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AIBU?

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Original poster

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
LittleMG · 09/02/2022 19:13

I think It’s a judgement on your house if people think it’s a nice house they take their shoes off. I don’t ask but I silently judge.

5128gap · 09/02/2022 19:13

No I don't ask people to do this. I was brought up to think it was rude and unwelcoming. I have easy clean floors so it's not an issue. If someone asked me I wouldn't have a problem but I'd think they were a bit fussy and overly house proud, so wouldn't really be relaxed in their home. Tbh if you're very concerned about your child, keeping a out is probably more of a hygiene risk.

5128gap · 09/02/2022 19:14

Keeping a pet

Seafog · 09/02/2022 19:15

Yes, there is a laminate floor in the entry area, then everything is cream carpet.
I have a wooden blanket box by the door, so you can sit on it to take off footwear, and has storage inside.

Qwill · 09/02/2022 19:18

Definitely shoes off! I don’t know anyone who has a ‘shoes on’ household. Apart from the dirt, I just find it really uncomfortable so sit around in my shoes. As soon as I get in, shoes off, bra off, then I can relax!!

yungnsexy · 09/02/2022 19:19

@5128gap

No I don't ask people to do this. I was brought up to think it was rude and unwelcoming. I have easy clean floors so it's not an issue. If someone asked me I wouldn't have a problem but I'd think they were a bit fussy and overly house proud, so wouldn't really be relaxed in their home. Tbh if you're very concerned about your child, keeping a out is probably more of a hygiene risk.

It's a fairly high threshold before kids start suffering from lack of germ exposure, wayyy above not wearing dirty outdoor shoes inside

FoggySpecs · 09/02/2022 19:19

I really don't care, our house is freezing cold and rather filthy. Although cutlery and crockery, bedding, towels and loos are pristine and I'm hot in handwashing, other dirt is fine. Obviously if the cat does a poo inside I clean up - she is ancient so it's forgivable. My children have always been very robust, I'm in favour of a few germs.

RoomOfRequirement · 09/02/2022 19:22

@5128gap

No I don't ask people to do this. I was brought up to think it was rude and unwelcoming. I have easy clean floors so it's not an issue. If someone asked me I wouldn't have a problem but I'd think they were a bit fussy and overly house proud, so wouldn't really be relaxed in their home. Tbh if you're very concerned about your child, keeping a out is probably more of a hygiene risk.
This.
5128gap · 09/02/2022 19:22

I meant to say keeping a pet is a higher hygiene risk.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 09/02/2022 19:24

I never ask people to do this.

We take our shoes off but it doesn't bother me if other people keep theirs on. We vacuum/sweep daily as we have pets so it makes no difference, really.

AutomaticMoon · 09/02/2022 19:26

@guffaux

we have waxed oak floors throughout the ground floor, with good rugs in the sitting room - also a fabric sofa with low floor clearance - a visiting relative rubbed the backs of his freshly dubbed boots on the sofa leaving horrible greasy marks, and whatever sand/grit that was in the cleats of his boots ground into the rug- we've since discussed asking people to remove their shoes when they visit but just dont know how to broach it

when we had visitors who brought (lovely, and very welcome) dogs, we swapped the rugs for a jute one currently used in dp's studio, and draped a towel (same colour, specially bought! and not obvious unless you look for it) tucked beneath the sofa cushions and then tucked under the frame which worked- but what a palaver!

Just buy some cheapy (or not, depending on your budget) slippers in s, m, l, keep near door and redirect visitors to use the comfy slippers, you could tell them it’s a hygiene concern if they ask why but I doubt many would decline such a reasonable request.
DragonMovie · 09/02/2022 19:26

@Blossomtoes shoes definitely do damage carpets. I came from a shoes on household as a child but have been converted to a shoes off on carpets house now. The difference in carpet cleanliness and bounciness is dramatic.

Also there’s no way socks are as dirty as shoes to respond to another poster’s point… human sweat is nowhere near as gross as spit, spilt drinks, bird poo, pollution dust, mud and all the other things that will be on the bottom of shoes. Feet get washed by most people daily - the street/your shoes don’t.

Bosephine · 09/02/2022 19:26

@Shodan

Nope.

I never ask people to take their shoes off- and I would consider it shockingly bad manners to demand that they do or 'no entry'. Very mimsy.

If people ask if they should take their shoes off I tell them that if they're more comfortable doing so, then of course, but there's no requirement to.

