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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this isn't 'pretentious'

332 replies

blameitontheweatherwoman · 12/02/2022 18:28

Meeting my brothers new girlfriend last night at a family event. Small talk etc and she asked me what I was doing at uni, I said and I quote, 'a masters in social work'. That was fine, small pleasantries were exchanged and that was it.

Must note me and my brother don't have the best of relationships. God knows we've tried but we just don't get on, we're polar opposites and fall out, make up, fall out, make up.

Anyways, this afternoon I received a text from him, basically the way I presented myself and my education was 'pretentious'. Was there any need to tell his girlfriend I was doing a master in social work rather than just 'I'm doing social work'. He said even saying I was doing a postgrad would have been better.

It was honestly not a conscious thought but was then thinking, even if it was, why bloody not? I'm proud of it?

However it's made me weary about how I present it to others (sure I'm overthinking). Is it pretentious to say that when asked??

OP posts:
TiffanyAchingsHatFullofSky · 12/02/2022 18:30

It's not in the slightest bit pretentious.

No wonder you don't get on with him.

SameToo · 12/02/2022 18:30

He’s an idiot. I’d have said the same because that’s what you’re doing. If she didn’t want to know then why ask.

VeggieSausage · 12/02/2022 18:30

Not at all! She asked what you were studying, you told her! No need to hide it!

MrsTophamHat · 12/02/2022 18:31

No it's not. Has he been to university?

ClariceQuiff · 12/02/2022 18:31

Your brother is a twat, and so is his girlfriend if she actually objected to this.

ComDummings · 12/02/2022 18:32

Your brother is a dick

grapewine · 12/02/2022 18:32

It's not at all pretentious. He's being idiotic.

Arnia · 12/02/2022 18:32

No it's not at all. Anyone who thinks it is is probably insecure. Unless you have form for being a bit of a boaster?! Grin I've a masters and when asked I probably did answer how your brother suggested but I am too self-deprecating and think your answer was completely fine!

blameitontheweatherwoman · 12/02/2022 18:33

@Arnia

No it's not at all. Anyone who thinks it is is probably insecure. Unless you have form for being a bit of a boaster?! Grin I've a masters and when asked I probably did answer how your brother suggested but I am too self-deprecating and think your answer was completely fine!
Not in my opinion, but I'm sure he would disagree.
OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 12/02/2022 18:34

No. Not pretentious. Sounds like he has a bit of an inferiority complex.

fourandnomore · 12/02/2022 18:34

Hahaha he is ridiculous. If you were pretentious you would have gone into detail about your thesis. You did nothing wrong and it was a completely normal, non pretentious way of describing what you are doing at uni, which was the question she asked you. No wonder you don’t get on well - it’s not you OP!

Arnia · 12/02/2022 18:35

He hasn't been to university has he?

blameitontheweatherwoman · 12/02/2022 18:36

@Arnia

He hasn't been to university has he?
Not that there's anything wrong with that - but no he hasn't.
OP posts:
2pinkginsplease · 12/02/2022 18:37

Not pretentious at all. He sounds like a dick and jealous of you too.

blameitontheweatherwoman · 12/02/2022 18:38

@2pinkginsplease

Not pretentious at all. He sounds like a dick and jealous of you too.
It would look like this but there is absolutely nothing to be jealous about. He has a great job, amazing house (better than I'll ever manage).
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 12/02/2022 18:38

I'd think you were a bit pretentious emphasising the Masters to be honest, but that's because I know people who do so and are being pretentious.

Arnia · 12/02/2022 18:38

It's an inferiority complex then I would guess. He doesn't like you getting ideas above your station.

AmbushedByCake1 · 12/02/2022 18:39

No it's not pretentious at all and he sounds like he has a sizeable chip on his shoulder.

BillMasheen · 12/02/2022 18:39

I’d be tempted to txt back

‘Tell me you haven’t been to university without telling me you haven’t been to university‘

But I’m an arsehole, so maybe don’t do that.

TheSnowyOwl · 12/02/2022 18:39

YANBU. It’s not pretentious if you are educated but if you aren’t and are insecure about it, then I can see how someone would see it that way.

blameitontheweatherwoman · 12/02/2022 18:39

Whereas I'm a single mum in a rented flat trying to make ends meet

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 12/02/2022 18:39

@girlmom21

I'd think you were a bit pretentious emphasising the Masters to be honest, but that's because I know people who do so and are being pretentious.
She wasn't emphasising it though. Just saying it. Confused
blameitontheweatherwoman · 12/02/2022 18:40

@BillMasheen

I’d be tempted to txt back

‘Tell me you haven’t been to university without telling me you haven’t been to university‘

But I’m an arsehole, so maybe don’t do that.

I shouldn't laugh but 😂😂
OP posts:
WulyJmpr · 12/02/2022 18:41

He sounds jealous and like he's trying ro take you down a peg. Ignore and kill with kindness. Just reply with how charming his gf was or something :)

PraiseBee · 12/02/2022 18:42

A situation where it says a lot more about the other party than it does about yourself.

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