AIBU: Catering nightmare

[Pluvia]

A friend who is manager of a small charity has been awarded a grant which she's using for a two-day training break for workers and volunteers. They'll be staying in a large private house. Another volunteer had offered to organise the food and cook the evening meal and manage the kitchen during the training but has dropped out. I'm a good cook and I've catered for something similar in the past, so my friend asked me if I would take the work on. I said yes without much thought.

It's become a bit of a nightmare. My friend said that the meat-eaters would be happy to go veggie for a couple of days so I emailed all involved with a proposed menu and a couple of alternatives. The usual choice of veggie lasagnes, bolognese, Mexican, a Mac and cauliflower cheese. I proposed various breakfast and lunch options too.

There are 14-18 people to cater for and I've been inundated with feedback. Several of them want a low-carb option for each meal. There are three gluten-intolerant. One of the vegetarians can't eat Quorn, someone else can't take soya and a number have said 'no lentils or pulses.' There are people who can't eat anything spicy, a woman who is dangerously allergic to tomatoes, another who can't eat onions or garlic. Even the muesli is contentious: someone's replied saying she doesn't like nuts in muesli. I've been asked to assure one of them that all produce will be organic where possible. Someone else wants spelt bread. One person wants a specific brand of oat milk (can't drink anything else). I could go on and on.

The budget for all this is quite tight. I've got £8 pppd, which sounds okay but of course I have to buy extra in case everyone wants cooked veggie breakfasts both days and that also includes drinks. I can't afford to go all-organic. Nor can I work out how to offer a low-carb veggie/ vegan menu.

I told my friend, the manager, that this was all getting out of hand and she said that I should just do what I can and to those with allergies and dietary requirement I couldn't cater for would need to bring their own food. I called the woman with the tomato allergy to ask her if she could bring her own food for each evening meal to be on the safe side and she was quite shirty with me and pointed out that this was supposed to be a fully-catered event.

This is beginning to feel like a huge ask. It's going to take days of planning to ensure everyone is catered for. I'm going to have to buy a lot more stuff to cover more different meals. AIBU to back out now on the basis that this wasn't the relatively simple job it seemed to be, and that I'm doomed to disappoint/ fail? Or am I over-thinking it? Are there workarounds?

Life threatening allergies are different from low carb which is a preference
When I’ve done catered events we’ve made it clear that allergies will be sorted and alternatives offered but preferences won’t be
Does the org you’re working for have liability insurance and do you have the appropriate food handling
Sounds like a minefield and I’d be inclined to back out

Oh goodness. Back out!

suggest if your mate has a budget to buy platters etc from Costco or equivalent

Sounds horrendous. I’d back out, but if you feel you can’t, I’d focus on this with an actual medical allergy- ie the dangerously allergic tomato person.
The person who “doesn’t like nuts in muesli” can sod off!

Email a basic menu across, not as a “would you like” but as a “this is what is on offer”

Anyone who goes to like what is being catered can make their own arrangements. It’s a catered event, not a private chef for 14 individuals

Run away now. You'll never cater for all those preferences on that budget.

Excel spreadsheet? Honestly that sounds like a huge confusing nightmare!

Low-carb is easy - they don't eat the bread and pasta.

Can you do some sort of salad bar/buffet? So those who don't want lentils or pulses (weird, I'm veggie, lentils and pulses are life giving proteins) can avoid that dish; but there are other salads and a hot meal too. The fussy eaters can just avoid the spicy/ carbs/ whatever.

Or just sack it off.

*anyone who doesn’t like

Stupid fat fingers

People with tomato allergies are really difficult because tomatoes are so often the mainstay of mass catering.

That said, I actually don't see how you can cater for vegans with no pulses.

And the specific brand of oat milk? Fuck off.

Your mistake was in asking them what they wanted. If it was a hotel, they'd just have to eat what was available.

I'd give them vegetable slop, dhal and bread with vegan spread. For every meal.

And the no tomato woman can just have dhal and bread

It’s next to impossible to provide all the food for a large number of people in a scenario like this.

I would not appreciate the suggestion that the people with allergies should be the ones to bring their own food either. It’s what events always do, they cater for preferences and ignore real needs.

Vegetarian, vegan, organic, and religious diets are preferences, not requirements.

Low-carb and gluten can be medical requirements or they can be preferences so follow-up is required.

Your responses are such a relief. I was feeling really inadequate. I've been doing a spreadsheet and there's just no way one person on this kind of budget can cover everything, even if I make stuff in advance and freeze it. (Difficult, as the quantities are so large).

Really useful to separate off the medical issues (tomatoes and soya) from the preferences. Thank you, that helps me think about it differently.
I hadn't imagined the planning stage would be such nightmare.

I would not appreciate the suggestion that the people with allergies should be the ones to bring their own food either. It’s what events always do, they cater for preferences and ignore real needs.

Yes, I get that. But it's really difficult to offer a vegetarian menu over two days without using tomatoes at some point. I didn't want to risk cross-contamination and be sued if she ends up in hospital. I hope it's clear that I'm not being paid for this. I'll actually be taking two days' leave from work to do it.

