Page 8 | … if you are married 20+ years do you still do valentines?

FastFashun · 2022-02-11T22:41:03+00:00

Just curious if it is something that people still do having been together a long time? On one level I understand it’s a marketing ploy. However, I do also take it as a reminder for me to be thankful for my kind and wonderful partner. Maybe that’s just me, because aware I’m not always the most thoughtful a lot of the time …

CandyFloss31 · 12/02/2022 18:01

(Together 21 years, married 13 btw!)

RestingStitchFace · 12/02/2022 18:14

Together 20+ years although married for all that.

We do cards, because it's nice to write something/ read something loving and sincere in a card. I've always hated roses on Valentine's Day because they are forced into bloom prematurely and always droop and die so quickly. Plus the price is crazy. We stopped doing romantic meals on Valentine's Day ages ago. Restaurants always want to turnover the tables so quickly on Valentine's Day, there's nothing special about it. We practically had our meal thrown at us one year. Bill was placed on the table as we were eating dessert! Screw that....

PurpleFadesToGreen · 12/02/2022 18:22

Only in the sense that we buy each a card.

Either the most sarcastic or most vomit inducing soppy one we can find.

We don't take it seriously.

Oh, yeah, together 27 years.

Keladrythesaviour · 12/02/2022 21:28

[quote Iwannabewherethepeopleare]@Keladrythesaviour you just said your DH had insisted on buying you a Valentines card, and then ‘it’s not our style’. It sounds like it’s his style? I was actually about to write, it doesn’t really matter if you celebrate these things or not as long as you’re both on the same page. What other couples do or don’t shouldn’t affect what you do! It’s when you read on here about people being upset that they’re the only one in their relationship that cares, and it hurts them - that’s the problem.[/quote]
No I think he felt he ought to so did, he's been told by some friends if a girl said "no don't buy me flowers" it really meant "buy me flowers". He realised quite quickly I'm very openly spoken and tell it as I mean it so he was happy to not do anything going forward.

CanadianJohn · 12/02/2022 21:39

I hand-make a card, my wife usually buys a card (though she forgot last year.) Sometimes flowers or chocolates.

Together for 45+ years.

The hard thing about making a card is finding an appropriate poem I haven't used before. However, my wife is 80, and becoming quite forgetful, so I could probably get away with using the same poem as last year.

caringcarer · 12/02/2022 21:43

18 years and I know DH will get me a card and flowers. He buys me flowers most weeks. We were planning a weekend break but DH has slipped on stairs and twisted his knee so hobbling about for 2 weeks now. He still brings me tea in bed every day though. I will get him a card and cook him his favourite meal. We usually eat out on Valentine's at the restaurant we had first date at but not with his bad knee.

Theimpossiblegirl · 12/02/2022 21:48

We went out for lunch and a nice walk today but might have done that anyway. We won't see each other Monday as DH is on nights and I leave at 7am. But we're good.

ginandbearit · 12/02/2022 21:52

I know one couple who've been married over thirty years , send each other the largest and most saccharine cards each year ..both sleeping with other people and neither knows it .

Dilbertian · 12/02/2022 22:18

I always hide a packet of chocolate hearts in dh's bag the night before, for him to find at work. He always gives me a card or a bouquet.

25y together.

listsandbudgets · 12/02/2022 22:31

We don’t but we never really did we show our feelings in other ways.

My aunt and uncle on the other hand met when they were both 18, married at 21 and were together until my uncle died at 79. He gave her a card or note every single year and she's kept the lot. They really were an amazing couple.

venusandmars · 12/02/2022 23:09

Always buy cards for each other - and go out of our way to get something appropriate (and usually funny and quirky) relating to our life / recent experience / hobbies.

Never go out to a restaurant but always make an effort at home. This year it's a cook at home meal from a restaurant. We'll start at lunchtime so it's relaxed (both retired).

Dh will buy me flowers (as he does most weeks). I'll pretend it's a lovley surprise.

MrsDThomas · 13/02/2022 08:36

We never have. Been together 25 years. What the hell for? Flowers marked up for a gimmick,

If someone loves you they could buy flowers or whatever for their own reason and timing, not when the calendar says Feb 14.

whitewashing · 13/02/2022 09:39

@MrsDThomas

We never have. Been together 25 years. What the hell for? Flowers marked up for a gimmick,

If someone loves you they could buy flowers or whatever for their own reason and timing, not when the calendar says Feb 14.

That’s true….but happily I don’t get flowers just once a year!

GnomeoAndPaulette · 13/02/2022 09:47

Yes, been married a lot longer than that and we always do but to be honest I don't think a day goes by without one of us telling the other how much we love and appreciate them

FiftyStoriesHigh · 13/02/2022 09:51

No, he doesn’t value it at all and doesn’t even understand cards. He usually does for me though because I kind of like that sort of stuff if I’m honest. Not much though.

PickledOnionSandwich · 13/02/2022 10:25

I think it’s sad when couples don’t do Valentine’s Day actually. Given that you can get cards for about 25p in card factory, what’s wrong with taking 5 minutes just to tell the person you love how much they mean to you? Yes, you should be telling them regularly, but there’s something nice about receiving a special card that someone has chosen for you.

Lindy2 · 13/02/2022 10:32

Yes we mark valentine's day, anniversaries etc. Nothing expensive but just something like a nice meal or take away and a bottle of fizz. We do cards, chocolates and flowers too.

We like little treats. It's nice.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 13/02/2022 10:54

We don’t really do cards/presents but always go out for a meal and the cinema or something, it’s about the only time we get out without the kids

TeaAndStrumpets · 13/02/2022 10:59

@PickledOnionSandwich

I think it’s sad when couples don’t do Valentine’s Day actually. Given that you can get cards for about 25p in card factory, what’s wrong with taking 5 minutes just to tell the person you love how much they mean to you? Yes, you should be telling them regularly, but there’s something nice about receiving a special card that someone has chosen for you.

Totally agree! Love is nothing to be embarrassed about, say it often and appreciate each other.

amiafreakofnature · 13/02/2022 11:05

Just cards and a small gift
He did book a table at a restaurant we love but who wants to go out on a Monday evening? Miserable but I said let's not bother.

amiafreakofnature · 13/02/2022 11:07

@PickledOnionSandwich

I think it’s sad when couples don’t do Valentine’s Day actually. Given that you can get cards for about 25p in card factory, what’s wrong with taking 5 minutes just to tell the person you love how much they mean to you? Yes, you should be telling them regularly, but there’s something nice about receiving a special card that someone has chosen for you.

But it only really benefits the card shops! It certainly doesn't make someone more loved or better treated generally

hanahsaunt · 13/02/2022 11:09

Any excuse for a fancier than usual dinner at home is taken especially through the winter so on that level yes.

DaisyDozyDee · 13/02/2022 11:15

We never have. I’ve always found it a bit weird to be honest. It’s the opposite of romantic.

MrsDThomas · 13/02/2022 11:21

@PickledOnionSandwich i dont feel sad. Im 47 and i know by husband loves me and i love him. Absolutely no reason for him to visit the card factory for a 25p card.

PainterMummy · 13/02/2022 11:34

Married 30+ years. Yes, we do. We don’t go out for dinner on valentines for about last 5 years because we were finding the menus were changed or just a set menu, the prices increased and they try to squeeze in too many tables leaving us feeling very squished, too close to other people that you feel you can’t have a private conversation. So we do cards, flowers/choccies and have a special meal at home. We’re doing our special meal tonight as we bought one of those kits that you cook at home so the cooking it is also part of the experience we do together. Plus a great bottle of wine to match the meal that would’ve been too expensive to buy in a restaurant