Is this cheeky fuckery re wedding gift

[Checkered1]

I know I am unreasonable re the story as it’s my fault, but wondering if it’s CF behaviour! Lighthearted.

NC in case my dear friend is on here! If you are L, hello!!

Around 8 years ago, a friend and I went to one of those 90s band reunion concerts. The ticket was around £120 each and for some reason I never paid her back. I assume I completely forgot but I never paid her. I’m honestly not one to never pay back, so I really can’t remember what happened. She also never mentioned it herself as if she did, I would have paid.

So 8 years pass and I forget about it and she never mentions it.

I got married two weeks ago. Her wedding card included a note that her wedding gift is those concert tickets that I never paid her for. I checked my bank account (lucky in that the latest I can go back online is 2014!) and indeed I can’t see that I transferred her anything. I honestly cannot remember why I never paid her, it’s unlike me, but looks like I never did.

I text her to apologise for never paying her back, so there’s no issue between us at all, in fact I was more embarrassed that there was this debt hanging over us all this time.

But I’m just wondering if the way she approached it is in the realms of cheeky fuckery, or if it’s actually clever!

I think it's quite funny if she's a good friend. Fair play to her!! 🤣

@Talkwhilstyouwalk So if someone who you thought of as a friend wrote this in a significant moment in your life, you'd think it was funny.

See I think you and all the others wouldn't.

And I bet all of the ops friends wouldn't either
.Cause it's a selfish,cuntish thing to do.

@RachaelN

Well she has certainly played the £120 long game.

That's a really crappy way to deal with it. Not kind, or sensible at all. Putting a downer on someone's very special few days years afterwards is a mean and nasty thing to do. Not owing someone back is bad, and both sides should have dealt with it at the time. To handle it like this is awful and makes this a friendship I wouldn't want yo continue. I mean...what real friend would try to make you feel upset and guilty and uncertain on your wedding day for a 10 year old issue?

At the risk of splitting hairs op, a dinner for both of you at £136 would not have been paying her back, as she spent £240 for you both to attend the concert.

She WBU to leave it until your wedding day to bring it up.

I find it interesting she's waited until your wedding day to let you know that you owe her money and she has had such a long time to mention it to you. Makes me wonder if she's felt resentful about it?

Do you think @Checkered1 that you might have a bit of a reputation for this? Have there been a few times you have bought dinner/lunch/coffee to pay someone back and forgot that also includes your own lunch?

Friend paid £120 for you, but got £68 in return in this scenario (if you did buy her dinner).

I agree with you on this one. She is a CF.
I have also a friend that honestly forgets to pay back (she has money).. and i know that she forgets but i remind her and she never gets upset.
I agree that one can forget about these things..why she never said anything it's beyond me. I don't think she was embarrassed back then otherwise she would've been embarrassed to do this now. And honestly exactly at your wedding is kinda shitty behaviour as it made you feel bad.

@Horseradish01

I don’t think it’s CFery but I do think it’s passive aggressive and petty. Has she been seething for 8 years rather than just ask for the money? Then chooses your wedding day to make a point

This

OP I think your friend was massively out of order. I think she has been extremely petty and has brought it up in the worst possible way at a totally inappropriate time and occasion. None of this is your fault - she should have mentioned it at the time. I think she's a total silly cow and I'm Sure you'll be extremely careful with her in future where anything relating to £ is concerned

No-ones at fault here. She could have (maybe should have?) said something earlier. But, hey.

I accidentally did something similar to you... Easter 2020 a friend and I were meant to be having a girls weekend in Brighton. Friend paid for the hotel right before the first lockdown, and honestly I just didn't give it a single thought... I was furloughed, and friend was working from home.
About 6 months later, she says, "Can you please send me the money for the hotel? I didn't want to mention it while you were furloughed..."
I was pretty embarrassed, and of course sent her the money there and then!

@Velvian

Do you think *@Checkered1* that you might have a bit of a reputation for this? Have there been a few times you have bought dinner/lunch/coffee to pay someone back and forgot that also includes your own lunch?

Friend paid £120 for you, but got £68 in return in this scenario (if you did buy her dinner).

I considered this too, the rep for nit paying back being more than the OP realised.

However the conversation the OP had with the friend didn't suggest this was the case, as far as the friend was concerned. She seems to have presented it as a single but for her clearly significant misstep she has beneficently rectified for the OP with her own act of generosity.

All very odd.

She has gifted Yiu £120! Send her a thank you card and be grateful!

That’s an admiral level of pettiness. I take my hat off to her

I think she’s passive aggressive and petty. Why on earth hasn’t she said something before??!

@Horseradish01

I don’t think it’s CFery but I do think it’s passive aggressive and petty. Has she been seething for 8 years rather than just ask for the money? Then chooses your wedding day to make a point

^ This.

A friend forgot to psy me back mote than that, after I said she could pay back in instalm, when she had the money. That was a mistake.... i had reminded her a few times but to this day it hasn't been repaid.

I gave up. It has occasionally crossed my mind but we parted friendship aroundv3 years ago. I realised I was a useful person to have around but the friendship was very one-sided.

OP, you've gone international! I couldn't believe my ears when I heard about your story on my local radio in Atlanta!
It's just a coincidence that I read the thread last week and made the connection.

Oh no. Her friend may well have heard it somewhere now.

It's a wonder anyone posts anything personal when it can end up in the papers and on the radio. What a shame.

@Velvian

Do you think *@Checkered1* that you might have a bit of a reputation for this? Have there been a few times you have bought dinner/lunch/coffee to pay someone back and forgot that also includes your own lunch?

Friend paid £120 for you, but got £68 in return in this scenario (if you did buy her dinner).

I had to try and explain this to 13 year old dd. She just couldn’t see it. A friend had bought a Mac Donald’s for them both and in her eyes the £10 it cost cancelled out the £10 she was owed by her.

I had to explain she was still owed £5, but she just couldn’t get her head round it.

120 pounds ia a shit lot of money
But she is in the wrong here

you forgot. But she could(should) have asked for the money

Its pretty cheeky to do it for your wedding. However... it is also sort of really funny haha