AIBU: Catering nightmare

[Pluvia]

A friend who is manager of a small charity has been awarded a grant which she's using for a two-day training break for workers and volunteers. They'll be staying in a large private house. Another volunteer had offered to organise the food and cook the evening meal and manage the kitchen during the training but has dropped out. I'm a good cook and I've catered for something similar in the past, so my friend asked me if I would take the work on. I said yes without much thought.

It's become a bit of a nightmare. My friend said that the meat-eaters would be happy to go veggie for a couple of days so I emailed all involved with a proposed menu and a couple of alternatives. The usual choice of veggie lasagnes, bolognese, Mexican, a Mac and cauliflower cheese. I proposed various breakfast and lunch options too.

There are 14-18 people to cater for and I've been inundated with feedback. Several of them want a low-carb option for each meal. There are three gluten-intolerant. One of the vegetarians can't eat Quorn, someone else can't take soya and a number have said 'no lentils or pulses.' There are people who can't eat anything spicy, a woman who is dangerously allergic to tomatoes, another who can't eat onions or garlic. Even the muesli is contentious: someone's replied saying she doesn't like nuts in muesli. I've been asked to assure one of them that all produce will be organic where possible. Someone else wants spelt bread. One person wants a specific brand of oat milk (can't drink anything else). I could go on and on.

The budget for all this is quite tight. I've got £8 pppd, which sounds okay but of course I have to buy extra in case everyone wants cooked veggie breakfasts both days and that also includes drinks. I can't afford to go all-organic. Nor can I work out how to offer a low-carb veggie/ vegan menu.

I told my friend, the manager, that this was all getting out of hand and she said that I should just do what I can and to those with allergies and dietary requirement I couldn't cater for would need to bring their own food. I called the woman with the tomato allergy to ask her if she could bring her own food for each evening meal to be on the safe side and she was quite shirty with me and pointed out that this was supposed to be a fully-catered event.

This is beginning to feel like a huge ask. It's going to take days of planning to ensure everyone is catered for. I'm going to have to buy a lot more stuff to cover more different meals. AIBU to back out now on the basis that this wasn't the relatively simple job it seemed to be, and that I'm doomed to disappoint/ fail? Or am I over-thinking it? Are there workarounds?

I’m not surprised the other person dropped out, it sounds like a group that can’t be satisfied!

Its one thing to do a thankless task...quite another to do an utterly joyless one, which is what you're describing here, for a bunch of entitled, ungrateful and demanding people. Please just decline and leave this shit show for someone else to lose sleep over.

Are you going to get stuck with all the clean-up, too? It sounds like people see it as going to a hotel whereas I think really this needed to be set up as a shared house scenario if there isn't money in the budget to pay people for the work!

Jesus. No. And these sulky entitled nitwits are supposed to be volunteers and charity workers??? No wonder the other woman quit.

God, I’ve been at paid-for courses away where I’ve had less choice than this. Agree with the other posters: allergies have to be catered for, so do religious/ethical diets; fussy buggers do not. Muesli woman can pick the nuts out can’t she?

When I’ve been away and catered for, breakfast has never been cooked – maybe a bowl of boiled eggs – always a selection of breads, cereals, including porridge, spreads, milks, juices and fruit, very much “DIY to preference”.

Lunch equally a breads, cheese, selection of salads situation – everything clearly labelled. For this lot you probably can’t pre-dress anything as someone will kick off.

I like the idea of the macaroni cheese, and the burgers. You definitely need a spreadsheet. Also if you Google “what can I cook with” there are websites where you can plug in all your ingredients – in your case everything you can cook with without killing someone – and they give you links to recipes from across the web. You might find there are veggie dishes that suit all requirements and can be adjusted to be vegan.

But all that said I’d probably quit.

Sorry, OP, but you're being taken for a ride. Crazy expectations.

I think it sounds like more hassle than it’s worth (and I quite like the problem solving of planning meals).

If you want to do it I would suggest having a spreadsheet so you can see what allergies/dietary requirements people actually have and make sure that there’s something available for each person at each meal. They don’t need to be able to eat everything.

