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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
trendytoddler · 09/02/2022 18:25

Yes everyone who comes over takes of shoes. We have a porch with a shoe stand and no shoes come in the house. I can’t stand dirty shoes on floors inside no matter how clean someone might say they are.

Most people who come over know they have to take shoes off and do without me saying anything. But I would just simply ask to take off.

Ejk1990 · 09/02/2022 18:28

Yep all my visitors do without asking. My in laws bring their slippers and I do the same at theirs. Even with laminate, I think its rude to keep footwear on. Anything could be on your shoes.

Chely · 09/02/2022 18:30

We do not request it because we have hard floors downstairs that are easy to clean. The dog probably brings in more germs than occasional visitors anyway.
We always ask if they would like us to take shoes off when we visit people for the 1st time, after that just do the same at next visit.

StoneofDestiny · 09/02/2022 18:30

Yes - without asking.

Wilkolampshade · 09/02/2022 18:32

Nope. And no one has ever asked.

kitcat15 · 09/02/2022 18:33

We have hard floors all through downstairs....I sweep and mop daily....no one takes their shoes off....nor is there any expectation to do this

weleasewoderick23 · 09/02/2022 18:33

Not this again! I'll never understand the fuss. I leave my shoes on all day till I go to bed, and I don't know anyone who insists on it.

FlickyCrumble · 09/02/2022 18:33

Yes and I tell people. Shoes please! If they don’t like it they stay at the door.

Chely · 09/02/2022 18:34

Oh we added in a rug so our baby can learn to cruise easier, just hoover and spray with dettol antibacterial. I put her play mat on it for tummy time as I know that I can keep that clean. A few germs will not harm her though, she'll probably try chewing the dogs toys at some point when she's mobile.

Blossomtoes · 09/02/2022 18:34

I ask my visitors to leave their shoes on. I hate my little hall cluttered up with shoes.

GreenLunchBox · 09/02/2022 18:35

Shoes on in the house is disgusting, especially if you have a little one crawling about. YADNBU

CharacterForming · 09/02/2022 18:35

We have hard floors downstairs and carpet upstairs - we, and visitors, normally take shoes off to go upstairs but leave them on downstairs. It would be staggeringly unlucky for a cat to catch something off something brought in on a visitor's shoes, surely.

ThatsAllFolks · 09/02/2022 18:35

Yes, hate shoes in house. Just say, ' can u take ur shoes off please'. They can do it standing up. Baby will be crawling on who knows what soon. There is just no need for it. After a bit, it becomes second nature to say.

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 09/02/2022 18:36

No. We are a carpet free house.

bandek · 09/02/2022 18:36

Hate shoes indoors. It's so rude to trample around someone's house with shoes on- if you're unsure, ASK.

No shoes here.

bandek · 09/02/2022 18:37

Also have wood floors. My time is more important than cleaning mud and dirt off the floor after others, especially on rugs🙄

sst1234 · 09/02/2022 18:38

Absolutely. Shoes inside the house is disgusting and no one should be surprised to need to take them off when visiting others.

Soffit · 09/02/2022 18:40

I only recently started asking this. I wish I had done it since forever. I don't want to clean up after every visit. It's no a big thing to ask. I probably wasn't assertive enough to ask when I was younger. In the covid area, it should be the default. Th

CraftyGin · 09/02/2022 18:40

We are a 'shoes on' family.

I find it really inhospitable to ask people to remove their shoes, and hope they haven't stepped in dog turd.

I have a Hoover...

guffaux · 09/02/2022 18:40

we have waxed oak floors throughout the ground floor, with good rugs in the sitting room - also a fabric sofa with low floor clearance - a visiting relative rubbed the backs of his freshly dubbed boots on the sofa leaving horrible greasy marks, and whatever sand/grit that was in the cleats of his boots ground into the rug- we've since discussed asking people to remove their shoes when they visit but just dont know how to broach it

when we had visitors who brought (lovely, and very welcome) dogs, we swapped the rugs for a jute one currently used in dp's studio, and draped a towel (same colour, specially bought! and not obvious unless you look for it) tucked beneath the sofa cushions and then tucked under the frame which worked- but what a palaver!

MeanderingGently · 09/02/2022 18:43

I always take my shoes off at other people's and I expect others to do the same at mine. If they don't, I ask them to before they can get past me and into the house. I think shoes which have been outside in the streets are filthy and no way do I want that in my house.

Having lived in Scandinavian countries for a while, this is normal...certainly in Norway and Iceland etc. In Iceland, shoes are left at the door even for schoolchildren in school, or a visit to the gym or swimming baths and so on. And if you go really far north to Svalbard, you will take your shoes off before entering anywhere, even a cafe or the pub. Shoes and boots are lined up at the door and everyone is in the pub in socks! Out there, most establishments have a sign "Guns and shoes left at the door" and it's quite normal to see both at entrance porches!

elfycat · 09/02/2022 18:44

No.

The downstairs is tiles except for one room. This was deliberate so that people don't feel they have to plus as I'm a slattern they are often in need of a mop... you wouldn't want to dirty your nice clean socks

RedCandyApple · 09/02/2022 18:46

No and I’ve never had any one come to my house and ask if they should take their shoes off. Not been to anyone’s house who has asked me to either.

Shodan · 09/02/2022 18:47

Nope.

I never ask people to take their shoes off- and I would consider it shockingly bad manners to demand that they do or 'no entry'. Very mimsy.

If people ask if they should take their shoes off I tell them that if they're more comfortable doing so, then of course, but there's no requirement to.

LittleMissMoggy · 09/02/2022 18:48

I find the idea of keeping shoes on bizarre. Shoes are dirty, why can't people just wear socks or slippers? I don't even have to ask, everyone I know just takes them off.

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