AIBU to think DP should contribute more?

[BikeMadMummyOf3]

AIBU here, pls tell me if I am. DP works 5 days a week as do I. We both have 'decent' paying jobs and live together. We have 4DC (I should change my name on here now LOL). I pay all the rent the council tax and 99% of the bills myself. He contributes £200 PM. I do majority of the cleaning ALL of the cooking and everything else. DP doesnt see an issue with this and told me I'm being selfish and 'money grabbing' to ask for more of a financial contribution to the house. Hes now got me feeling like I ABU and guilty for even asking in the first place. AIBU?

Jesus christ, you have the cocklodger of all cocklodgers. He's absolutely the worst case of cocklodging I've come across on here. And you have four kids with him?

You would be financially better off getting rid.

I don't believe this is real.

It can't be.

Why isn’t it all 50/50 for the household bills. Fair enough not exact split on other things but that seems totally unfair!

Wtaf?!

If the costs for running the home and paying for the kids were only £400 then I guess I could get on board with that.

But clearly they aren’t, you are being taken for a ride.

You could ask him to at least pay what he would owe you in CM if you were separated. With 4 dcs it will be more than the £200 he is currently contributing.

Ahhhh.

Triplets.

I can’t imagine how you have ended up in this situation?!

What. The. Fuck.

‘He is all I have’? He is nothing though. The only contribution he has made is sperm, and a disgraceful example to your kids.
He’s just a boyfriend, so easy enough to remove him from the property you rent and he can parent the kids he made 50% of the time, or pay you to raise them for him.

It’s mind blowing that you have allowed this farce so far.

If you both earn a similar amount you should be splitting costs 50:50 now. Why can't he see that?

I think the technical term, learned from Mumsnet, is "cocklodger". You are being taken for a fool. I would get rid asap.

He hS 4 children and contributes £50 a week in total?

You are being financially abused by a lazy, selfish, waster.

Pack up and move home to people who care for you.

i would split - he would be paying more in child maintenance and you would probably get financial help

I can not see any reason at all why you would not just split all the bills down the middle

this is how we operate

all monies go in joint account

leave enough in for all the bills and food and a pot for holiday car bills etc .
And in your case a separate account for spending on the children

Then we pay ourselves a set spending each month .

why is that not fair ?

Here's an idea, since he is so certain you are money grabbing, it's time to reverse the scenario. From now you will contribute £200 /month and he is responsible for everything else. All bills go into his name only. Same with household jobs, you take over just duties (nothing) and he takes over your (make sure he gets a comprehensive list). Perfect, all completely fair, right.

Although we all know this will never happen because these types of people know what they are doing. It's pure abuse.

People focusing solely on bills when OP has also said the boyfriend does not parent all these kids, or contribute in any way to functioning as an adult in a house.

Word of advice make sure you both contribute equally to the household When I was married all my wages ended up being used to cover utility, food, Kids stuff, my husband only paid a few bills and he was able to save most of his wages or buy whatever he fancied. When we divorced, I had to fight hard to get some of his savings divided between us as he was saying his saving had nothing to do with me, I provided solicitor with all our banks statements (his and mine)which were showing that my wages was 99 % going through the household and the kids and his were more saving/leisure so at the end I ended getting half of his saving but took me over 6 months

He is a CF.

Financially and practically.

Set up a joint account. Both you and him put all your money in there bar £200 each (pocket money). Everything for the familly - food, bills, clothes etc comes out of the joint account.

Also you ensure he is pulling his weight with childcare and housework.

As others have said, he does sound like a cocklodger

Yes he is a C L as they say on MN. How did you ever get to this situation? Outrageous! His money should ALL go into the family joint account. What is he playing at? Can't believe it really!

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea

Here's an idea, since he is so certain you are money grabbing, it's time to reverse the scenario. From now you will contribute £200 /month and he is responsible for everything else. All bills go into his name only. Same with household jobs, you take over just duties (nothing) and he takes over your (make sure he gets a comprehensive list). Perfect, all completely fair, right.

Although we all know this will never happen because these types of people know what they are doing. It's pure abuse.

Love this idea!!

'Can you contribute more?'
'No, stop being money grabbing and selfish'
'No problem, let's swap roles then. You do what I do and contribute, I'll do yours.'

@BikeMadMummyOf3 how much do you both earn per month net?

It sounds as if you would be financially much better off without him, you'd save 25% council tax and get CMS. You'd also have one less person to clean up after, and if he wanted contact with the children you'd get a bit of time off. I'd boot his money grabbing selfish arse out the door

Op, I originally thought your post was a satirical post designed to illustrate how ridiculous posters sound when they come on here and ask if the financial splits are fair when they so clearly aren’t. This man isn’t even covering the cost of having himself living in the home with that contribution. He isn’t covering his own food, toiletries, cleaning supplies, utilities, or wear and tear on the home. He certainly isn’t contributing to rent or the expenses of raising the children.

This can't be true!

So basically he's the 5th child paying you £200 p/m rent? Send him back to his mum.