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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: Catering nightmare

207 replies

Pluvia · 08/02/2022 21:50

A friend who is manager of a small charity has been awarded a grant which she's using for a two-day training break for workers and volunteers. They'll be staying in a large private house. Another volunteer had offered to organise the food and cook the evening meal and manage the kitchen during the training but has dropped out. I'm a good cook and I've catered for something similar in the past, so my friend asked me if I would take the work on. I said yes without much thought.

It's become a bit of a nightmare. My friend said that the meat-eaters would be happy to go veggie for a couple of days so I emailed all involved with a proposed menu and a couple of alternatives. The usual choice of veggie lasagnes, bolognese, Mexican, a Mac and cauliflower cheese. I proposed various breakfast and lunch options too.

There are 14-18 people to cater for and I've been inundated with feedback. Several of them want a low-carb option for each meal. There are three gluten-intolerant. One of the vegetarians can't eat Quorn, someone else can't take soya and a number have said 'no lentils or pulses.' There are people who can't eat anything spicy, a woman who is dangerously allergic to tomatoes, another who can't eat onions or garlic. Even the muesli is contentious: someone's replied saying she doesn't like nuts in muesli. I've been asked to assure one of them that all produce will be organic where possible. Someone else wants spelt bread. One person wants a specific brand of oat milk (can't drink anything else). I could go on and on.

The budget for all this is quite tight. I've got £8 pppd, which sounds okay but of course I have to buy extra in case everyone wants cooked veggie breakfasts both days and that also includes drinks. I can't afford to go all-organic. Nor can I work out how to offer a low-carb veggie/ vegan menu.

I told my friend, the manager, that this was all getting out of hand and she said that I should just do what I can and to those with allergies and dietary requirement I couldn't cater for would need to bring their own food. I called the woman with the tomato allergy to ask her if she could bring her own food for each evening meal to be on the safe side and she was quite shirty with me and pointed out that this was supposed to be a fully-catered event.

This is beginning to feel like a huge ask. It's going to take days of planning to ensure everyone is catered for. I'm going to have to buy a lot more stuff to cover more different meals. AIBU to back out now on the basis that this wasn't the relatively simple job it seemed to be, and that I'm doomed to disappoint/ fail? Or am I over-thinking it? Are there workarounds?

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 09/02/2022 12:23

Make sure you are insured... get yourself listed as a volunteer for the organisation thatbway the organisation is responsible. Do not do this as an outsider and your friend is leaving you open to a whole heap of problems.

TerrierOrTerror · 09/02/2022 12:25

I also have a severe tomato allergy - you can make a Passata alternative to use in chilli etc, Google nomato. That said I wouldn't go near anything that red unless I had made it myself!

Do also check her allergy isn't airborne, I couldn't sit in a small unventilated room with 10 people say eating a chilli. You would also need to be really careful about cross contamination, a simmering sauce splattering slightly is very easy to miss.

One option potentially is build your own burritos bowls. Selection of sensibly marinated proteins (chicken, tofu), selection of beans, sauces, veggies, rice, tortillas, salads. All labelled up. I would also sneakily keep some allergy safe food back in case others take it all, I still remember being given my own safe plate at a job interview and another candidate wandering over and taking half from it despite it being in my hand...

hugr · 09/02/2022 12:30

Sorry to be tetchy, it's the regular dire warnings about being sued if anyone feels unwell after eating my food and the insistence that I'm some sort of spineless people pleaser to have found myself here in the first place that have irritated.

You're presenting yourself as a caterer, it's not even about suing but do you really want to take the risk of cross contaminating if you have someone with a severe allergy and people with gluten intolerance to feed when you're not paid and have no liability or indemnity insurance?

Goldi321 · 09/02/2022 12:32

You need to pull out. This group seem to have got it in their minds that you are a professional, paid caterer who will cater to their every whim. Spelt bread only FFS.
You will never please this group of people.

rookiemere · 09/02/2022 12:36

If you do go ahead OP I'd want an email assurance from the organiser that you will not be held liable for any issues caused through people getting I'll from the food.

NoToLandfill · 09/02/2022 12:38

If you don't have insurance then do NOT do this job

UniversalAunt · 09/02/2022 12:38

‘ If you do go ahead OP I'd want an email assurance from the organiser that you will not be held liable for any issues caused through people getting I'll from the food.’

Not worth the paper it’d be printed on.

user468375484 · 09/02/2022 12:44

Any insurance you can take out would probably require you to be able to show you're
A) registered as a food business with the council - that takes 28 days notice before you can start preparing food
B) have a level 2 food hygiene certificate
C) have all the paperwork - HACCP, risk assessments, temperature logs, allergen matrixes etc

It's all very well and good buying insurance, but if they don't pay out....

