AIBU to think DP should contribute more?

[BikeMadMummyOf3]

AIBU here, pls tell me if I am. DP works 5 days a week as do I. We both have 'decent' paying jobs and live together. We have 4DC (I should change my name on here now LOL). I pay all the rent the council tax and 99% of the bills myself. He contributes £200 PM. I do majority of the cleaning ALL of the cooking and everything else. DP doesnt see an issue with this and told me I'm being selfish and 'money grabbing' to ask for more of a financial contribution to the house. Hes now got me feeling like I ABU and guilty for even asking in the first place. AIBU?

Can I come live with you for £200 a month and have the house cleaned for me

I’d be expecting £200 a month as board from an adult child living at home not from a DP?!

Can I come live with you for £200 a month and have the house cleaned for me

Me too! Couldn’t get a hotel cheaper - I’ll bring the kids with me - im sure you won’t mind.

My god I'd love to spend £50 a week on rent, food, bills and my children being raised. If it weren't for the realisation that I'd be enriching myself at the financial and emotional expense of my partner.

He's a prick!!!!

He is taking the complete piss. My DS pays me more than that and he sorts out his own food!

50% your DNA 50% his for your children therefore he should contribute financially 50% too!

Who the hell are the 13 people who think you’re unreasonable?

He is treating you like living with his parents when he was younger! He should be paying half of everything. On a plus at least you know you can live on your own if you choose to go that root.

I'm really shocked by this. Of course he doesn't have a problem with it, he's having his cake and eating it, and you get to pay for it for him. He is proper, LTB level, taking the piss out of you.

Who the hell are the 13 people who think you’re unreasonable?

I'm one of them because I think the OP is an absolute idiot for putting up with this (if this thread is actually real, I'm starting to have my doubts).

WTF have I just read?

Sincerely hoping this isn't real

Show him the door then change the locks. NOW

You'd save more than £200 if he wasn't there - 25% off council tax, food, cooking, cleaning, washing for him.

It would be a big pay up and do a lot more or move out from me.
And I'm not sure if I'd even give Jim the option - he's watched you take the financial, emotional & physical strain for Ll these years and not stepped up? that! Off you go mate.

He pays up or he packs up.

You’re financially effectively a single parent anyway. I’d have thought you’d get more maintenance than 200 a month for 4 kids.

And he said you are a money grabber???

if you're working a similar amount and earning a similar amount then he should be paying for half of everything, doing half of the house work, half of the parenting, half of the cooking, half of everything.

I'd say he's acting like he thinks he still lives with his parents but I was paying more than double that when I was living with my parents in my late teens/early 20s, and doing my share of everything round the house!

If you split up, CSA would probably tell him to pay you more than £200 per month.

What are you getting out of this relationship?

I hope he's at least dynamite in bed or something.

You are very grabby OP, he should pay for nothing and do nothing apart from having sex and procreating, that is his right as a man you know.

Off he fucks then

I can never understand these threads. How are you even attracted to a man who has given you so many children but doesn’t pay for them? A tight man is the most unattractive thing. I could be infatuated but let a man even ask me for 20 pounds and I no longer want to see him. It’s so disgusting to me.

I feel like even if you stand up to him and he agrees to pay more, it’s still going to be nowhere near enough.

But you’re going to then feel grateful and if you ask him in the future for more, there’s no way he’ll give it.

You need to either be very forceful about this. Your joint money should pay for all the bills and groceries and you should have an equal amount of spending money. And housework needs to be shared obviously.

I don’t see this ever happening and I wouldn’t want to live with a man who cares so little about me. He brings nothing to the relationship and you’d be better off without him.

You’ve got to get some therapy or something for yourself so that you know when you’re being abused.

I can't believe this is real either, how had this man managed to convince you this is acceptable - how did the agreement come about and what does he spend his income on?

@BikeMadMummyOf3

We have triplets and a single birth child. I've had 2 pregnancies. However that's not the point. Things werent always this way as at first we was both claiming benefits as a couple. When DT's started nursery he started working full time and me part time. Eventually I started full time too. We are both in jobs we love and earn roughly the same amount give or take £50. Our benefits were originally cut before stopping completely after us both working. He spends his money on crap! He will look after DC if I ask but I would usually come home and have to do things like cook clean etc. If he is looking after DC for the day, lunch consists of takeaway because he wont cook. Since posting this I have thought about what I'm going to say to him when he comes back later. I have nobody around here as I am in a city I'm not from and have no family here so feel like he is all I have but watch this space as I will be back to let you know how I get on!

Excellent. Sounds like he is your fifth child. You have enough to do rather than taking care of a fifth child. You would probably be wealthier anyways as you are clearly more money savvy.

This has to be a joke. No relationship could be this fucked up.