Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

Chippy tea

182 replies

feminarste · 12/02/2022 18:12

If your other half said, do you fancy some chip shop chips on the way home from work-both if you in the car.
You pull up and he goes in, you stay in the car as you've not got a coat and it's a wait outside situation.
He come out
Having bought you and his son chip but himself a massive cod and chips.
Would you be pissed?
It just feels like a proper reflection of how he views "us"
I said that's selfish and he said it was absent minded.

OP posts:

chesirecat99 · 12/02/2022 19:11

@feminarste

Yes that's exactly how I feel. The rules changed but only for him As per really I did say could you imagine your dad offering g you mum a coffee and coming back with a sandwich just for him and not her and dh stomped off I want a divorce but when I mention it he just says well fuck off then. He's not the nicest But sometimes I wonder if-with this small stuff I'm just being a dick

No, you are not being a dick with the small stuff. The small stuff and his responses when you complain show his utter disdain for you.

Goitalone2022 · 12/02/2022 19:12

Selfish but I don’t think it’s something you can put on the divorce papers, I’m sure there’s lots of things you can put on there though.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/02/2022 19:13

MN speak for other half. But you knew that and were just being goady

Not goady @Anklebiter999 just sarcastically making a point.

TillyTopper · 12/02/2022 19:13

I think for someone to get themselves fish and chips but not ask their family what they'd like is pretty selfish tbh. If I was going to a takeaway for someone as well as myself I'd always ask - or make clear what I was having. I hope he shared!

XiCi · 12/02/2022 19:13

That is not good, no doubt. That is not what happened to the OP tough, he did ask her if she wanted chips. OP said yes, and that is what she got
She thought they were all just having chips though. If you then decide to treat yourself to extras you should treat everyone or at least ask if they also want fish. Surely that's not difficult to understand!

2catsandhappy · 12/02/2022 19:13

Is this the straw that breaks the camels back? The 1000th cut?
I would be really upset if my other half went into a chip shop to get the family chips and came out with the only fish for him.
Assuming this happened earlier op, how do you feel now?

Canaloha · 12/02/2022 19:13

Yes I'd be annoyed if DH did this, but he wouldn't. If you often pop in for just chips then I'd assume by do you want chippy chips to mean just that. If he changed his mind once in there (unlikely), he could have text you or bought something you both like- he sounds selfish and thoughtless.

Barney60 · 12/02/2022 19:14

inconsiderate, id be having half his fish.

haismfh · 12/02/2022 19:15

This is like countless other threads on Mumsnet. OP posts about a seemingly minor, innocuous incident. There's then a lengthy discussion about it with differing views.
It then turns out that the incident is just the tip of the iceberg and the relationship is on the rocks.
Here, too, the OP then posts an update saying "I want a divorce".

If you just look at the first post you'd think, ok, why didn't OP just say what she wanted or the DH was being a bit thoughtless. But it's actually indicative of very poor communication and what sounds like ongoing selfish behaviour by the 'D'H.

OP if you want to divorce him, do it. He sounds like a selfish prick who couldn't care less about his wife and child. Fucking getting a huge bit of fish while you two sit there with chips or then have to start cooking something to have with the chips.
He can fuck off.

Stressedout1009 · 12/02/2022 19:16

Yanbu, dh would have asked is chips all you want. Even if he did get a massive fish, he would share it with us anyway.

Anklebiter999 · 12/02/2022 19:17

@MrsTerryPratchett

MN speak for other half. But you knew that and were just being goady

Not goady @Anklebiter999 just sarcastically making a point.

And we know that sarcasm is lowest form of wit. Well done.

XiCi · 12/02/2022 19:17

Fucking getting a huge bit of fish while you two sit there with chips or then have to start cooking something to have with the chips. He can fuck off.
Exactly. What a monumental twat.

buckeejit · 12/02/2022 19:18

Inconsiderate. It's either through not thinking or thinking you're not worth the extra effort / to ask you, to order more, to pay more, whatever. I'd have to ask him when he decided to have fish too & if he thought at all about you when ordering & why didn't he check. Would definitely be splitting the fish if I or ds wanted any.

Does sound like he's got previous inconsiderate behaviour. Good luck

Casheeeew · 12/02/2022 19:18

@Anklebiter - I think they were provoked by PP twatty comment, can't remember who's....

TyrannosaurusRegina · 12/02/2022 19:20

I'd just stick my hand in and share the fish between the 2 of you.

XiCi · 12/02/2022 19:20

If my DH did this (and there is no way on earth that he would!) I would either go straight back out and get me & DS something nice from the takeaway or take DS out for a lovely meal and leave the arsehole at home.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 12/02/2022 19:21

No, my DH wouldn’t do this. YANBU to be pissed off.

As ever, when people post about a relationship issue, the ‘minor’ thing they’re posting about isn’t really what it’s actually about.

And reading people’s responses to the ‘minor’ issue - and dismissing it - is kinda 🙄

He doesn’t sound like a very nice man.

thethoughtfox · 12/02/2022 19:22

That isn't absent minded.

endlesssighing · 12/02/2022 19:22

How fucking bizarre.

Did he not ask what you wanted? He’d be splitting that fish three bloody ways.

AcrossthePond55 · 12/02/2022 19:22

Yeah, neither DH nor I would have done that. It's rude. If we'd gone in for chips and then thought "Hmm, I think I'd like fish too we would have either called or texted the other from inside and asked if they wanted more than just chips. Or we'd have gone back outside and asked before we ordered.

I think you need to take a hard look at the 'totality' of your relationship.

gogohm · 12/02/2022 19:25

Before going in, I would ask what each person wants.

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 12/02/2022 19:26

Just to add, OP - when you get the stage where you quite obviously don’t actually like your life partner, your relationship is dead in the water.

It isn’t just love that’s the basis for a happy, mutually satisfying long-term relationship. You have to actually like each other, to go the distance.

It really doesn’t sound as if he likes you. And I’m fairly certain you don’t like him. I mean … why would you?

Staffy1 · 12/02/2022 19:27

I hope you sent him back in to get two more cods.

TheGoogleMum · 12/02/2022 19:29

If he was intending to get cod for himself he should have said in case you wanted one too , especially as you said you do sometimes just he chips and use something room home for rest of meal. Does this mean you had to cook for just you and his son?

hotcrossbun99 · 12/02/2022 19:30

You can clearly see him for what he is and you want to get divorced...go and get divorced. You don't need his permission...start the process next week xx

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Swipe left for the next trending thread