Anything from the organiser saying you wouldn't be held liable if something went wrong isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Somebodylikeyew · 09/02/2022 12:44

You’re kind to try and help your friend but honestly, this is madness, I’m not even sure it’s legal.

This is NOT a private party. This is a work event and so food regulations apply. You do not meet them.

UniversalAunt · 09/02/2022 12:45

Ahem, unless you are trained & fully indemnified, then OP needs to stay away from the alleged favour. No good deed etc…

www.slatergordon.co.uk/personal-injury-claim/illness/food-poisoning/

This web page briefly summarises that food allergy contamination is covered by food safety considerations & that strict liability may be found if a claim is made.

Not for nowt do professional caterers & restaurants declare on menus & web sites that some allergen food contamination may take place. Some restaurants have a hard earned reputation for managing food allergens & they do a roaring trade from this.

UniversalAunt · 09/02/2022 12:48

‘ It's all very well and good buying insurance, but if they don't pay out.... ’

Quite, when buying any insurance policy, my financial advisor told me to go for the firm with the proven reputation for paying out rather than the cheapest offer with the free cuddly toys etc. Invaluable advice.

regthetabbycat · 09/02/2022 12:49

@rubyslippers

Life threatening allergies are different from low carb which is a preference When I’ve done catered events we’ve made it clear that allergies will be sorted and alternatives offered but preferences won’t be Does the org you’re working for have liability insurance and do you have the appropriate food handling Sounds like a minefield and I’d be inclined to back out
Not for diabetics it isn't!
milkyaqua · 09/02/2022 12:50

Sorry to be tetchy, it's the regular dire warnings about being sued if anyone feels unwell after eating my food and the insistence that I'm some sort of spineless people pleaser to have found myself here in the first place that have irritated.

And yet their response to your original menu shows clearly you are not dealing with reasonable people.

NavigatingAdolescence · 09/02/2022 13:03

A veggie gluten free low carb menu with no soya tomato onion or pulses is not possible, there is probably only one or two meals that even fit that category.

As a low carbing (10 years+) veggie (30+ years) with a tomato/nightshade allergy (40+ years) who avoids pulses and caffeine and minimal dairy, welcome to my world!

This is why I self cater at weddings!

I would suggest something like a broccoli soup made with coconut milk (vegan) with bread for those that want it.

Roasted butternut squash soup (roast onions, red peppers, butternut squash, garlic, red chilli and blitz with veg stock). Serve with crackers and cheese.

Thai green veg curry (vegan) with rice/cauliflower

Vegetable frittatas (with or without cheese). Use butternut squash instead of potato and serve with salads.

Roasted cauliflower with a tahini sauce (vegan) and green veg/salads.

Selection of dips/hummous and crudités/breadsticks.

Pad Thai/Stir fried veg with noodles/courgetti for the low carbers.

Just some ideas for you. Good luck.

godmum56 · 09/02/2022 13:12

@NavigatingAdolescence

A veggie gluten free low carb menu with no soya tomato onion or pulses is not possible, there is probably only one or two meals that even fit that category.

As a low carbing (10 years+) veggie (30+ years) with a tomato/nightshade allergy (40+ years) who avoids pulses and caffeine and minimal dairy, welcome to my world!

This is why I self cater at weddings!

I would suggest something like a broccoli soup made with coconut milk (vegan) with bread for those that want it.

Roasted butternut squash soup (roast onions, red peppers, butternut squash, garlic, red chilli and blitz with veg stock). Serve with crackers and cheese.

Thai green veg curry (vegan) with rice/cauliflower

Vegetable frittatas (with or without cheese). Use butternut squash instead of potato and serve with salads.

Roasted cauliflower with a tahini sauce (vegan) and green veg/salads.

Selection of dips/hummous and crudités/breadsticks.

Pad Thai/Stir fried veg with noodles/courgetti for the low carbers.

Just some ideas for you. Good luck.

I'd actually enjoy that food but would be living in the loo and no one else would want to use it!
Pluvia · 09/02/2022 13:19

I'm trying to get my head around how anyone could stir fry vegetables for 14 people well, while also putting up decent noodles and courgetti. That's why people usually have things like a chilli or a lasagne or pasta and sauce, because they are forgiving. Just wondering what a previous poster, who thought asking everyone to go veggie wasn't fair and suggested I cook a side of beef, would make of broccoli soup and cauliflower with tahini sauce.

OP posts:
PeakyBlender · 09/02/2022 13:25

I love most soup but have several friends who don't like it at all, and won't eat it.

Spelt bread is a fucking joke.

RocketAndAFuckingMelon · 09/02/2022 13:38

I love this sort of catering challenge but this is a ridiculous list you're dealing with! Veggie / vegan with no gluten, tomatoes, pulses, lentils, onion, garlic, soy, spices or Quorn. And a low carb option?

