarily are picking it).

Doesn’t change the fact that I utterly condemn the men (and any women) who want to use those services. Just as I would support any sex worker. But I deplore punters.

saleorbouy · 14/02/2022 11:55

I think you need to lighten up a bit. It's entertainment and really no different to watching a stripper or nude scene in a movie or are you the sort that covers his eyes during these too?
There strict no touching policy in these types of venues so no worries there. Let him have his fun with his friends.
If you have a strong relationship then you have nothing to worry about. Better he's honest and communicates with you, to me that would mean more. You are putting him under pressure to perhaps conceal what goes on because of your attitude.
It's not up to you either to dictate his boundaries, he's an adult and his own person.
You sound very insecure about your relationship and his fidelity to me.

DoNotTouchTheWater · 14/02/2022 11:58

They're often just chatting away and drinking as if in a pub whilst watching a stripper as well - most in a group aren't getting 'turned on' per se

That’s almost worse. It’s just a background of casual misogyny. 🤮

DoNotTouchTheWater · 14/02/2022 11:59

It's not up to you either to dictate his boundaries, he's an adult and his own person.

The OP can assert her own boundaries. Why are her boundaries ‘insecurity’ but his ‘entertainment’? 🙄

Katya213 · 14/02/2022 12:00

The dancers in the club were not trafficked, the girls are heavily protected by law and legislation. Most of the girls were uni graduates from very well to do background, believe me.

Hasselhoffsheadband · 14/02/2022 12:00

I read this thread title as 'Vegans and Strippers' and opened it full of curiosity!

Dollybirds · 14/02/2022 12:01

Let’s face it he’s going to go. He probably will get turned on by it.

What are you realistically going to do, break up with him over it?

Cognoscenti · 14/02/2022 12:02

So... how do you tell the difference between a woman who is choosing to work as a stripper and one who is being forced to dance and smile for fear of what will happen if she doesn't?