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Original poster

Tinder Swindler - victims should accept some accountability

343 replies

sometimespeopletakethepiss · 11/02/2022 21:03

I can completely understand how these ladies could have fell for this guy BUT what I don't understand is the lack of accountability for their poor judgement.

In my life I would never, ever lend money to anyone unless it is money I could afford to lose - and if I did I feel like I'd have to own it as my own poor judgement.

AIBU to think the ladies should repay the money themselves or declare bankruptcy, not setup a 'go fund me' page and take it as a lesson learned?

OP posts:
Bortles · 15/02/2022 10:54

I think one of the reasons they gave him money was thinking they were saving him from his enemies wasnt it? I think that was the element that made them hand it over, the idea he was scared and in danger?

Trippingslippingx1 · 15/02/2022 11:13

Come to think of it in my dating days I have met guys who have tried to con me - under the guise of ‘love’.

I remember one I went on a date and he told me a sob story about his ex had got him into debt and apparently used his name for this, that and the other. I told him should he be busy reporting these debts to the police instead of being on dating apps. The rage in his eyes. 😂 He was definately a chancer who if met a woman naive and vulnearable would have been able to rinse her as per above cases.

DrSbaitso · 15/02/2022 11:27

@Diqgeneration

I know plenty of attractive, successful women with men I cannot believe they are with. Married, using them for money, horrible to them etc. There seem to be more single women than men, women tend to want monogamous relationships whereas men sometimes prefer flings, some don’t have the time to invest in relationships so “settle”. So, I disagree that if he was skint this wouldn’t have happened. He might have met poorer, less attractive women and scammed less money but as an averagely attractive male - he still would have met a few.
I agree. It would have happened, it just would have happened to different women. And they wouldn't have been merely stupid or greedy either. It's such an oversimplification.
DottyHarmer · 15/02/2022 11:43

It’s not that they aren’t victims but, as the OP says, it seems reasonable that they should accept some accountability.

These cases were not the same at all as falling for a stingy or useless git, who is generally on a par with you; these were people being wilfully blind in the hope that a Prince Charming (well, he wasn’t too charming, really, so more of a Prince Moneybags) was going to give you a fantastic lifestyle.

The TS was a total con artist but apart from his angry rants when the money dried up he was not abusive. I know someone who married a banker after he had knocked her front teeth out. Beggars belief but he was minted.

DrSbaitso · 15/02/2022 12:01

I know someone who married a bankerafterhe had knocked her front teeth out. Beggars belief but he was minted.

You think she stayed with him because she did a level-headed cost/benefit analysis?

DottyHarmer · 15/02/2022 12:31

Yes, she was even quite pleased when he paid for ££££ dental implants. I don’t know what happened to this couple; they were not from UK.

Gardeningcreature · 15/02/2022 12:53

Yes thinking about this there are plenty of men like this but on a much smaller scale. My ex bil met sil she has a nice house and car with a good career. He married her they used her money to buy a bigger house. He ended up driving a very nice car whilst she drove a dump, he got a good payout from the house sale when she divorced him.
He has since remarried and has asked relatives to send money over for visas etc. so far they have sent him more than £2000.
Before all this he came to live in our house after his first marriage ended.
I think it’s just the same thing but on a much bigger scale.

Trippingslippingx1 · 15/02/2022 13:06

@Gardeningcreature

Yes thinking about this there are plenty of men like this but on a much smaller scale. My ex bil met sil she has a nice house and car with a good career. He married her they used her money to buy a bigger house. He ended up driving a very nice car whilst she drove a dump, he got a good payout from the house sale when she divorced him. He has since remarried and has asked relatives to send money over for visas etc. so far they have sent him more than £2000. Before all this he came to live in our house after his first marriage ended. I think it’s just the same thing but on a much bigger scale.
This is an example of several stories I have known socially past few years. They are all still together at present (the 1st one bought the house ‘with him’ after knowing him for 9 months - I.E she paid the deposit and more of the mortgage etc) so with the fullness of time we shall see how they unfold. My life expierence and cynism sadly sees it ending fairly obviously though.
DrSbaitso · 15/02/2022 14:01

@DottyHarmer

Yes, she was even quite pleased when he paid for ££££ dental implants. I don’t know what happened to this couple; they were not from UK.
The fact that she was pleased he paid for dental implants for the teeth he knocked out is pretty much proof that there was something far more sinister going on than her making a business decision.
user1471447863 · 16/02/2022 00:13

@Trippingslippingx1

Come to think of it in my dating days I have met guys who have tried to con me - under the guise of ‘love’.

I remember one I went on a date and he told me a sob story about his ex had got him into debt and apparently used his name for this, that and the other. I told him should he be busy reporting these debts to the police instead of being on dating apps. The rage in his eyes. 😂 He was definately a chancer who if met a woman naive and vulnearable would have been able to rinse her as per above cases.

Exactly - when a new romantic interest is coming out with the sob story of baddies coming after him and needs money from you to deal with it, the answer should be that 999 is the only number he needs and you wish him well and hope not to see him in the paper as the 'deceased' but you are out - and the burner simcard is in the bin asap.
Trippingslippingx1 · 16/02/2022 09:17

@user1471447863 Yep. Total creep. And I know many woman who have fallen for it. ‘My EX got my in debt’. And they do not question it at all.

HarreePotter · 17/02/2022 02:59

Swindled has a brilliant podcast on this dude.

georgarina · 17/02/2022 04:27

@DottyHarmer

Yes, she was even quite pleased when he paid for ££££ dental implants. I don’t know what happened to this couple; they were not from UK.
Clearly she wasn't in an abusive relationship where norms were twisted and she was coping by seeing this gesture as positive.

Just a stupid bankers wife eh?

Calcul · 17/02/2022 10:20

This Shimon guy has signed with an agent, is planning a book, a film and a dating show with himself as the prize! How about paying some of his victims back instead of enjoying celebrity status?

Calcul · 17/02/2022 10:21

I’ve had randoms on FB and Insta chat to me then test the waters to see if they could scam me. Instant block.

KeeG8181 · 18/02/2022 02:36

I'd love for him to have met me on tinder, flew me here there and everywhere then once he needed money for his enemies he gets a swift block and a screenshot of my 63 out of 1000 credit score.

I'm an ex of a financial abuser, it is HELL. there's always reasons why they need it, they promise on everything they'll pay you back, once you give them what they want they start giving you the love they did originally. it ruined my life, whereas I think I was stupid and I could KICK myself now, I don't think I'm responsible for my abuse. I'm responsible for being so blindsided my by scumbag ex that I didn't seek help v

merrymelodies · 21/02/2022 04:38

I just finished watching this and my impression was that these two Scandinavian women were NOT gold diggers. They both had (have?) well-paid jobs - how else would they have been able to secure the loans they took out - and he preyed on them because of their "comfortable" lifestyles. He wouldn't have agreed to date them if they had nothing to give him. They believed they were in love with him, they believed him when he told them his life was in danger and that he needed money immediately. That was the hook.
Personally, I didn't find him the least bit attractive. He looks as shady as hell. Charismatic? Maybe. Netflix edited? Obviously.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 21/02/2022 08:34

He’s now saying it’s a film and not a documentary but was made to look like a documentary… and his current girlfriend is choosing to believe him !!

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