Not all men..

[Jenna19871]

Spoke to DH about this tonight and he said ‘it’s not all men though is it?’

He’s right. It’s not all men. But I have experienced so much shit that wouldn’t be accepted nowadays (not tragic shit but just not acceptable)

At 19 my drink was drugged with rohypnol in the local night club, thankfully I didn’t drink it as it tasted ‘sour’. It was caught on CCTV. The man was banned for 2 weeks. 2 weeks!!!

I’ve taken the tube and had men put their hands on my butt/legs etc with me trying to move away. I didn’t shout, I should have!

None of these are awful stories but it just goes to show that when people say it’s not all men...but it is most women.

Let me rephrase then. You never went out in an evening to hopefully meet somebody you found sexually attractive?

Do women actually do this? I never did I wouldnt set foot near a bar or club on my own thats asking for trouble they are full of dickheads.

the only times I have gone to pubs or clubs was with groups of friends to have a fun night out, celebrate birthdays, Christmas drinks, catch up with an old friend etc.

a bar or club is the last place I would look for a partner as stated full of dickheads.

@Nomoreusernames1244

As for somebody dancing close to you, the easiest thing in the world is for you to move positions on the dance floor

And again showing your ignorance.

“The easiest thing in the world”? Fuck off. It is a fucking nightmare trying to get away from a bloke that’s determined to keep grabbing you and “dancing” with you.

You move, he just moves with you. Until eventually you have to stop dancing, again modifying your behaviour to stop a man.

Jesus. men really don’t get it, do they.

They really don't do they?

As if 'simply moving away' has ever put off a pest determined to continue touching us.

Next he'll be telling us that if we don't want to get raped we should just say no more clearly and it won't happen...

He gets it fine, he’s just too much of a coward to say ‘you’re right, I’ll do better’. Much easier to blame women.

Ah, I see the old "she was out on the pull so she must be up for it with anyone" argument has been pulled out.

Newsflash. Even if a woman has gone out with the intention to "pull" it doesn't give a random bloke the right to start touching her up or not take no for an answer.

Believe it or not, even women wanting a shag still have the right to choose who they want to get intimate with.

Dude, get a life.

You're useless,you don't care and can't and don't want to do anything. We get your point. Fine.

Behold the Nice Guy ™️

@Youarefakenews
You have massively outed yourself here as you have admitted men have the right to touch women's bodies and if a woman is dancing she's asking for it, and it's up to the woman to say no or make him stop after the fact. I take it you are speaking from experience of being a man in such scenarios? You don't need to answer that because you've made it pretty clear that you're one of those guys just by your defensive attitude. And the thing is we do tell security, we have reported things to the police, omg we shout it from the bloody rooftops and still none of you are listening! But in your words, it is our issue to sort out anyway, as if we have asked for it or deserve it in some way, as if something is wrong with us. The issue here, quite frankly, is men. Men as a fucking group. Not an individual creep down some dark alleyway. It's men. And yes that includes you.

@Youarefakenews

Frankly the responders in this thread must be the exception to the rule. I was going about town at the height of Britpop, Girl Power & the ladette. Women most definately went out to meet sexual partners. Be that a snog or a full blown knee trembler somewhere.

Watch any of the fly on the wall Police shows that have been filmed on a weekend night. They will show countless women snogging lads (and lasses). It will show any amount of women deliberately flashing their bodies for the camera. Just the same as the lads are doing.

If you think a lad coming up to you and trying to dance is unacceptable then sorry in my eyes you are wrong. It would only become wrong if he didn't move away when you asked. That is what the doormen are there for. Go tell them.

Likewise someone touching your arm, side, small of your back is not you being sexually assaulted. If you take the time to read the legal guidance one of you posted, there has to be sexual intent for it to be sexual assault.

The same as a man looking at an attractive legal age woman is not a crime. You many not think the guy is attractive but you cannot dictate who can and cannot look at you when out in public.

But to get back to what those in this thread seem to want, use the tools you are given at the time. Your stood at the bar and a man touches your bum, tell the bar staff who can get security.

Your boss touches you in an indecent manner, report him to either his senior or the Police and ask for witnesses.

Somebody fakes a pic of you, again report and ask for witnesses.

It is up to you to be proactive, don't rely on the men (and women) who are around you to solve your issue. In many cases they probably didn't even know an incident has occurred.

Want to alienate those you ae asking to support you, carry on blaming all men for the actions of some.

We’re already doing this. It’s not working.

You’ve done All Men a massive disservice on this thread.

It is up to you to be proactive, don't rely on the men (and women) who are around you to solve your issue.

And there you are. We see you. You're not a nice guy.

You've made the NAMALT position weaker with every post you've made.

Go find a subreddit with plenty of incels you can complain to about how women are complaining about assault the wrong way.

Because frankly you're doing is being patronising and entitled while refusing to engage meaningfully at all.

Off you pop.

I suggest we all stop feeding it. He's had more than enough examples of harassment and assault listed to get himself excited and more than enough robust and sensible arguments to take back to his MRA pals.

@Youarefakenews

Frankly the responders in this thread must be the exception to the rule. I was going about town at the height of Britpop, Girl Power & the ladette. Women most definately went out to meet sexual partners. Be that a snog or a full blown knee trembler somewhere.

Watch any of the fly on the wall Police shows that have been filmed on a weekend night. They will show countless women snogging lads (and lasses). It will show any amount of women deliberately flashing their bodies for the camera. Just the same as the lads are doing.

If you think a lad coming up to you and trying to dance is unacceptable then sorry in my eyes you are wrong. It would only become wrong if he didn't move away when you asked. That is what the doormen are there for. Go tell them.

Likewise someone touching your arm, side, small of your back is not you being sexually assaulted. If you take the time to read the legal guidance one of you posted, there has to be sexual intent for it to be sexual assault.