My suggestion would be to abandon a cooked breakfast and do:

• Porridge made with oat milk (vegan)
• Toast
• Cornflakes or granola
• Pastries (Tesco has frozen gluten free pastries that you could provide as long as you ensure there’s no cross contamination).
• Yoghurt (individual pots of soy and dairy yogurts)
• Fruit (just put out a selection of apples, pears, bananas and clementines so people can help themselves)
• Jam, marmite, honey and butter/vegan spread.
• Semi-skimmed milk or oat milk

Lunch Day 1:

• Jacket potatoes/sweet potatoes/cauliflower rice.
• Veggie chilli (made with beans rather than quorn, I’d add spices, tomatoes and onions- as long as it’s labeled the person who doesn’t eat it can just avoid the chilli)
• Grated cheese, sour cream and guacamole in separate pots that people can help themselves to.
• Butter/vegan spread
• Green salad (no tomatoes or onions, dressing on the side).

-Dessert: Yoghurts, fruit and cake/biscuit selection.

Dinner Day 1:

• Grilled halloumi/marinated tofu
• Roasted veg (Root veg with no onions, garlic, spices or tomatoes in one tray. Mediterranean veg with onions, garlic and spices in another tray).
• Bread (white, brown or gluten free)
• Butter/vegan spread
• Green salad (dressing on the side)

Breakfast Day 2:
Same as day 1

Lunch:

• Soup: Vegan minestrone (with beans, tomatoes, garlic etc). Clearly label what’s in it.
• Roasted root veg and butternut squash soup (no pulses, tomatoes or garlic)
• Bread (brown, white, gluten free)
• Cheeses, butter and vegan spread
• Green salad with bowls of add ons on the side (olives, cherry tomatoes, dressing etc)
• Dessert: Same as Day 1

Dinner Day 2:
Pasta bar

• Choice of pasta/pea pasta/quinoa
• Pasta sauce 1: Cheese sauce (no onions, garlic or spices)
• Pasta sauce 2: Tomato and roasted veg sauce (Vegan and gluten free but with onions, garlic/chili).
• Pasta sauce 3: Pesto (you can find a option that includes/excludes any dietary restrictions that haven’t been catered for- maybe roasted pepper, kale and pine nuts, use either Parmesan or nutritional yeast depending on whether or not it need to be vegan)
• Garlic bread/gluten free garlic bread (if you can find it).
• Green salad (dressing on the side)
• Bowls of olives/grated Parmesan/vegan Parmesan that people can help themselves to.
• Pudding: Ice-cream (vanilla or chocolate), vegan fruit sorbet (raspberry). Fruit.

I’d send out the menu in advance and state that you have tried to meet as many dietary requirements as possible. However, you cannot guarantee that food will be prepared in an allergy free environment and due to practical restrictions there are limits to the number of options you can provide. Let them know that if you they want to bring specific items (ready meals, certain milk, a special cereal) then you can ensure that these are labeled and stored appropriately.

No wonder the last person dropped out!..... I too would back out.

Well, it's pretty damned obvious why the first volunteer dropped out.

Frankly I'd be dropping out of the catering right now (giving her the maximum time to find another) explaining that the complexity of the requirements is beyond you

These people aren't going on holiday they are employees and volunteers on training in a private house (can they even get takeaway, their own food, etc within walking distance?). Those with allergies and intolerances need to be catered for, and not be told to "take it or leave it".

I'd send a message out saying you will be catering for medical allergies however the budget will not stretch to specific brands/organic foods so people will need to bring their own.
Your biggest issue will be avoiding cross contamination of gluten into gluten free food. Cant be cooked in same appliances or cut with same knives or touching same surface.

Are you insured and adequately trained in cross contamination?

I have a severe food allergy, to cater for me you need training, insurance and you need to know the layout of your kitchen well in advance. I really wouldn’t cater for allergies without adequate training or insurance in place.

Drop out. Your friend needs to significantly up the budget and make clear that this is not a restaurant.

I’m another one who works in catering and events and I don’t think this is legal.

Yes you’re a volunteer, but the charity is deeming you responsible to provide catering. Either by providing you with a budget and asking you to prepare it, or by buying the food directly and asking you to prepare it.

It’s not a private party. It’s no different to a company taking its employees on a two day residential conference.

