Is 12am too late to be hanging around outside for 15 year olds ?

[GreekGod]

Over the weekend, four of our DD friends all 15 years old were involved in an awful accident and two of the girls are still in intensive care and they are in a critical condition. This has shook our community to the core and I just can't stop thinking about the parents who we know really well. Basically a car driven by an 18 year old at a great speed who just got his license hit two of the girls and the other two had minor injuries. The accident happened outside a coffee shop that is full of teenagers every Saturday night (13 to 16 year olds). My DD was also going to go out that evening to the same place but cancelled at the last minute as we were invited out to a family birthday meal. The accident happened at 12am on Sunday morning and today at the school there was a general discussion by some of the parents saying that they would never allow their children out that late and that the accident would never happened at an earlier time. They talked about attacks and rapes, joyriding and all sorts. We do allow DD out that late. She is a good kid, achieves excellent grades and is very respectful. She is also mature for her age. But it got me thinking. Are we wrong in allowing a 15 year old out at 12am in a group outside in a town with other 15 year olds? My DD could have quite easily been in intensive care herself and I now feel awfully guilty in giving her this freedom that could harm her ? I am so confused. AIBU in allowing a 15 year old to stay out till after 12am ?

I think given the circumstances/ culture it’s fine. It’s probably the equivalent of 10/11 in the UK.

I think it’s funny that so many people are talking about parties / sleep overs as the ultimate safe space. When I was a teenage we got up to the most trouble at parties / sleepovers. Much more than when we were out a cafe / restaurant / cinema. Even if the parents were home they weren’t usually supervising closely.

Car accidents and teenagers are awful. When I was in school there was a horrific accident directly after school as a result of speeding and crazy teen driving. Several young people died and the driver had life altering injuries. I hope in this case everyone recovers quickly.

Because the op says they didn't worry about it before the accident, the community didn't worry about it before the accident. This is in Greece, near a cafe that is happy to have youngsters, not some shirts lawless town in the UK where only degenerates and drunks are hanging out (I wouldn't be in my local town at midnight either)

Or, maybe they did worry about it and their own children weren’t allowed out but after the fact there was open discussion about it.

Been to plenty of Greek towns I wasn’t keen on at midnight either.

They are 15 not 10 and a knee jerk reaction to stop them doing something on the back of a terrible accident is banning their freedoms. The car accident could have happened at 9pm

It’s not about whether those girls are 10. My question was, at which age do you think “banning freedoms” (or responsible parenting as most people call it) of children is appropriate?

what has made a huge impact on me in the comments is the lack of trust and respect a lot of posters have for young people today and the suspicions a lot of people have for their own teenage kids which is so so sad.

My issue with this isn’t that I couldn’t trust a 15 year old girl, it is that I can’t trust others around them.

Sorry I have to agree it is too late to be hanging around in a town. Going to be unsafe at that time and all sorts could happen. Not sure what sort of cafe it is to be open that late? My DS is 17 and he has to be back by 12. So sorry about the girls being injured. Idiots showing off and going to be the case at that time of night with drinking etc involved.

I wouldn’t have allowed my kids to be hanging around the streets until midnight at aged 15 no.

I have a 15 DD . She is allowed out in the streets in the dark and she gets picked up at 11pm at a friend's house sometimes ,usually earlier . She hasn't been getting out during the week as GCSE year and sleepovers at weekend have stopped for now. Not very sensitive to talk about this whilst the girls are still very ill.

*isnt allowed

@GreekGod - so no other people come into the cafe, it’s just for teenagers? I guess if the cafe is just for teens and they don’t leave there at all it’s fairly safe. Otherwise I’d imagine anyone can come into a place they know a bunch of teens will be

Depends where you live. 15 years old and you then I don't think it is.

My DS is 15, good kid, great friends, good grades.

He's in bed by 22:00 Sun-Thu and 23:00 Fri and Sat.

So no, he wouldn't have been out at 00:00 hrs.

I didn't go out at that time until I was 17! Even then only for a special occasion (special late night film, a birthday, a wedding).

I think 10 o'clock on a weekend would be the latest. I would also do the pick up and want to know who LO is with and were. My husband and I are both youth workers we know exactly what's happening on the streets. However, accidents happen. This accident could have happened during the day or early evening. The only person at fault is the person who was driving the vehicle.