… if you are married 20+ years do you still do valentines?

[FastFashun]

Just curious if it is something that people still do having been together a long time? On one level I understand it’s a marketing ploy. However, I do also take it as a reminder for me to be thankful for my kind and wonderful partner. Maybe that’s just me, because aware I’m not always the most thoughtful a lot of the time …

Funny though as he always just checks with me…”are we still not doing cards?”

We don't do it either, but I do this with DH, just to make sure he hasn't suddenly gone off piste with what we normally - don't - do! 🤣🤣

Yes. Though we don't go out for a meal anymore, just grab a takeaway and have a nice bottle of wine.

We do cards still and small gift. This year, he has bought me a pink pussy willow and an outdoor pot for it, I saw it at the side of the house behind the bike store. Not sure what I'm going to get him but am (selfishly) tempted to get a spa voucher for two.

Married 24 years. We've never done Valentine's or any marketing nonsense days. We've put our money towards travel & paying house off. Both have created more memories & a better relationship (time travelling, no $ stress) than a bunch of dying flowers or jewellery I'll never wear.

@HeadNorth

Together 30 years, married 28. Of course I get flowers, chocs and a card on valentines. I bake him a cake. Last year we bought each other practically the same card. We love each other.

So if a couple don't do Valentine's Day they clearly don't love each other

And I thought it was just kids and young teenagers who were so impressionable to corporate marketing!

@BeBraveAndBeKind

No. We've been together 26 years and married for 22 years. I don't need a card and flowers on a particular day of the year to know he loves and appreciates me. He shows me everyday.

This -absolutely.

Valentines is nonsense, just a marketing ploy.

Married 30+ years, we get a Waitrose Valentine's meal deal and exchange cards .... but don't get sloppy about it .

Yes. Like pp it’s also our wedding anniversary so we do make an effort. Dinner, nice bottle of wine, DH usually gets me flowers etc.

No one of the few things we don’t celebrate. We used to buy cards but stopped all cards a few years ago for birthdays, anniversary etc.

Valentines has changed when I was a child / teen it was all about sending an anonymous Valentine’s card not really your long term partner.

Married 21 years this year, together for 30 years this year. We do a card and a little present, maybe a nice meal (although never a meal out on Valentine’s Day!) That said I’ve not actually bought any sort of card or present yet…

Nope. Been together 40 years.

We met when we were teenagers, and at first we did the boyfriend/girlfriend ones, then fiancé/fiancée ones, and then husband/wife, as they were all a novelty for us. Didn't bother after the 3rd or 4th year of marriage.

My NDNs on one side are in their 70s and every year we still see Valentine cards on the windowsill, which I think is really sweet, but I wouldn't want it for myself, if you see what I mean?

No, but we aren't in love.

I wondered why you'd started this thread OP, until I checked the date.

I couldn't care less personally (together 22 years) but DH usually brings me flowers. Perhaps I should make an effort this year. Like cooking dinner AND dessert

Yeah, we get each other a card, I get a bunch of daffodils (my favourite flowers, don't like roses) and there's a fancy box of chocolates from the local patisserie (because any excuse will do). We don't go out for dinner but have something nice at home. The DC use to mahe cards for us when they were little which was sweet. I quite like marking all the different events round the year.

Married 25 years. We still do cards but that's it. We stopped going out for dinner as we got fed up with overpriced set menus and tacky plastic heart decorations (and the gooey eyed couple who sat next to us once and kept exchanging slurpy kisses between every course). It'll be dinner at home and we might open one of the bottles of fizz that I got for Xmas.

We tried it a few times, didn't get the appeal. Will definitely not be doing this year.

We do a card...and usually get a supermarket valentines meal offer...got Tesco one yesterday !

We met on Valentine’s many years ago and, yes, we do cards and gifts every year.

Was never really a thing for us at 20 years plus, but it certainly is considered a special event for some good friends of mine, whatever works for them is good, doesn’t bother me.

It’s certainly a big marketing thing. Also there is a bit of that weird “steak and bj” vibe too (We are vegetarian and bj not limited to day of year).

It’s certainly a thing with our younger teens, where they’ve done secret valentine cards, etc.

My husband and I don’t bother. Not because we look down on it or think it’s nonsense - it is what it is and if people want to celebrate it then good for them!

We’re just inherently lazy and can’t be bothered 😄

Only 19 years here but yes still do valentines.
Nothing dramatic, just a card and a token gift usually.

Both have created more memories & a better relationship (time travelling, no $ stress)

Time travelling ? Like in the Tardis ?

By the tone of your post, it obviously makes you very happy.

We shouldn't need birthdays, Mother's day, anniversaires or any of this to show people you care, but sometimes life gets in the way and it's good to have a time to reflect. So, if people enjoy it then fire on I say, it doesn't hurt anyone.

I say that as someone who doesn't celebrate any of these (except birthdays), I certainly won't poo on someone else's parade.

Amusing card and chocolates is all we do. We frequently get each other our favourite chocolates for random reasons throughout the year so it's just a normal thing we do anyway, valentines is just another excuse.

No