AIBU: Catering nightmare

[Pluvia]

A friend who is manager of a small charity has been awarded a grant which she's using for a two-day training break for workers and volunteers. They'll be staying in a large private house. Another volunteer had offered to organise the food and cook the evening meal and manage the kitchen during the training but has dropped out. I'm a good cook and I've catered for something similar in the past, so my friend asked me if I would take the work on. I said yes without much thought.

It's become a bit of a nightmare. My friend said that the meat-eaters would be happy to go veggie for a couple of days so I emailed all involved with a proposed menu and a couple of alternatives. The usual choice of veggie lasagnes, bolognese, Mexican, a Mac and cauliflower cheese. I proposed various breakfast and lunch options too.

There are 14-18 people to cater for and I've been inundated with feedback. Several of them want a low-carb option for each meal. There are three gluten-intolerant. One of the vegetarians can't eat Quorn, someone else can't take soya and a number have said 'no lentils or pulses.' There are people who can't eat anything spicy, a woman who is dangerously allergic to tomatoes, another who can't eat onions or garlic. Even the muesli is contentious: someone's replied saying she doesn't like nuts in muesli. I've been asked to assure one of them that all produce will be organic where possible. Someone else wants spelt bread. One person wants a specific brand of oat milk (can't drink anything else). I could go on and on.

The budget for all this is quite tight. I've got £8 pppd, which sounds okay but of course I have to buy extra in case everyone wants cooked veggie breakfasts both days and that also includes drinks. I can't afford to go all-organic. Nor can I work out how to offer a low-carb veggie/ vegan menu.

I told my friend, the manager, that this was all getting out of hand and she said that I should just do what I can and to those with allergies and dietary requirement I couldn't cater for would need to bring their own food. I called the woman with the tomato allergy to ask her if she could bring her own food for each evening meal to be on the safe side and she was quite shirty with me and pointed out that this was supposed to be a fully-catered event.

This is beginning to feel like a huge ask. It's going to take days of planning to ensure everyone is catered for. I'm going to have to buy a lot more stuff to cover more different meals. AIBU to back out now on the basis that this wasn't the relatively simple job it seemed to be, and that I'm doomed to disappoint/ fail? Or am I over-thinking it? Are there workarounds?

@Pluvia

I would let things like the spice and toms go and do chilli and rice or baked potatoes (which you can make GF if you're careful with stock cubes), with a vegan alternative and cheese on the side.

I'm taking a quick peek in here every now and then. This just jumped out at me. I know everyone means well but how can you tell me to let spice and tomatoes go and then tell me to make a chilli? Chilli is tomatoes and spice and the tomatoes could put one of the participants in hospital. And I do love the quick 'and a vegan alternative', as if that's just three minutes' work. Sorry to pick on you, Maestrog, particularly as you're a fellow Welshie, but honestly...

Sorry to be tetchy, it's the regular dire warnings about being sued if anyone feels unwell after eating my food and the insistence that I'm some sort of spineless people pleaser to have found myself here in the first place that have irritated.

no I think you are a good person who has inadvertently got themselves into a really difficult hole. I do think that you (and your friend) are putting themselves at risk by agreeing to supply meals to such a "dietarily diverse" group of people.

@DelphiniumBlue

Does the org you’re working for have liability insurance and do you have the appropriate food handling? Sounds like a minefield and I’d be inclined to back out".

Even if they do have indemnity insurance, will it cover you if you are not an employee?

This.

My son is allergic to all sorts of nuts and all raw fruit and veg. We very rarely eat outside the house as I know 100% that my food is safe as I've had advanced training and know about cross contamination. If I went on an event like this with him I would absolutely assume that the person cooking was fully up to date about allergens, cross contamination and was also fully insured. If I'm taking the gamble to eat out with an allergy and he goes into extreme anaphylaxis and his air way gets cut off and he suffers brain damage or even death, you can bet you arse I'd be demanding to see proof of training, insurance etc.

I've worked in professional kitchens and in this day and age I wouldn't touch a project like this with a a barge pole. I cook for friends and family and that's it. Taking payment for food, even just for ingredients potentially opens you up to litigation should anything happen.

