AIBU: Catering nightmare

[Pluvia]

A friend who is manager of a small charity has been awarded a grant which she's using for a two-day training break for workers and volunteers. They'll be staying in a large private house. Another volunteer had offered to organise the food and cook the evening meal and manage the kitchen during the training but has dropped out. I'm a good cook and I've catered for something similar in the past, so my friend asked me if I would take the work on. I said yes without much thought.

It's become a bit of a nightmare. My friend said that the meat-eaters would be happy to go veggie for a couple of days so I emailed all involved with a proposed menu and a couple of alternatives. The usual choice of veggie lasagnes, bolognese, Mexican, a Mac and cauliflower cheese. I proposed various breakfast and lunch options too.

There are 14-18 people to cater for and I've been inundated with feedback. Several of them want a low-carb option for each meal. There are three gluten-intolerant. One of the vegetarians can't eat Quorn, someone else can't take soya and a number have said 'no lentils or pulses.' There are people who can't eat anything spicy, a woman who is dangerously allergic to tomatoes, another who can't eat onions or garlic. Even the muesli is contentious: someone's replied saying she doesn't like nuts in muesli. I've been asked to assure one of them that all produce will be organic where possible. Someone else wants spelt bread. One person wants a specific brand of oat milk (can't drink anything else). I could go on and on.

The budget for all this is quite tight. I've got £8 pppd, which sounds okay but of course I have to buy extra in case everyone wants cooked veggie breakfasts both days and that also includes drinks. I can't afford to go all-organic. Nor can I work out how to offer a low-carb veggie/ vegan menu.

I told my friend, the manager, that this was all getting out of hand and she said that I should just do what I can and to those with allergies and dietary requirement I couldn't cater for would need to bring their own food. I called the woman with the tomato allergy to ask her if she could bring her own food for each evening meal to be on the safe side and she was quite shirty with me and pointed out that this was supposed to be a fully-catered event.

This is beginning to feel like a huge ask. It's going to take days of planning to ensure everyone is catered for. I'm going to have to buy a lot more stuff to cover more different meals. AIBU to back out now on the basis that this wasn't the relatively simple job it seemed to be, and that I'm doomed to disappoint/ fail? Or am I over-thinking it? Are there workarounds?

@HotToddyColdSauvignon

Whoa. You’re not even being paid for this AND you’re taking leave for do it?

Apologise to your friend and pull out. Someone else has already quit the job, that’s got to be a sign.
Run

I missed the point you weren't being paid... And taking leave..??!

Sod that.. Wirh this level of tiresome cómplexity, apart from the heavily allergic person... Poor woman...

You risk having loads of work/cost and no one happy...

People whi start sayibg stuff like... I only want oat milk that is thjs make... And vegetarians who don't fancy pulsrs... And on 8£pppd.

They can all sort themselves... You are not a hotel or cafe...

Ive voluntarily done similar... Now if i agrre at all..

I promise i won't serve people their trigger foods when they're very allergic... Others than that... I ask people if there is ONE thing they won't eat abd ONE thing they prefer.... And i TRY and work aroubd this... But no promises...

The last one was quite easy... No tripe /rabbit or lobster😂 that was easy to do!

Your mistake was sharing the menus and inviting feedback. Next time just ask for dietary requirements.

Absolutely cater for allergies and medical needs but preferences like low carb and different muesli ignore.

Thanks for all the continuing ideas. I've got a very busy day's work ahead so can't guarantee any responses.

I've double-checked the gluten people and all say they are intolerant, none of them say they're actually allergic or coeliac. I hope one of them turns out to be coeliac because that's my ticket out of the situation.

I'm a volunteer. The previous person was a volunteer. Is there some law against volunteers providing food for what is effectively a private house party? There's no meat or fish to go off/give people salmonella and I'm not Typhoid Mary

There's absolutely nothing to stop volunteers catering an event. But there needs to be insurance in place. The charity needs insurance that covers food provision. It's definitely something you should because otherwise you could be sued in the event that one of these preferences turns out to be a medical allergy.

Be careful with pea pasta as many who don't eat garlic or onions due to FODMAPS, will also have problems with peas, legumes and pulses too.

I don't envy you OP, good luck!

That sounds like a nightmare - frankly I would back out!

I would actually pull out of this. What if you did accidentally set off an allergy? It sounds like the people are picky and likely to complain. I just wouldn't do it. At work, we have vegan, vegetarian, meat and gluten-free options. Anything more specialist than that would be really problematic.

I don't know why you are doing this, as you are not going to be thanked (from entitled people banging on about low carb!!!) and there is a risk you could make someone really ill if you get something wrong.

This sounds a nightmare! I would be concerned about insurance and all the grief you will get on the weekend. I just wouldn't do it.

A few years ago my friend catered for one of our work parties and it was meat or veg chilli and rice; absolutely gorgeous and quite cheap. But all this sounds very expensive and hard work. You are not running a hotel or a cafe.

