To think this isn't 'pretentious'

[blameitontheweatherwoman]

Meeting my brothers new girlfriend last night at a family event. Small talk etc and she asked me what I was doing at uni, I said and I quote, 'a masters in social work'. That was fine, small pleasantries were exchanged and that was it.

Must note me and my brother don't have the best of relationships. God knows we've tried but we just don't get on, we're polar opposites and fall out, make up, fall out, make up.

Anyways, this afternoon I received a text from him, basically the way I presented myself and my education was 'pretentious'. Was there any need to tell his girlfriend I was doing a master in social work rather than just 'I'm doing social work'. He said even saying I was doing a postgrad would have been better.

It was honestly not a conscious thought but was then thinking, even if it was, why bloody not? I'm proud of it?

However it's made me weary about how I present it to others (sure I'm overthinking). Is it pretentious to say that when asked??

Not pretentious just stating what you are doing. Brother is a tit.

You replied factually. You are doing a masters in social work. I don’t see why you need to minimise/misrepresent what you’re actually doing to anyone. It’s a fact!!

If you were my sister I’d probably told a new partner all about what you were doing well before meeting for a meal. I would probably also have said how proud of you I was that you were doing it as a single Mum and everything that entails.
Family are there to lift you up not drag you down. Ignore him. Be proud.

Not pretentious at all. To me it’s a more meaningful answer. But I have a pg degree myself. I grew up in a town where going to uni was a bit “who does she think she is” and I hid my academic ability and drank and smoked too much to deflect the “nerd” accusations so I do recognise attitudes like your brothers.

Christ. Also, I never tell people I think they’re being pretentious even if they actually are! Surely that’s a lot ruder than just being pretentious.

@PraiseBee

A situation where it says a lot more about the other party than it does about yourself.

What was your reply?

I haven't replied as of yet. I told my mum who was a bit actually she was very . Asked a friend and she was also flabbergasted so didn't know what to reply. My brother is a very difficult person though and I really don't have the energy to fall out because when we do it seems to impact on everyone in the family.

Yep pretentious

Not pretentious at all!
Have you replied to his message?

@girlmom21

I'd think you were a bit pretentious emphasising the Masters to be honest, but that's because I know people who do so and are being pretentious.

She simply mentioned it. That's not putting emphasis on anything.

I just a wondered would it be less 'pretentious' to say, 'I'm doing a postgrad in social work'

Absolutely not pretentious at all.

I wouldn’t reply. Leave him hanging.

@Pleasebeafleabite

Yep pretentious

Out of interest, why?

It’s social work, not maths at Oxford. He needs to get a grip.

Either your brother or the girlfriend or both has a massive chip on their shoulder.

":38girlmom21

I'd think you were a bit pretentious emphasising the Masters to be honest, but that's because I know people who do so and are being pretentious"

Yeah, like why not just say "oh I don't do anything at all, I'm not clever enough, not like my brother, he's so intelligent an I am just a silly Billy" and then sit in silence for the rest of the outing.

I wouldn’t reply. It’ll piss him off and that sounds fun 😈

Yep pretentious

She just said the name of her course. I did a PGCE, should I instead call it a 'how to teach thingy' to avoid offending people like you?

The way he’s presenting himself is a complete and utter twat.

I’d reply but in a really kind way to poss him off and say how it’s a shame he thinks that way as it was his gf who asked what you was studying and you didn’t want to be rude and not reply. Maybe he could have a word with his gf about not asking what people are studying if he’s going to be so offended.

I wouldn’t reply. It’ll piss him off and that sounds fun

Yeah this. I wouldn't want to spend much time with someone like that but if I had to I'd avoid feeding their drama.

If I was doing a masters in anything I'd tell anyone who listened, let alone anyone who asked .

She asked, you told her. Not pretentious in the slightest. Hope its going well!!

Not at all. You answered the question.

If someone is doing a PhD that's what they are doing.

If someone works for NASA that's where they work.

Etc.

If you strut in the door and say things like 'OH you have a hallway! There is a hallway in the uni I'm doing A MASTERS IN SOCIAL WORK IN' then that's different.

If someone asks what you do and you answer the goddamn question then that's fine. That's what you do.

I would just go back and say

Ok you jealous twat

Then not bother with him again

@ClariceQuiff

Your brother is a twat, and so is his girlfriend if she actually objected to this.

Agreed

This sort of inverse snobbery is really tedious.
I'd reply OK or just ignore his message, it's just nonsense.