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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH gave his female coworker a lift home past midnight

364 replies

Hexagonmum · 05/02/2022 22:49

So my husband went to a works drink after work on Friday, around midnight he messaged me asking if he should get us a McDonald's, replied back saying in bed but yeah why not.
A few mins later I had no response back from him whether he was going to get McDonald's or not so I called him and I could tell he was in the car when he answered. I mentioned get the takeaway and he said do I want fries and when I was about to respond I hear a female voice. He was giving one of his coworkers a lift home past midnight!
This I'm not going to lie really got my back up.
Am I reading too much into this???

OP posts:
BABAHOTEL · 06/02/2022 07:42

[quote Yuckypretty]@BABAHOTEL because of the first line in OPs first post, it says he went for drinks.[/quote]
You do realise that pubs sell non alcohol drinks? It's perfectly acceptable to socialise and not consume alcohol.

Do you always think so badly of people?

It's also not what the OP was concerned about.

LadyPenelope68 · 06/02/2022 07:53

What’s your problem? Very bizarre reaction.

I’d be more upset if my DH hadn’t offered to give a female coworker a lift home at that time and left her to get home on her own.

Toanewstart23 · 06/02/2022 07:53

Strange he didn’t mention
But if otherwise trustworthy - I wouldn’t give it another thought
But given you stewed on it all day and then started a thread 23 hours after the “incident”
I’d hazard a guess that YOU sure as heck don’t think he is trust worthy

Toanewstart23 · 06/02/2022 07:55

@MrTumblesSpottyHag

I read the title and thought you were going to say how lovely he is. Tbh I'd expect my DH to do that and I'd do the same myself. I'd love him even more for bringing me home an unexpected midnight macds!
It’s AIBU on mumsnet

Did you really think that was what this was going to be about?!

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 06/02/2022 08:02

Fuck me op
You really do need to give your head a wobble.

You've seen the amount of women killed on their way home lately have you?

You should be proud that you've got a husband that thinks her safety is important and let's hope your never in that position eh Hmm

Yuckypretty · 06/02/2022 08:08

*You do realise that pubs sell non alcohol drinks? It's perfectly acceptable to socialise and not consume alcohol.

Do you always think so badly of people?*

No it was a genuine question, not an accusation

BABAHOTEL · 06/02/2022 08:10

@Yuckypretty

*You do realise that pubs sell non alcohol drinks? It's perfectly acceptable to socialise and not consume alcohol.

Do you always think so badly of people?*

No it was a genuine question, not an accusation

It was extremely accusatory, nothing to do with the post and jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Try and keep on topic!

Toanewstart23 · 06/02/2022 08:19

@Yuckypretty

It was a bit of a jump

Angeldust747 · 06/02/2022 08:21

I mean I have a male coworker a lift home after midnight last week.... Shit have I had an affair?! 🙄

userxx · 06/02/2022 08:23

@RedRobin100

After midnight?

Well that's the witching hour for affairs isn't it.

I'm craving a McDonald's now, what time does the breakfast menu finish ?

Josephincluded · 06/02/2022 08:25

I quite fancy a couple of hash browns now.

BABAHOTEL · 06/02/2022 08:26

@Josephincluded

I quite fancy a couple of hash browns now.
Me to!!
MrsTimRiggins · 06/02/2022 08:27

He sounds like a nice guy. I hope you enjoyed your late night McDonald’s, you heathen Wink
Fwiw my husband went one better recently. It was 3am or 4am or something and the phone went. His drunk brother needed a lift home (fair enough, said brother has collected our drunk arses more times than I’d like to say!) so off he went. Wasn’t home two hours later, bit weird. It was about half an hour each way but still. Turns out he’d picked up brother, plus three friends (two women and a man) then dropped them all off to their various homes then gone back again as one of the women had a call of their friend, in a bit of a state, saying she was stranded and didn’t know how to get home. So my husband went and got her and dropped her home too 😂 said he’d like to think someone would do the same for me if I was ever stuck. He’s just a big softie, and it sounds like your fella might be similar!
He didn’t bring McDonald’s tho, so loses points there 😭

Mellowyellow222 · 06/02/2022 08:29

Oh dear OP you need to snap out of this quickly.

I work in a male dominated environment. I went to a wedding and one of my team members wife was really rude to me. Cornered me in the loos and Told me to stop talking to her husband and get my own man!

I was so embarrassed for her. I have absolutely no interest in her husband. He is a nice man who works for me and does a good job - sometimes!

If he knew he would be mortified. I hate that some people’s world re still this smll
And they preheat their insecurities on others

Mellowyellow222 · 06/02/2022 08:30

Project not preheat!

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 06/02/2022 08:31

I would be furious if I found out dp had not offered to give a woman on her own a lift at that time.

Toanewstart23 · 06/02/2022 08:31

@MrsTimRiggins

He sounds like a nice guy. I hope you enjoyed your late night McDonald’s, you heathen Wink Fwiw my husband went one better recently. It was 3am or 4am or something and the phone went. His drunk brother needed a lift home (fair enough, said brother has collected our drunk arses more times than I’d like to say!) so off he went. Wasn’t home two hours later, bit weird. It was about half an hour each way but still. Turns out he’d picked up brother, plus three friends (two women and a man) then dropped them all off to their various homes then gone back again as one of the women had a call of their friend, in a bit of a state, saying she was stranded and didn’t know how to get home. So my husband went and got her and dropped her home too 😂 said he’d like to think someone would do the same for me if I was ever stuck. He’s just a big softie, and it sounds like your fella might be similar! He didn’t bring McDonald’s tho, so loses points there 😭
It would have taken him twenty seconds to update you Thoughtless
TheVolturi · 06/02/2022 08:33

Yep I agree that he did nothing wrong but I'm a bit 🙄🙄🙄 at everyone making it it's the mans responsibility to get the woman home?? Why? There are taxis!
It's a bit like awwww poor defenceless woman needs big brave safe lovely man to take her home, errrr, OK. Most of us can sort our own transport out.

girafferafferaffe · 06/02/2022 08:34

I'd rather she got home safe tbh.

BABAHOTEL · 06/02/2022 08:34

@TheVolturi

Yep I agree that he did nothing wrong but I'm a bit 🙄🙄🙄 at everyone making it it's the mans responsibility to get the woman home?? Why? There are taxis! It's a bit like awwww poor defenceless woman needs big brave safe lovely man to take her home, errrr, OK. Most of us can sort our own transport out.
I do agree with this.
burnthur5t · 06/02/2022 08:35

Have you always been this insecure?

boredwithfoodprob · 06/02/2022 08:35

I’d be very happy if my DH offered to give any woman a lift home at night. It’s kind and considerate.

strawberrrycheeesecake · 06/02/2022 08:37

I would encourage my husband to make sure a colleague got home safely if for whatever reason public transport or a taxi wasn't possible. I would hope someone would help me out if I needed a lift at that time of night.

Iamnotamermaid · 06/02/2022 08:37

Unless there is a back story here I think your husband was just trying to be a decent human being. Its past midnight and a colleague needs to get home, should not matter if they are male or female, safety is the priority.

Hollywolly1 · 06/02/2022 08:37

Maybe he talks about the co-worker a good bit at home and the op's spidey senses were alerted.She possibly could have shared a taxi or lift with someone else or if she was on her own would she not have pre arranged her way home unless she had already arranged to get a lift with the op's husband but he forgotHmmto mention it.A few different scenarios here could change this seemingly innocent act of kindness completely. There are women out there that purposely target other women's husband's so let's wait for more background from the op first