I'd back out and tell the organiser that you didn't realise what you were taking on when you agreed to do the job. I've got a level 2 in Food Hygiene and Safety in Catering and I wouldn't take it on. All the allergen stuff now is so onerous and as a PP said I'm not sure where you stand on the insurance issue. And if something (even non-dangerous) went wrong, these people sound like they would kick up a fuss.

For the low carb breakfast a few kg of Greek yoghurt to have with the fruit should do the trick.

For the salads, I would not even bother to assemble them into something 'nice'. Cut up lots of lettuce, cucumber, onions, maybe peppers and lay them out in individual plates. Have a couple of dressings and garnishes (nuts?) available too. Could also have tomatoes - maybe baby ones so you don't have to cut them and risk contamination - in a separate bowl. Then people can choose the items they want and you don't get stress about "is there garlic in the dressing?" And "I don't like walnuts" etc.

Tbh I would similarly deconstruct the main evening meals (and abandon the no meat option). Have a simple carb like rice or a dal, a meat protein (burgers one day, fish the other?) and a vegan protein (plant based burgers? Stuffed field mushrooms?) Then people can select what they want and avoid the bits they don't. But the Mac&cheese options also sound reasonable.

Keep it all really simple and as low effort as possible though. Particularly as it is a working meeting for the attendees so you might also be doing all the washing/clearing up on your own.

Word of warning. Because it's a private house with a standard kitchen, people are going to be wanting to come in and out all the time - "can I just make a quick tea?" etc. I would be really strict about saying no to this, especially because of the allergies. Set it as an expectation at the beginning of the weekend that only you will be using the kitchen. If at all possible, sup a tea/coffee station somewhere else in the house - with one of those big water boilers and some jugs if possible. Similarly, serve food outside of the kitchen - or invite people in at the last minute if the only table is in the kitchen. Otherwise it will start with tea and end with someone insisting they will just whip up their favourite dish (with your ingredients for tomorrow) while you are trying to plate up dinner.

I might want to be similarly strict about serving. Get people to line up and serve it to them (with a volunteer to help if possible). It sounds like more work but it will help to minimise cross contamination or some jerk taking triple quantities of the vegan dish leaving nothing for anyone else. If people want more, you can have over-catered each option by say 10% but make them come back for seconds after everyone has been served.

Make sure you price everything up properly. Also check if you're supposed to provide teas and coffees. Whatever happens, don't end up out of pocket for this.

Anyone who wants specific brands of anything brings their own.

This reminds me of Below Deck where the crew are catering to 8 different fussy palates! At least they have an unlimited budget 😂

Don’t know if anyone has suggested jacket potatoes? Range of fillings can work for most diets

We’re a vegetarian coeliac family with allergies to celery/nuts/shellfish/oats/cinnamon so I cook from scratch most of the time, beyond meat burgers available at Costco are vegan and gluten free so would cover off a few groups in one go as someone further up suggested a burger night. Curry/chilli are also surprisingly easy to mass cater for multiple groups of needs

Is the event being held anywhere near a supermarket? Is there a fridge and microwave available?
If so maybe give them £8 per day each and let them buy their own.

that's my ticket out of the situation.

You really don't need a ticket out of this situation.

The person asking you to do this has significantly underestimated what is require and the budget that would be necessary.

Even though the first candidate had already pulled out. It might be difficult upfront to say sorry this is not doable but it really is the best thing to do at this stage.

You would be doing her a favour.

___

This was my first response before I saw you are now seeing the issues and feeling that a ticket out would be welcome

Don't pretend, just tell her straight it can't be done in the current way. Kinder in the long run.

___

I can see the temptation to go with @maddening's solution which is brilliant and could work, in the right circumstances.

The reason I still urgently counsel you to not go ahead is exactly because, as many PP's have pointed out, the participants have unrealistic expectations of the 'fully catered event'.

Perhaps it's not just the volunteers looking to be acknowledged and rewarded by non-financial ways.

If you are thinking that you can still pull this off by catering for most, think ahead to how you will feel on the day. Having taken time off, worked your socks off only to be confronted with complaints on all sides.

Your friend who is running the event needs to do a major reset on the participants to get clear that they should be grateful for anything at all. That will not be a popular message in advance and may even impact attendance. Better that than a string of complaints and unrest.

Or worse. There is indeed no law against catering for a private party. This is not a private party unless the charity is not licences.

The charity if it is offering to cater for allergies is giving its self a heap of trouble. Likewise expecting to navigate around food preferences is lovely but really really tricky. Even if the complaint is ultimately dismissed, just imagine what your life will be like while it is going on.

I realise that I am extrapolating from my own experience but my sample size is quite large. Setting expectations correctly around what food can reasonably be provided is key to a successful event.

Every army marches on its stomach.