The same as a man looking at an attractive legal age woman is not a crime. You many not think the guy is attractive but you cannot dictate who can and cannot look at you when out in public.

But to get back to what those in this thread seem to want, use the tools you are given at the time. Your stood at the bar and a man touches your bum, tell the bar staff who can get security.

Your boss touches you in an indecent manner, report him to either his senior or the Police and ask for witnesses.

Somebody fakes a pic of you, again report and ask for witnesses.

It is up to you to be proactive, don't rely on the men (and women) who are around you to solve your issue. In many cases they probably didn't even know an incident has occurred.

Want to alienate those you ae asking to support you, carry on blaming all men for the actions of some.

So basically, don't expect men to stop being inappropriate, to stop sexually assaulting women, to stop hitting women, to stop raping women, to stop murdering women, women need to be better at how they deal with it. The baseline then is men abusing women day in and day out and if we want that to stop then we have to change, and if we want the 'good men' who don't do it to support us, then we have to dance to your tune and fill a set of conditions first.

Pretty much what every woman has said on this thread, that you're desperate to deny.

You are an absolute fucking disgrace youarefakenews

Its all a bit "if you stop complaining then it will stop happening" now

How embarrassing for us "ladies" that we didn't realise all we had to do was either move away physically (because clearly no men will follow us), say no (because clearly all men respect no means no) or report to the police (because clearly conviction rates and sentences aren't an absolute joke) and the issue of violence against us will be solved!

Thank god such a wise man came to explain that we've been being victims the wrong way AND complaining the wrong way too - how silly of us!

On the plus side though, @Youarefakenews ‘s girlfriend is happy to intervene if she thinks women are being harassed. So at least there is one decent person in that household.

@Pumperthepumper

On the plus side though, *@Youarefakenews* ‘s girlfriend is happy to intervene if she thinks women are being harassed. So at least there is one decent person in that household.

This is true.

Imagine the lectures she gets from him for intervening in what he no doubt views as the wrong way, to help women who may well actually have been enjoying. Like a bosses crotch against their back in the office for example. Something we famously bloody love 🙄

there has to be sexual intent for it to be sexual assault.

Interesting that you have decided you know what the intent is in literally every situation*......

....where courts and juries takes ages to deliberate on that usually.

(* some of them even hypothetical! Astonishing insight you have there)

PP: Here is a hypothetical situation for your thoughts

MRA type poster: In that specific hypothetical situation (including a boss pressing his crotch against an employee) the woman wanted it so the man was giving her what she wanted

PP: But it's a hypothetical, how do you know what the hypothetical women feels and what the hypothetical man's intent is?

MRA type poster: You aren't going to get men on side (the side of not wanting harassment, assault, rape etc to be tolerated and minimised, ever) with that kind of attitude, ladies.

PP: You need to be persuaded to be 'on board' with women fighting against harassment, assault and rape being tolerated and minimised? Really?

MRA type poster - verbatim: "It is up to you to be proactive, don't rely on the men (and women) who are around you to solve your issue."

This man has a female partner. Presumably female friends, family and colleagues. I can only hope no female kids. Or male kids being raised around this toxic attitude tbh.

Terrifying. And terrifyingly commonplace.

I’m just amazed at one of the “Good men” showing up on this thread to tell women that the issue isn’t men being assaulted.. it’s our perception that men are problematic.

If only we thought about men differently women would’ve raped less and assaulted less.. murdered by men less.

See ladies.. the problem isn’t men. It’s you saying men are harming you. If we all just decided to stop believing a huge huge number of men are dangerous then.. “poof” like magic.. those murder and rape stats will go down.

And all we need was a man to tell us this. Thank god for this “Good man” for getting us in line!

Sorry typo.. women being assaulted

You’ve done All Men a massive disservice on this thread

👍

The difficulty is its so normalised its hard to see. Like I could think it's never happened to me, then I have a deeper think and remember…oh yeah…it did. So blokes who its not happened to are going to find it exponentially harder to see it

@MarshmallowSwede

I’m just amazed at one of the “Good men” showing up on this thread to tell women that the issue isn’t men being assaulted.. it’s our perception that men are problematic.

If only we thought about men differently women would’ve raped less and assaulted less.. murdered by men less.

See ladies.. the problem isn’t men. It’s you saying men are harming you. If we all just decided to stop believing a huge huge number of men are dangerous then.. “poof” like magic.. those murder and rape stats will go down.

And all we need was a man to tell us this. Thank god for this “Good man” for getting us in line!

And not only is it our fault that we say too often that men hurt us, it's also (according to one of the posters who said that) simultaneously our fault that we don't say often enough when men hurt us!

We should 'simply move away' or 'jump up and down' and all will be well. Thank god he appeared to share such wisdom.

Nomoreusernames1244

As for somebody dancing close to you, the easiest thing in the world is for you to move positions on the dance floor

Move positions ..?

I politely refused a dance, only for the man to call me a stuck up bitch, shouting in my face aggressively.

& Im by no means small/slight - I can take care of myself. But it was still frightening. I moved away, he followed shouting luckily security eventually spotted him and threw him out.

All of that, just hecause I didnt want to dance with him.

But anyway these type of threads are haunted by trolls out to mock and gaslight women. Clear example of why NAMALT is bullshit. Attacks on women can and do manifest in many ways - physically, emotionally, verbally and anonymously.

Here's a woman who was out clubbing and tried to move away from a man who wouldn't stop coming on to her. He broke her nose. The club staff knew an assault had taken place, so I'm sure they rushed to help her, right? No. Actually they pretended to call the police and then allowed the guy who'd committed the assault to leave. Its almost as if certain men on this thread have no idea what they're talking about.