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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Chippy tea

182 replies

feminarste · 12/02/2022 18:12

If your other half said, do you fancy some chip shop chips on the way home from work-both if you in the car.
You pull up and he goes in, you stay in the car as you've not got a coat and it's a wait outside situation.
He come out
Having bought you and his son chip but himself a massive cod and chips.
Would you be pissed?
It just feels like a proper reflection of how he views "us"
I said that's selfish and he said it was absent minded.

OP posts:
TeaRex49 · 12/02/2022 19:31

So you want a divorce, he tells you to fuck off then… and here you are still bickering about chips like things are gona change. Just get that divorce and find someone who thinks of you aswell as themselves OP. Why waste your life with someone you don’t want to be with.

Original poster
feminarste · 12/02/2022 19:34

Thankyou for the perspective all
It's not about fish is it-
Thankyou

OP posts:
Anklebiter999 · 12/02/2022 19:34

[quote Casheeeew]@Anklebiter - I think they were provoked by PP twatty comment, can't remember who's....[/quote]
Whose or who's...
your comment would be more effective if were you were able to differentiate between them and then use appropriately

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2022 19:38

I don't know anyone who would do this. What a twat.

If he was planning to get fish for himself, he should have made that clear at the start.

If he was just tempted while in there, he gets for everyone or else he shares.

I honestly don't know why anyone would defend this, it's really selfish behaviour.

Goitalone2022 · 12/02/2022 19:42

@Anklebiter999 I don’t think anyone was confused by that message.

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 12/02/2022 19:44

If you're at the point of asking for a divorce, it's probably best to post in Relationships, OP. Posting in AIBU under 'Chippy Tea' isn't going to get you, for the most part, the answers you need.

SunshineOnKeith · 12/02/2022 19:45

@Anklebiter999 there's a specific topic for pedants - it would be considerate of you to head over there rather than persist in derailing the thread with petty pedantry. The OP is posting about a horrible relationship issue. Could you not be a little bit more sensitive?

@feminarste it sounds like this is a 'last straw' issue. I assume there's a lot more to this than just fish and chips ?

Anklebiter999 · 12/02/2022 19:48

[quote Goitalone2022]@Anklebiter999 I don’t think anyone was confused by that message.[/quote]
Who mentioned being confused? If you are going to be sarcastic or rude, at least get your grammar and/or spelling correct for maximum effect.

Monmon28 · 12/02/2022 19:50

@PurpleDaisies

I can’t imagine dh not asking what I wanted.
Same, he'd ask me before he went in. Or if he didn't he'd probably buy a large chips and a large fish to share. He'd never buy himself a 'premium' item and just get me chips. Seems very selfish tbf
Casheeeew · 12/02/2022 19:51

Poor you. You only get one life, try and enjoy it.

Casheeeew · 12/02/2022 19:54

Quote fail - that wasn't to you OP

But I do hope you find happiness

Goitalone2022 · 12/02/2022 19:58

@Anklebiter999 you sound like lots of fun!

Anklebiter999 · 12/02/2022 19:58

[quote SunshineOnKeith]@Anklebiter999 there's a specific topic for pedants - it would be considerate of you to head over there rather than persist in derailing the thread with petty pedantry. The OP is posting about a horrible relationship issue. Could you not be a little bit more sensitive?

@feminarste it sounds like this is a 'last straw' issue. I assume there's a lot more to this than just fish and chips ? [/quote]
I rather think that you are being disingenuous @sunshineonKeith. Plenty of MNers take a topic in different directions to that of OP on AIBU. Would you rather I cut and pasted the OP topic to the pedant thread just so posters there could discuss the use of 'pissed' in UK English?
You state that I should be more considerate; I suggest
it would be more 'considerate' if some posters cease catastrophising ('this is not just chips is it' 'head for divorce' for example)

PinkSyCo · 12/02/2022 20:01

Absent mindedness my arse. You can’t forget to get order something extra for someone whilst ordering it for yourself. He is a selfish twat who thinks his own sustenance is more important than yours and, worse, his own child’s! I’d be fuming.

Anklebiter999 · 12/02/2022 20:04

[quote Goitalone2022]@Anklebiter999 you sound like lots of fun![/quote]
You'd be surprised!
But if the people on MN are happy with falling standards in grammar, punctuation and English language, then knock yourselves out. I won't apologise for having an opinion contrary to others

AdmiralJaneway · 12/02/2022 20:06

This sounds very similar to my parents before they split. DF offered DM egg and chips and she said yes please - he came back from the kitchen with egg and chips for DM but a massive plate of extras for himself. DM would have been more than happy with her plateful if that’s what he had too. But going the extra yard just for himself without offering was just very selfish and was just symptomatic of their relationship by that point.

Cas112 · 12/02/2022 20:07

You should have told him if you wanted something else as well

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2022 20:09

You should have told him if you wanted something else as well

Really? She was under the impression he was getting chips. For everyone.

If she knew he was getting more I'm sure she would have said, but she didn't know that.

It's very selfish behaviour

emuloc · 12/02/2022 20:14

@Cas112

You should have told him if you wanted something else as well
No point saying this. It would seem to be too hard to do for some reason.
saleorbouy · 12/02/2022 20:14

In our house it would go something like this.
"Do you fancy a chippy tea?"
"OK, sounds nice"
"What do you want?"
"F&C and son's order......"
"OK but I only have £15 so shall we share a fish"
"OK, no problem"

Your OH sounds a tad selfish TBH.

sotrueindeed · 12/02/2022 20:15

By God, I can't believe people are saying this is your fault! He suggested you both get chips, then got himself a big fat fish as well. Yes, it does show how he prioritises himself over you, OP

What sort of selfish bastard gets himself extra food but not his partner!

SunshineOnKeith · 12/02/2022 20:15

Anklebiter999
Clearly just a GF spoiling for an excuse to monopolise and derail the thread then 
Bizarre what some folk do for amusement.
The lack of tag is deliberate as you're clearly attention seeking Confused

sotrueindeed · 12/02/2022 20:20

@Fluenty

Really surprised by pp answers

If my friend offered me a glass of water and came back with a water for me and a wine for herself I’d be put out
The water was fine when that was the offer. But the situation has changed with the wine.
Of course I could’ve asked for a wine, but that’s hardly an argument. I also could’ve asked for a steak. But that’s not how interactions work.

It’s not a huge deal as an isolated incident but if the op feels like this is a reflection of how her dp sees her and his son, then I’m guessing it isn’t an isolated incident.

This!

How can people not see this!

XiCi · 12/02/2022 20:23

How can people not see this!
Either thick as fuck or just being goady

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 12/02/2022 20:24

@XiCi

How can people not see this! Either thick as fuck or just being goady
Exactly.

There are some slow-witted people on this thread….