The suggestion above

Hi Pluvia.
You have all my sympathy. I'm a retired chef of 44 years standing, and even I wouldn't take this job on. Back out now, and don't feel guilty. You were doing her a favour, it's not working out. It's very complex.
We used to host events like this during conference time after the students went down for summer.
We had a team of 4 and it was still a juggling act.
Please don't do this it will be a nightmare. She will have to hire caterers.
Good luck.

If this lot were my staff I would be reading them the riot act for speaking to an external in this way. For caterer events you notify allergies, but you don’t place orders- as for you worrying about individual brands, do these people never eat at restaurants? Even if they were to order their own food, the brands wouldn’t be exact.
They are taking the absolute Michael. Tell your friend, she needs to rein her staff in and they need to be a bit more polite and kind.

@MostIneptThatEverStepped

Anyone who wants specific brands of anything brings their own.

This reminds me of Below Deck where the crew are catering to 8 different fussy palates! At least they have an unlimited budget 😂

I was also thinking about Below Deck because they always end up asking for stuff that wasn't on their preference sheets and saying they hate stuff that wasn't written on their preference sheets. Then the chef ends up swearing a lot!!

Fizzorgin

Are you insured to actually do this, as others have asked?

I'm a volunteer. The previous person was a volunteer. Is there some law against volunteers providing food for what is effectively a private house party? There's no meat or fish to go off/give people salmonella and I'm not Typhoid Mary.

The question about insurance wasn't an unreasonable one. This is an organisation who are requiring people, including staff, to attend, which is very different to a private house party. Hats off to you for doing it all, but just make sure your backside is covered, as like you said, no good deed goes unpunished. I think your idea of keep it simple buffets are the best way forward BTW.

I would honestly be tempted to do buffets for everything. That way they can pick and choose. You could have salads, jacket potatoes, varies things like sausages (meat and veggie), pasta, make your own sandwiches (gluten free and normal bread) then surely no one could complain

I would do buffets for every meal, and have a printed list of ingredients on each dish. People can then select their own meals.

Its a work event so work rules apply 😣

Health and safety and Non discrimination legislation apply
If you have no official training in food handling you are putting yourself out on a liability limb.
Medical conditions have to be catered for.
So do religions requirements its a protected characteristic.
Gluten free is can be a medical condition. No quorm can be an allergic reaction to some ingredient.

My suggestion would be send the menu in its current form to the manager. Have her put it up as an open document.
Staff have 2 thinking days 2 days to make amendments.
Staff pick a meal and a cleanup. 2 days 3 meals

Then each staff member can work out changes to the menu provided its in budget.
NB staff have to sign off on ingredients or subsitute with alternative
Use the local supermarket website for pricing

Set up Excel to track changes and work out the price per meal.
Its individual staffs responsibility to look at the products
The end menu has to be signed off by staff.

Product page
[Set up as a list for a dropdown menu on the recipe pages]
Product > BeanX
Brand > expensiveRus
Web link> localsupermarket.com
Product price >79p
BeanX per product > 100 grams

Recipe template page Meal Y
[Setup to pull relevant data from Product page]
Product > BeanX (link to product page)
Quantity > 100 grams
Feeds pp > 4
Total pp : 14
Needed = (14/4)×100=350 grams
BeanX per can > 100 grams
Cans > roundup(350/100)= 4
Can price >79p
Total cost = £3.16
Etc
Recipe cost = £45.50
Meal cost > £42.00 (14×3.00)
Recipe approved = if (RC>MC,"too expensive adjust recipes", if(RC=MC,"get allergic approval", (if ..)))

Staff start a new tab for a new tweek to the menu.

People can check source ingredients and swap meal ideas as team building.

Manager can be happy that if the team survive the task of arranging to feed themselves they will be able to help prep and serve meals and NB clean up afterwards.

Back out!

Your friend needs to pay for professional caterers who deal with allergies and intolerances all the time and have liability insurance!

I think your friend needs to rethink the whole weekend tbh. If it’s a small charity then I really doubt the best use of this grant is to spend it on weekend accommodation. Can’t she run the training without the trip away? Would make the money stretch much further.

Anyway, you talk about a ticket out of the situation …. You don’t need a ticket. You can say no right now (and you should). Taking time off work to do this is very generous of you but it’s too much, OP. Are you one of those very thoughtful and selfless people who tends to give too much in relationships? I suggest - kindly! - that if you feel you can’t say no in this situation, perhaps you need to consider your boundaries. Strengthen them. Don’t be quite so generous with your time and skills in future - your friend is expecting too much from you and she should be able to see that given that she’s already lost one caterer.

No wonder the other person dropped out.

I would offer a vegan chili and meat chili, with a choice of rice or baked potato, and bread and salad(s).

You need to label the allergens, but not necessarily avoid them.

It's worth doing a Level 2 Food Hygiene course (1 - 2 hours online).