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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH gave his female coworker a lift home past midnight

364 replies

Hexagonmum · 05/02/2022 22:49

So my husband went to a works drink after work on Friday, around midnight he messaged me asking if he should get us a McDonald's, replied back saying in bed but yeah why not.
A few mins later I had no response back from him whether he was going to get McDonald's or not so I called him and I could tell he was in the car when he answered. I mentioned get the takeaway and he said do I want fries and when I was about to respond I hear a female voice. He was giving one of his coworkers a lift home past midnight!
This I'm not going to lie really got my back up.
Am I reading too much into this???

OP posts:
boredwithfoodprob · 06/02/2022 08:38

I’d feel the same about him giving a lift home to a man. It’s just nicer than someone having to get a taxi/bus/walk isn’t it? It’s a small gesture of kindness, nothing else.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 06/02/2022 08:41

I would have been angry if he'd let her walk home by herself.

Lovemusic33 · 06/02/2022 08:41

I don’t see the issue, he offered her a lift home, saved her walking alone or paying for a taxi, doesn’t mean he wants to f&ck her does it? Means he’s a good friend for offering?

I think you either have huge trust issues or there is more to this story?

Gowithme · 06/02/2022 08:42

If something was going on and he didn't want you to know he wouldn't have answered the phone when you rang and he wouldn't have been thinking about getting you chips.

Lifeslooser · 06/02/2022 08:43

That’s nice of him, and she spoke whilst you was on the phone, so clearly nothing to hide and nothing going on.

Joinedforthis22 · 06/02/2022 08:46

Most of us can sort our own transport out.

She did, she was offered a lift and then took it, do you expect her to refuse the lift and spend money on a taxi just because the OP has trust issues.

Some really nasty people on this thread who see the worst in people and like to poke the hornets nest.

Sam1111 · 06/02/2022 08:52

I don’t think you should worry..
maybe the co worker couldn’t get a taxi and your husband was just being chivalrous by taking her home. It’s happened to me before and there was nothing in it but a lift home.

Callingallskeletons · 06/02/2022 08:59

Right so you’d rather her left her to get home safe alone? Despite having his car?

Sorry OP but unless there’s a massive drip feed backstory you’re being totally unreasonable (frankly batshit) I’ll give anyone from work a lift home after leaving do’s/drinks if it means them not struggling to get back themselves- shockingly I don’t dictate who’s allowed in the car on the basis of what’s between their legs

MrsTimRiggins · 06/02/2022 09:02

Yeah he’s a proper cunt @Toanewstart23 😂

MingeofDeath · 06/02/2022 09:03

grow up

saleorbouy · 06/02/2022 09:04

He saw a lone female colleague home late at night, he's being nice.
You obviously don't trust him for some reason. How would you like for a work colleague to leave you stranded queueing for a taxi when they're going close to your home.
He sounds a thoughtful guy who arrived home with munchies too.

FlamingRoses · 06/02/2022 09:04

Thank god he did. Why wouldn’t he?

pilates · 06/02/2022 09:08

Not a big deal.

What I have got a problem with is eating McDonald’s at midnight in bed🤮

Toanewstart23 · 06/02/2022 09:09

@MrsTimRiggins

Yeah he’s a proper cunt *@Toanewstart23* 😂
You said it! Grin
NETSRIK · 06/02/2022 09:11

If she is Cinderella then fair enough as I can see midnight being a problem with losing glass slippers etc. but if not then so what?

Welshgal85 · 06/02/2022 09:13

Yes you are BU, he was being kind to a friend. why don’t you trust him? Sounds like something you need to have a think about

Mellowyellow222 · 06/02/2022 09:34

@TheVolturi

Yep I agree that he did nothing wrong but I'm a bit 🙄🙄🙄 at everyone making it it's the mans responsibility to get the woman home?? Why? There are taxis! It's a bit like awwww poor defenceless woman needs big brave safe lovely man to take her home, errrr, OK. Most of us can sort our own transport out.
I often drive at work functions - usually give a few people a lift home.

No gender issues - just a nice thing to do when you have a car and people would otherwise be standing in the cold for hours waiting for taxis.

I suppose there is a greater danger for women getting home also be after dark. Sad but that’s the words we live in

Lovemusic33 · 06/02/2022 09:35

@pilates

Not a big deal.

What I have got a problem with is eating McDonald’s at midnight in bed🤮

My thought exactly….who wants to eat a McDonald’s in bed after midnight 🤢?

I’m not even sure what midnight has to do with it…or the McDonald’s 🤔

NETSRIK · 06/02/2022 09:38

And I agree the only strange thing is a McDonalds once you're in bed 🤢🤮

PrivateHall · 06/02/2022 09:40

Sorry op but what a horrible thread. My DH can be quite thoughtless and may well not have thought to offer her a lift, which would piss me off a hell of a lot more than what your dh did. The fact he thought to ring to offer to get you food makes your point of view even more ridiculous. Chill out and appreciate what you have.

PhoboPhobia · 06/02/2022 09:46

@TheVolturi

Yep I agree that he did nothing wrong but I'm a bit 🙄🙄🙄 at everyone making it it's the mans responsibility to get the woman home?? Why? There are taxis! It's a bit like awwww poor defenceless woman needs big brave safe lovely man to take her home, errrr, OK. Most of us can sort our own transport out.
Looking for a fight? Nobody is saying that at all. If I am at a function I am perfectly happy to make my own way home but if someone offers me a lift and it is not massively out of their way, I’ll accept.

People can do nice things for other people without it meaning something. Not everything is about men vs women.

Lorw · 06/02/2022 09:46

I’d be upset if my DH didn’t offer a colleague especially a woman a lift home at that time of night and would probably look at him differently...

BABAHOTEL · 06/02/2022 09:51

@Lorw

I’d be upset if my DH didn’t offer a colleague especially a woman a lift home at that time of night and would probably look at him differently...
What difference does the time make? Do sec and affairs only happen after nightfall? Utterly ridiculous!
stripeyflowers · 06/02/2022 09:53

I can't get over McDonalds at midnight, either.

Rosemaryandlemon · 06/02/2022 09:54

So, he went for a works night out and either didn’t drink/had one. Comes home sensible time, not drunk out of his brain.

Checked if you would like some food on way home. Double checked if you wanted fries.

Gave a female co-worker a lift (thereby avoiding public transport/having to try and get a cab late at night).

I’m now wondering if this is a reverse…