Yeah, dippy egg and soldiers sounds a good shout with oat milk porridge for the vegans.
Sounds like everything needs to be gluten free, vegan, and tomato free.
Then for lunch each day I'd do a couple of warm salads - there's a good hello fresh one with peppers, butternut squash, cous cous, and halloumi that could be good for that number of people at that price. Not sure if cous cous is gluten free though! Add the halloumi at the end and you're covered for the dairy frees and leave out tomatoes.
A nice tray bake for mid afternoon, again gluten free and vegan so flapjack or brownies. Apples and oranges as an option too.
Dinner gluten free pasta is a good shout, could you do a vegan carbonara with mushrooms and parsley? And jacket potato with beans the next day.

Honestly I'd be throwing a hissy fit though, that's an outrageous list of preferences. Please email them and say you're only catering for allergies but this is the menu and they're welcome to bring snacks to supplement...

And for what it's worth, I regularly have to cater for family members with a selection of allergies and intolerances and wouldn't touch this with a barge pole either, especially given the entitlement over the preferences.

I would absolutely back out of this, they need to hire a professional. I'm stressed just reading this thread

I'd price up buying ready made pizzas etc as supermarket food will have a list of allergens.
£8 a day is ridiculously low.

Also without a doubt the normal carvers will eat the low carber's food, ditto the no tomatoes one will be snaffled too

And the person who said a pasta bar, how will that work for the low carbers? I think the low carbers need to sort their own food out.

But still. I'd pull out while you can. This event is going to be too hard.

A proper caterer would charge so much more than £8 per head.

@Pluvia no you misunderstood me re the spice and tomatoes.

I'm not suggesting you open yourself to poisoning anyone. I'm saying it is virtually impossible to meet all these requirements so you need to reign it back and tell some people that one of the meals does not meet their requests. And this is absolutely acceptable.

I'm GF and lactose intolerant. I don't take these things lightly. But I would 100% rather be told there is no GF option than be fed a whole weekend of bland food with no meat, spices, tomatoes, onions, garlic, cheese etc etc because you are trying to meet an impossible set of limitations. You're doing this because you're a good cook, so cook something you've want to eat! Just let people know what's in it and let them make their own decisions.

[quote Maestrog]@Pluvia no you misunderstood me re the spice and tomatoes.

I'm not suggesting you open yourself to poisoning anyone. I'm saying it is virtually impossible to meet all these requirements so you need to reign it back and tell some people that one of the meals does not meet their requests. And this is absolutely acceptable.

I'm GF and lactose intolerant. I don't take these things lightly. But I would 100% rather be told there is no GF option than be fed a whole weekend of bland food with no meat, spices, tomatoes, onions, garlic, cheese etc etc because you are trying to meet an impossible set of limitations. You're doing this because you're a good cook, so cook something you've want to eat! Just let people know what's in it and let them make their own decisions.[/quote]
I am not sure that would help.....I could see cries of "not fair" why should he/she get preference over me" and so on. Its why i suggested giving the attenders the money and letting them sort themselves out....then no one can say that anyone has had preferential treatment. I could see it working for you as you are obviously a reasonable person but honestly that's not always the case.

Whoah.You're a volunteer. The co-workers are not paying customers in your restaurant. Keep it very simple.

I would devise a set menu for each meal as follows.

All breakfasts will be a self-serve buffet choice of cold cereals, fruit,
boiled eggs toast and tea-coffee.

Lunches will be a vegetable soup, bread, and and a range of cheese/ham/salad / left over eggs from breakfast, to DIY sandwiches

Dinner will be one vegetarian baked dish chosen by you , carbs and salad. Cold meat or fish on the side. Fruit and cheese, with crackers .

From that, everyone picks and chooses whatever their diet/ religion/ health/allergy /condition allows. Take it or leave it. Managing their special diet is their own responsibility.

If they have other requirements ( vegan cheese made from leaves) they must bring it themselves.

And re the "just add a vegan option", yeah point taken but my thought with doing chilli is it IS easy to make one of a bean or Quorn or soy protein version alongside a meat one. It won't meet everyone's requirements, because that is completely bloody impossible, see above.