If you're minded to do it at all here's what I would do

Breakfast - cereal or toast, gluten free toast available, the oat milk queen can bring her own and milk the individual oats if she's minded to. Jam, honey, marmalade and marmite on offer. If you were feeling generous, hardboiled eggs and cheese for the low carb crew.

Lunch - I'd avoid sandwiches and instead have a good selection of bread rolls, breadsticks, GF breads with lots of hummus, cheese, and fruit. Massive green salad (leaves, cucumber, peppers, celery, etc) and a massive quinoa salad (quinoa, finely chopped peppers and cucumber, chopped dried apricots, grated carrot, orange and cumin dressing). Various veggies like carrot sticks and radishes, pickled onions and gherkins.

Dinner - day 1 I would do jacket potatoes with toppings: vegan mushroom stroganoff, cheese (normal and vegan), hummus. If the low carbers are lifestyle preference rather than medical need, jacket sweet potatoes for them. If it's medical need, giant roast mushrooms - two each depending on size - instead. If you're doing the mushrooms, I'd do a veganised creamy leeks, or a spinach and chickpea mix, as a topping for the potatoes and mushrooms instead of the mushroom stroganoff, otherwise you're serving mushrooms with mushrooms.

Day 2 I would do rice bowls - prep all 18 bowls with half rice and half stir-fried green veg, a mixture of Chinese leaf, pak choi, shredded cabbage (no rice for the low carbers) and then have toppings available for them to help themselves: teriyaki jackfruit, sweetcorn, mushroom strips, maybe sweet and sour tofu knots (label for the soy allergic person), maybe broccoli and green pepper in black bean sauce, maybe sea spiced aubergine.
The teriyaki jackfruit would have to be made with aminos not soy sauce, and the onion / garlic averse person would have to stick to the sweetcorn and mushrooms (maybe the tofu knots) but that caters to everyone.

Snacks I would just do tea and biscuits. Oreos and bourbons are vegan. Dessert would be fruit and yoghurt. Vegan option would be coconut collaborative yoghurt not the soy one.

Then I would put my feet up with a large cup of tea and a bar of chocolate, and if one of them chooses to gaze sadly into a glass of water I would let them get on with it. It will be compensated by the person who was intolerant to the mere idea of food until they saw it. Both of these people are inevitable at any reasonably sized catering event.

Zilla1 · 09/02/2022 14:05

An executive chef would struggle, OP, and not for that budget. If you are still enthusiastic, I would propose a menu with the minimum permutations for your friend to consider (and realise the complexity) and circulate and have shirty responses directed back through them. I would also have each participant give a clear statement that delineates between medical requirements, reasonable requirements and preferences/likes through your friend. Depending on jurisdiction, I would also consider whether the workplace nature of the event would have expectations about a requirement for catering qualifications, insurance and suchlike, given the participants don't seem to welcome the informal approach (then I'd back out). Perhaps not a surprise why the previous cook withdrew. You sound kind but I think you are on a hiding to nothing in a world that has somewhat changed, OP. If I felt some people had gone beyond reasonable requirements into seeking to control other people then I'd personally fund some choices but then I can lose patience.

Zilla1 · 09/02/2022 14:06

Gluten free pizzas can be cheap and tailored if you can make the dough. You are correct concerning stir fries too, OP.

Good luck.

TakeMe2Insanity · 09/02/2022 14:30

I’m still confused as to why you are doing this.

onedayoranother · 09/02/2022 14:44

Go back to them all and say you are volunteering for this snd you can do X or Y, but if there are any other preferences then people will have to bring their own meals. You are not a restaurant or professional cook and cannot cater to individuals. I would not have given them any options to be honest - I would have arranged one dish where carbs could be separate and a vegan dish and then left them to it.

MsJinks · 09/02/2022 14:54

I go on a yoga event thing and all food is vegan plus they also cater well for gluten free - to be honest my gluten free vegan bun last time was not really to my liking - however I am grateful for the food, appreciate they cover gluten free, eat it, and would never consider complaining- the catering has to cover all sorts of requirements and I can’t imagine expecting to get my favourite and personal requirements at an event. To add they did find drink requirements difficult I think as only water on offer the second time and not hot drinks - but that is fine - fed and watered is great.
I think the attendees need to reign in their expectations - I think the main potential problem is cross contamination with some allergies so just maybe do your best to provide something that doesn’t have the food in at all and tell everyone to be more grateful and open to compromise.
Good luck!

Rainbowshine · 09/02/2022 14:55

I’d go back to the organiser and suggest giving each participant the equivalent of £8 per day meal allowance for the duration of the event and then they can sort themselves out according to their requirements and preferences. Unless you had a fully professional staffed kitchen in a hotel that caters for hundreds of people a day you cannot do this. You seem set on ignoring the advice about not doing it so good luck with it. I do think you’d be better off backing out of it though.

Zilla1 · 09/02/2022 14:57

@Rainbowshine that's a great suggestion.

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