Just because people aren’t paid doesn’t mean that their rights to allergen information and awareness and food safety are null and void.

Yes, this task is impossible except by professional specialist caterers with appropriate facilities to avoid cross contamination on a significantly larger budget.

I'm only here to say

Pastries (Tesco has frozen gluten free pastries that you could provide as long as you ensure there’s no cross contamination

I need these in my life, I've never seen them!

Anyway, as a coeliac, in this sort of scenario if there were cooking facilities I'd rather just sort myself out.

I used to make food for a small hobby (sorry ) group which met weekly. I’m a keen amateur, not a professional, I don’t have a business and the organiser was just a friend who asked if I’d fancy doing it.

I took it upon myself to do a food hygiene course so I was covered to prepare food at home, someone from the local council came and took a look round to give my kitchen the OK, and I bought myself public liability insurance (not an expensive policy, but a reassurance) just in case anything awful happened and I got sued.

I know it all seems like massive overkill for a volunteer but quite honestly, with the level of crazy you’ve encountered so far, OP, I’d want to feel armed for all eventualities. Insurance at a minimum.

Although I’m afraid I’d be making my excuses and running rapidly in the other direction if I were you.

OP I would ring your district council and ask for advice from the Environmental Health officer as to your legal position. I very much expect that they will tell you you can't do this without specific insurance and relevant certificates. You can then explain this to your friend.

It's not a holiday, it's a work event (even if some of the attendees are volunteers) and that is different.

@BarbaraofSeville

Yes, this task is impossible except by professional specialist caterers with appropriate facilities to avoid cross contamination on a significantly larger budget.

But even then, I don't think they'd go to the level of personalisation that has been requested by this group, nor do I think anyone should try, because it sounds like, given the multiple exclusions that some seem to require, there's so little actual food left that what they can produce will be very bland and disappointing to anyone who enjoys food.

For exactly can a low carb vegan eat? Nut salad with weird fake cheese?

Run away as fast as you can.
Dear friend. I had underestimated the scale of the task and think it's beyond my knowledge and capabilities. Sorry.

I am a no/low carbing diabetic and have an an allergy to pulses and yeast. I know that it must be a nightmare to cater for me as my ideal diet is meat, cheese, nuts, plain salad. I don't eat pasta, potatoes, rice, bread, fruit or anything with quantities of these in it.
If I was coming to the work event I would be happy to bring my own food if I was asked in advance and had a fridge to put it in.
If I was not warned and found that nearly every meal consisted mainly of carbs I would be very disappointed as this is not a lifestyle choice for me but something I have to do for my health.

@ThinWomansBrain

I wor per head in the charity sector - many caterers wouldn;t even look at lunch for £8 per head - let alone a full day of catered food. Low carb is easy - but harder to achieve if you're cooking vegetarian and avoiding lentils, pulses and tomatoes.

agree with PPs - work arounds like BYO/or alternatives for allergies - tell them to get on with it for intolerences (aka fussy gits)
As for spelt bread and "might fancy a cooked breakfast" they can get lost too. - Porridge is cheap and easy, and for those low carbing, 18g for a 30g portion, or toast. Overnight porridge made with water and you don't need to worry about the dairy intolerents.
Do the best you can on a menu - and cost it - if it's not doable on £8, let them know what they'll have to pay to cover sosts, and make it perfectly clear to the whingers what they can expect for £8 per head per day (and it isn't organic spelt bread!)

tell them to get on with it for intolerences (aka fussy gits) Are you always so pompous and ignorant? You sound like those twats who declare allergies aren't real. Sometimes there's actually a real fucking intolerance which has been medically diagnosed. I'm in agony for days if I eat onions so take your ignorance and shove it

I'd be telling her that I couldn't get the time off.

There was a thing in the paper for a uni halls druing lockdown who does a catered breakfast. Inundated with a list of wants they went low and every student got a jam sandwich on gluten free bread no butter and an apple.

You can not win I'd back it now with apologies.

*Well, it's pretty damned obvious why the first volunteer dropped out.

Frankly I'd be dropping out of the catering right now (giving her the maximum time to find another) explaining that the complexity of the requirements is beyond you*

Just this!