You literally can't win. If you find some amazing, I dunno, vegan mushroom stroganoff which avoids all the allergens, someone will turn round and say they don't like mushrooms.

@godmum56 yes, simply not doing it would be my choice too. There are too many constraints, it's not solvable and it's so far beyond the scope of what OP signed up to.

If you find some amazing, I dunno, vegan mushroom stroganoff which avoids all the allergens, someone will turn round and say they don't like mushrooms

Reasons why stroganoff is not right:

Many vegans seem to hate mushrooms or think they're served them too often/stroganoff is a lazy option.

You'll have the people complaining about the lack of protein.

Stroganoff is served with rice aka nasty carbs.

When you have people so particular, they'll complain about the wrong type of bread or brand of oat milk, there's no pleasing them, especially when you have a few of them, with competing preferences.

I think outwith the catering there is still a high possibility that this weekend will end up a disaster. Whatever you do, get your cash upfront!! I mean that! I know she's a friend. I know you trust her, but still get the money upfront.

With hindsight it was a mistake to send them the menus, it would have been better to ask for allergens only.

If you do decide to do it, I'd certainly not send them the new menu, but an email from the event organiser like the one suggested up thread about you being a volunteer and trying to accommodate all allergens so that everyone has something to eat at each meal, would be the way to go.

Definitely back out

Doesn't sound like you stand to make any profit and it sounds like a nightmare

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo

They are being unreasonable, it's a catered event but not a gourmet feast and they're not paying for it so they need to be happy with what they get given or bring their own snack. The only person who seems to have a valid request is the one with the tomato allergy.

Breakfast

• cornflakes
• rice crispies
• fruit

Unless they have an actual dairy allergy they can have the milk you provide or bring their own.

Lunch

• selection of wraps/sandwiches - cream cheese and cucumber, falafel and hummus, cheese and coleslaw/onion, tuna Mayo & sweetcorn
• selection of salads
• crisps
• fruit and something like brownies/rocky road/shortbread

All of this can be tomato free or you can have a salad with tomatoes and one without.

Dinner - a couple of options only each evening or go buffet style with meze/tapas style food.

• jacket potatoes with vegetable chilli
• Thai curry/ butternut squash curry/ sweet potato curry and rice
• bbq feast- vege sausages, burgers, corn on the cob, coleslaw, veg kebabs, jacket potatoes
• vegetarian meze meal, stuff like this www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/apr/12/yotam-ottolengh-vegetarian-mezze-recipes

The people who can't eat gluten have a valid point too.

I don't think the OP is doing this for profit or getting paid. She's doing it as a favor for a friend.

Soup might be your friend for lunch with gluten free and normal bread.

Does fully catered include biscuits or cake with tea and coffee breaks? Are you clear how far your budget needs to stretch?

I think you need professional caterers with insurance.
I do think the folk going have been given too high expectations or are a bit too expectant themselves. I’m coeliac and some events cater well, some badly and some not at all - I don’t actually expect to be catered for at events and find it a bonus if I am - it’s worse when folk think they’ve catered but they actually haven’t properly - either I have to look ungrateful or risk being ill.

For the severe tomato allergy, you need a new chopping board and knife and disposable gloves. I know it seems OTT, but at work we had a person with a severe orange allergy who was hospitalised because the same chopping board had been used.
I would still back out though.
When is the event?

I would cater for allergies. But not for preferences. But if it's getting that complicated I'd pull out completely.

@Pluvia I am also mystified by the suggestions of making chilli. How do you make chilli with no tomato, onion, garlic, spice, lentils, pulses, quorn or soya? Maybe they expect you to cook with dust and foraged nettles (organic)

Prioritise the people with allergies, and ensure there are 1 or 2 veggie/vegan options (unless veggies are in majority?)

I wouldn’t like a veggie only catered event tbh, no meat and things like quorn and chickpeas; sounds grim. Much easier to cook say a side of beef or a meat stew and let the veggies have a separate veggie option (veggie/vegan is a choice not a necessity so I wouldn’t give them priority!)