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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: Catering nightmare

207 replies

Pluvia · 08/02/2022 21:50

A friend who is manager of a small charity has been awarded a grant which she's using for a two-day training break for workers and volunteers. They'll be staying in a large private house. Another volunteer had offered to organise the food and cook the evening meal and manage the kitchen during the training but has dropped out. I'm a good cook and I've catered for something similar in the past, so my friend asked me if I would take the work on. I said yes without much thought.

It's become a bit of a nightmare. My friend said that the meat-eaters would be happy to go veggie for a couple of days so I emailed all involved with a proposed menu and a couple of alternatives. The usual choice of veggie lasagnes, bolognese, Mexican, a Mac and cauliflower cheese. I proposed various breakfast and lunch options too.

There are 14-18 people to cater for and I've been inundated with feedback. Several of them want a low-carb option for each meal. There are three gluten-intolerant. One of the vegetarians can't eat Quorn, someone else can't take soya and a number have said 'no lentils or pulses.' There are people who can't eat anything spicy, a woman who is dangerously allergic to tomatoes, another who can't eat onions or garlic. Even the muesli is contentious: someone's replied saying she doesn't like nuts in muesli. I've been asked to assure one of them that all produce will be organic where possible. Someone else wants spelt bread. One person wants a specific brand of oat milk (can't drink anything else). I could go on and on.

The budget for all this is quite tight. I've got £8 pppd, which sounds okay but of course I have to buy extra in case everyone wants cooked veggie breakfasts both days and that also includes drinks. I can't afford to go all-organic. Nor can I work out how to offer a low-carb veggie/ vegan menu.

I told my friend, the manager, that this was all getting out of hand and she said that I should just do what I can and to those with allergies and dietary requirement I couldn't cater for would need to bring their own food. I called the woman with the tomato allergy to ask her if she could bring her own food for each evening meal to be on the safe side and she was quite shirty with me and pointed out that this was supposed to be a fully-catered event.

This is beginning to feel like a huge ask. It's going to take days of planning to ensure everyone is catered for. I'm going to have to buy a lot more stuff to cover more different meals. AIBU to back out now on the basis that this wasn't the relatively simple job it seemed to be, and that I'm doomed to disappoint/ fail? Or am I over-thinking it? Are there workarounds?

OP posts:
lljkk · 09/02/2022 22:22

I'm enjoying the challenge...
Would this menu work?

Breakfast: baked beans, scrambled eggs, fruit, toast, cereal, spreads. Can the tomato-allergic person handle ketchup on the premises? or tomatoes in canned baked beans?

Lunch: Jacket potatoes with a range of toppings (som low carb that can be consumed without potato, like egg/tuna mayo salad). Side salad

Supper: carrot soup, mushroom soup, steamed veggies, rice.

Graphista · 09/02/2022 22:40

Had a longer post written and it's been lost

Basically pull out now!

You will be legally liable if anything goes wrong for anything from "just" food poisoning (which your comment on salmonella shows how lacking in knowledge you are on food safety) to potentially a fatality due to anaphylaxis!

Could you live with yourself if someone died? Or was life changing level harmed? Can you afford to be sued? Do you even know - as many pps have said and was my 2nd thought - if there is public liability cover? I very much doubt there is as for something like this most reputable insurers wouldn't insure someone who hasn't even basic food handling and hygiene certification

It's not a private party it's an official event it doesn't matter that they're volunteers there's a legal duty of care there.

I spent many years volunteering with guides, scouts, and other organisations over the years and if anyone was responsible for catering they were required to have training and accreditation and public liability insurance cover.

This is a disaster waiting to happen!

And given how fussy and awkward they're being at this stage, the slightest hint of a dicky tummy and you'll get no end of grief!

I agree it's blindingly obvious why the 1st person dropped out!

The insurance issue is for YOUR protection! We're not being awkward for the sake of it we're trying to make sure you look out for yourself. You could be sued for £££ and you could even face criminal charges.

I’m moving to Scotland from England so I hope for lots of mac and cheese and other tasty things 🤤

3 words

Macaroni cheese pie Wink

Personally I'd have got shirty back but the older I get the less fucks I give

Yep same! The benefits of getting older and wiser!

diddl · 10/02/2022 10:56

"Macaroni cheese pie"

Is that a bit dry-does it need cheese sauce with it?Grin

hugr · 10/02/2022 10:57

@RocketAndAFuckingMelon

Sweet potatoes and potatoes contain the same amount of carbs

Graphista · 10/02/2022 12:03

Macaroni cheese pie not dry. Yummy! It's Mac cheese made with a sauce used as a filling in a hot water crust pastry pie case topped with either grated cheese or mashed potato piped across

TigerLilyTail · 11/02/2022 03:55

I feel like the macaroni cheese pie needs to be served with a large portion of chips.

OP, you really don't need an excuse to get out of this if you don't want to do it. Just say it's a lot more work than you first realised and you think she'd be better getting in someone professional. You're a good friend but catering for 18 is hard work at the best of times, with all these dietary requirements its a nightmare and you're not even getting paid for it. I just wonder why you would do it.

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/02/2022 04:20

I would prep a menu that gives you a vegan/veggie menu that covers the allergies but not the food preferences.

Something like baked potato with xyz (savoury beans (tomato free, non spicy), cheese, butter, vegan cheese/butter alternatives, vegan chilli (with tomato, spicy), salad.

Two sorts of soup - again one spicy one not, both vegan - offer salad, bread and butter/bread and vegan spread.

No bloody cooked breakfast - selection of normal breakfast cereals, plus fruit salad, toast, vegan and veggie spreads.

Allow people to book that if they want it, or bring their own food if they do not - give food booked people a ticket for their food to stop greedy fuckers tucking into pre booked food.

That way if someone cannot find something they can eat... they can opt out of paying for a meal and bring their own.

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