This. I find people taking shoes off really odd, to be honest, unless they’ve just been for a muddy walk or something.
AuntyJanet · 09/02/2022 19:27

Depends on the household.

My mother in law is from a posh background and she’s of the view that asking people to take of their shoes is rude and isn’t good etiquette.

Dacquoise · 09/02/2022 19:28

I always ask if people would like me to remove my shoes. Not a big deal to me, just manners. I find people who come to mine usually ask the same but I'm not bothered as I have dogs and wooden floors so impossible to keep the floors as clean as I would like. I do cringe when I see white or cream carpets as it must be a constant headache to keep pristine.

Kite22 · 09/02/2022 19:29

Ooh, we've not had this thread for a while.....

No, I don't ask people, let alone 'demand' people take their shoes off.
I would consider it really rude and unwelcoming.

However, we are all different, and I do offer to do so when I visit other people if I see they are in their sock or slippers. I am well aware than not everyone finds it very easy to take their shoes off and put them on again though, so even if we did live in a shoes off household, I wouldn't make everyone else take them off.

AutomaticMoon · 09/02/2022 19:29

Oh yeah! I completely forgot about shoe covers, we use them in care homes too!

Original poster
PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 19:29

Thank you for the comments. Wasn't expecting this to be such a dividing topic.

I obviously don't want to be rude or unwelcoming to any of our guests, especially family as want them to feel welcome and want to see their grandchild and be a big part of his life so that's why I've been worrying about it and asked on here. I have been trying to think of ways to make it less of an issue, so could take the rugs up every time they visit so it's easy to just clean the floor, but then if they want to use the bathroom which is upstairs I wouldn't feel comfortable at that point to say shoes off and would rather it just be from the start. We have cream carpet up the stairs so they mark easily.

I'm also not germ adverse and won't be getting rid of our cats. We have an allotment that I've already taken little one to to do some work on and intend to make sure he spends time outside playing and to be around pets etc, but I do personally think shoes are for outside and socks or slippers are for inside.

OP posts:
Nowayoutonlydown · 09/02/2022 19:30

Not a fan of shoes in the house. FIL isn't allowed in the livingroom because he doesn't take his shoes off and traipsed oil in on the old carpet.

He can stay in the kitchen which is mopped when he leaves.

godmum56 · 09/02/2022 19:30

I wouldn't dream of asking visitors to remove their shoes. Dog is in and out of the garden all day so while the carpets are clean, they are nowhere near immaculate. My mate has cream carpets and an immaculate house and she would never dream of asking visitors to remove shoes although I do. I have been there when her family have arrived home and they keep their shoes on. I used to work in the community for the NHS doing rehab and for health and safety reasons, we had to refuse to remove shoes although we always made sure that the soles were clean.
I get that if people are staying overnight then they would bring slippers, although if its overnight after a party or dinner party, I wouldn't expect them to spoil the look of an outfit by taking their shoes off.

RincewindsHat · 09/02/2022 19:31

Shoes off house, only had one person get cross with me when I asked them to take their shoes off (tradesperson) and asked why I wanted him to take his shoes off when I have two dogs in the house.

He was invited to leave and not come back.

My house, my rules. I like to walk around with my shoes off and know the floors aren't filthy. I have a robo-vac who hoovers daily for me and I end up mopping most days though because of the dog hair and dust :)

godmum56 · 09/02/2022 19:31

@Dacquoise

I always ask if people would like me to remove my shoes. Not a big deal to me, just manners. I find people who come to mine usually ask the same but I'm not bothered as I have dogs and wooden floors so impossible to keep the floors as clean as I would like. I do cringe when I see white or cream carpets as it must be a constant headache to keep pristine.
yes this with pale carpets
Bambi7 · 09/02/2022 19:31

Shoes on in the house is disgusting. Just think about everything you walk on outside is coming into your house. Dogs poo and wee on pavement and pavements never get cleaned!

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 09/02/2022 19:32

Just buy some cheapy (or not, depending on your budget) slippers in s, m, l, keep near door and redirect visitors to use the comfy slippers, you could tell them it’s a hygiene concern if they ask why but I doubt many would decline such a reasonable request.

Why would you expect someone to share shoes with countless other people? Surely that's how things like veruccas and athletes foot are spread about?

Original poster
PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 19:33

Also want to say I would never demand someone take their shoes off or it to be they could only come in if they took their shoes off. I am also aware that for some people they are not able to easily take their shoes on and off and I may not be aware that they find this difficult and wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable having to explain this.

OP posts:
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