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Original poster

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
bandek · 09/02/2022 19:46

Anyone who think I'm rude for asking is fine not to come back!

Guests should be comfy... what's comfy about trainers indoors? Worst thing is when it's wet outside, just no!

tigerlilymochalatte · 09/02/2022 19:48

@5128gap

Its meant to be very WC to ask for shoes to be removed, on the basis that WC struggle more to buy things and so are more preoccupied with preserving them. Higher social classes don't care about material things as much as the comfort of their guests and they can afford to replace them. Plus a houseful of people in their socks looks a bit low rent. However, I couldn't be more WC and don't care less about shoes in my house, so make of that what you will
So its posh to have traces of mud, dog poo and squashed bugs on your carpet?! 😂

I'll stick with WC clean floors!

Satingreenshutters · 09/02/2022 19:49

I have never ever been asked to remove my shoes in anyone’s house. I think it is terribly rude to ask someone, I would rather stand on the doorstep and talk than take my shoes off, I wear little ballet pumps in summer so would have to walk around your house in my bare feet and I wear Doc’s in Winter which take an age to take on and off. Mental carry on!

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 09/02/2022 19:50

I think the stool is a good idea. Tell them that the baby will be crawling soon and you need to get to being a shoes off house again.

tearinghairout · 09/02/2022 19:50

Yes, we're shoes off. I go barefoot most of the time, or slippers if it's cold. Where I live, most people (but not all) automatically take their shoes off at other people's houses. I think you would anyway if your host was barefoot, surely?
Anyway, the ILs are shoes on, so we I had to train them that it is expected that they will take their shoes off, just like I trained DH years ago. They didn't like it, but tough, and now they wear socks. I find shoes so restricting - why on earth would you want to wear them when relaxing?

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 09/02/2022 19:50

I do remove when visiting friends etc, but my work in healthcare means for health and safety i cannot remove my shoes when in patients homes.

HoneyFlowers · 09/02/2022 19:52

In laws used to keep their shoes on and I had nursery all prepared just about to give birth and they walked dog s*hit shoes onto the brand new carpet in there. After that I just said "we have new carpet" and they now take shoes off.

HoneyFlowers · 09/02/2022 19:53

Another thing would be to say before they visit "don't forget to bring comfy slippers for indoors".

TatianaBis · 09/02/2022 19:53

@5128gap

Its meant to be very WC to ask for shoes to be removed, on the basis that WC struggle more to buy things and so are more preoccupied with preserving them. Higher social classes don't care about material things as much as the comfort of their guests and they can afford to replace them. Plus a houseful of people in their socks looks a bit low rent. However, I couldn't be more WC and don't care less about shoes in my house, so make of that what you will
I don't actually think it's a class thing - it's a prinky thing.

You can be prinky from any background.

tearinghairout · 09/02/2022 19:55

I find it really bizarre to go to the ILs house and they and the SILs are sitting watching TV all wearing their outdoor shoes. They have a very beautiful rug too. Weird.

PleasantBirthday · 09/02/2022 19:56

I don't care either way as long as guests are comfortable. However, if I went to a house where they made a big production about shoes and had animals inside, I think I would be very nonplussed.

5128gap · 09/02/2022 19:57

What is prinky, never heard that before?

merrymelodies · 09/02/2022 19:57

Yes. Always. It's a courtesy to me and my family.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 09/02/2022 20:00

I don't and have never been asked to.

I have all wood floors-no carpets at all so that does make things easier

I do find it interesting that there are soooo many threads about this-another MN thing I have never encountered in real life Confused

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 09/02/2022 20:02

They don't come into my house with shoes on. i don't care who they are. I have new carpets.
Last house I had again new carpets two "friends" who were staying the weekend ran in and out of the house with shoes on emptying the car of their stuff and left mud absolutely everywhere, up the stairs and all over the living room.
Simply no need as one could have done the car to doorstep and the other dorrstep to bedroom.
Their shoes were encrusted with mud, I was livid.
I'd been showing her a first edition rare book I'd got for my birthday as it was her interest also and when I came back from the kitchen she'd left her coffee cup on it leaving a ring on the cover that never came off taking £200 off the sale price.
I never spoke to them again.

Frezia · 09/02/2022 20:02

MIL takes her shoes off without being asked, FIL never did but then he'd only ever make a beeline for the armchair and sit in it until it was time to get home, not exactly traipsing around the house so I didn't push for it.
DS (4) told him once he should take his shoes off and brought him slippers, he did as he found it too awkward to refuse him.

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 09/02/2022 20:02

Yep they do. I don’t ask people to unless they are going upstairs (eg tradespeople) but DP does. Most people do it automatically, even tradespeople or they bring shoe covers. My GM brings slippers to people’s houses. I’m sure they won’t mind if you ask them and if they won’t do it then they aren’t coming over any more are they!

FudgeSundae · 09/02/2022 20:03

Yeah I totally don’t get why you have to clean when someone has walked around in shoes, particularly if you have a dog or outdoor cat. It’s the same?
I do take my shoes off in my house but not for cleanliness, I just don’t like wearing shoes. I don’t ask guests to take off shoes (though some do) and my husband and kids don’t. If we go to someone else’s house I check the pile of shoes by the door and whether they have shoes and offer to take ours off. I do have a friend who says yes please remove shoes and then their muddy spaniel jumps all over you Hmm

Blossomtoes · 09/02/2022 20:03

I think it’s a generation thing. I’m old and had never heard of it until the last few years. None of my friends would dream of it and never would. We all have big strong adult kids who crawled on floors that people walked on in shoes.

TulipCat · 09/02/2022 20:05

We take shoes off in our house and so do all our family and friends. Everyone does it as a matter of course at anyone's house, no asking required.

TatianaBis · 09/02/2022 20:05

Prink: to dress or adorn in a showy manner.

Prinky: Prinked up, decked out; spruce-looking; precise; (hence) prissy or showy.

FudgeSundae · 09/02/2022 20:05

Oh and I would be horrified & nonplussed to a) be presented with slippers to wear or b) have friends turn up with slippers at my house.

5128gap · 09/02/2022 20:07

@TatianaBis

Prink: to dress or adorn in a showy manner.

Prinky: Prinked up, decked out; spruce-looking; precise; (hence) prissy or showy.

Thank you! I like it!
Needdoughnuts · 09/02/2022 20:08

Is there a doormat shortage? I can't think why so much poo etc is being walked in to so many houses.

Kazzyhoward · 09/02/2022 20:11

@WowIlikereallyhateyou

I do remove when visiting friends etc, but my work in healthcare means for health and safety i cannot remove my shoes when in patients homes.
We have a box of plastic shoecovers for tradesmen and healthcare visitors for that very reason.