There'll be salads (I do great salads) on offer with lunch and dinner. I'm going to have to ask the low-carb people to bring their own high-protein contribution, I think. Presumably meat or fish. The whole idea was to have no meat or fish — saves money and means we don't have the vegetarians and vegans arguing about people cooking bacon... No good deed goes unpunished, does it?

Whoa. You’re not even being paid for this AND you’re taking leave for do it?

Apologise to your friend and pull out. Someone else has already quit the job, that’s got to be a sign.
Run

They are being unreasonable, it's a catered event but not a gourmet feast and they're not paying for it so they need to be happy with what they get given or bring their own snack. The only person who seems to have a valid request is the one with the tomato allergy.

Breakfast

• cornflakes
• rice crispies
• fruit

Unless they have an actual dairy allergy they can have the milk you provide or bring their own.

Lunch

• selection of wraps/sandwiches - cream cheese and cucumber, falafel and hummus, cheese and coleslaw/onion, tuna Mayo & sweetcorn
• selection of salads
• crisps
• fruit and something like brownies/rocky road/shortbread

All of this can be tomato free or you can have a salad with tomatoes and one without.

Dinner - a couple of options only each evening or go buffet style with meze/tapas style food.

• jacket potatoes with vegetable chilli
• Thai curry/ butternut squash curry/ sweet potato curry and rice
• bbq feast- vege sausages, burgers, corn on the cob, coleslaw, veg kebabs, jacket potatoes
• vegetarian meze meal, stuff like this www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/apr/12/yotam-ottolengh-vegetarian-mezze-recipes

I would just tell your friend you can’t do it, there are to many requests to deal with, if everyone has issues then they sort themselves out

And I say that as someone who has a couple of intolerances that can make me quite ill. I simply eat what I can from any menu and take my own stuff to fill up on

Range of cereals and toast for breakfast.

One night mac and cheese - 2 batches - one with normal pasta, the other with pea pasta (low carb and gluten free) salad on the side

Next night burgers - non- quorn veggie burger for the veggies and both normal and gluten free buns available, fries and salad, bottle of ketchup.

I would say gluten free (ceoliac for example), veggie and allergies should be observed.

Ignore the shit about spelt bread and the like.

Does the org you’re working for have liability insurance and do you have the appropriate food handling?
Sounds like a minefield and I’d be inclined to back out".

Even if they do have indemnity insurance, will it cover you if you are not an employee?

Do not do this.

The type of people who bother to respond saying they dont like nuts in muesli and want a specific brand of nuts are fucking nutters who will kick up a massive stink about something.

Honestly back out now. A veggie gluten free low carb menu with no soya tomato onion or pulses is not possible, there is probably only one or two meals that even fit that category.

@maddening, you're a genius. That may actually be the solution! I was going for something more complicated but a really good mac and cheese with a couple of interesting salads and plenty of bread might be the answer. Not spicy, no onion or garlic, no tomato. Thank you. Not sure whether I can veganise that: I'll google.

Likewise the 'build your own burger' idea. Oven fries, salad and we're away. No pulses or tomatoes.

I've scrapped the idea of the cooked breakfast. Too complicated and whatever sausages I had would be bound to be the wrong ones. Porridge, cereals, maybe pancakes, fruit, toast/crumpets/ croissants. The low carb people will have to go without.

Oh shit the vegans! Maybe 3 batches, the vegan one with pea pasta incase of a gluten free vegan.

I wor per head in the charity sector - many caterers wouldn;t even look at lunch for £8 per head - let alone a full day of catered food.
Low carb is easy - but harder to achieve if you're cooking vegetarian and avoiding lentils, pulses and tomatoes.

agree with PPs - work arounds like BYO/or alternatives for allergies - tell them to get on with it for intolerences (aka fussy gits)
As for spelt bread and "might fancy a cooked breakfast" they can get lost too. - Porridge is cheap and easy, and for those low carbing, 18g for a 30g portion, or toast. Overnight porridge made with water and you don't need to worry about the dairy intolerents.
Do the best you can on a menu - and cost it - if it's not doable on £8, let them know what they'll have to pay to cover sosts, and make it perfectly clear to the whingers what they can expect for £8 per head per day (and it isn't organic spelt bread!)

Thug Kitchen’s vegan macaroni cheese is ok if the no-nuts-in-muesli-liker is only picky and not allergic?

Could you do boiled eggs for breakfast? Would suit the low carbers and not too expensive?

Bless you for doing something so kind to help your pal.

I used to arrange big dinner dances and yeah pple take the mick with their requests.

Could you do a help yourself jacket potato and salad bar with things like beans, cheese, sweetcorn etc, cucumber etc but not offer tomato...?

Folk can bring their own fruit ( I would) low carbers

@marshmallowhearts

Thug Kitchen’s vegan macaroni cheese is ok if the no-nuts-in-muesli-liker is only picky and not allergic?

Thanks for that. I might try it at home first to see whether it's something I'd be happy serving.

I've got a good sweet potato-based dish which would suit the vegans. I don't want to try and do a curry. I've never had a really good mass-catering curry and because no onions and no spice is allowed it would be very dull.