To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back

[5YearsLeft]

Bit awkward to start this in the middle of the day, but I wanted to be able to link it on the old thread before it completely fills. Meanwhile, even though right now it’s not post-midnight, if you’re having a day-after hangover from insomnia, feel free to post. Whether it’s from poorly children or babies or pets or OHs, whether it’s grief or fear or anxiety or other losses, whether it’s work stress or home stress or just LIFE stress, we get it. You’re not yelling into the void; you’re sharing with people who have been stuck wide awake, too.

Hello everyone and welcome to get another after midnight thread. Happy Friday. No matter what you’ve been through, you’ve made it to Friday. And no matter what you’re going through, if you’re awake now, this thread is for you.

Please feel free to share, vent, rage, cry, ask for support or just empathy.

Stuck in hospital waiting to be seen because I think my waters are leaking. Been here an hour already. It's going to be a long night

I'm worried sick

@justme2022 Oh no!!! Good luck!

@purpleme12 Are you ok? Just pent up anxiety or did something happen? I know that’s a terrible feeling.

No I'm so upset
Our neighbours have been harassing us since we moved in. In lots of different ways including making my child scared in her own home.
Now they have chosen their words very carefully and stated that they are being 'harassed' by noise from us and cited 'slamming doors'. We don't slam doors all our internal doors are kept open.
I'm so upset that I'm being accused of harassment.
And after everything they've done to us
I'm so worried
I'm thinking the worst
Thinking they'll slam their outbuilding door and say it's us
I can't believe this is allowed. I'm so so upset

I can't believe this is happening

I don't know what to do

I'm so upset

@purpleme12 I’m sure it’s incredibly upsetting to be accused of something you didn’t do, and I don’t know the exact situation (if this is reported to the council and they now have noise monitoring apparatus), but I don’t know how in the world anyone can do that and you not have the right to appeal. You have every right in the world to write a letter right back saying that in fact your neighbors have been harassing you, they’re the ones making the noise, and there won’t be any noise that is provably yours because you’re not the one making noise. I know it’s so hard to think of these things in the moment when you’ve just been ambushed (I’m assuming by a letter or something), but you have rights, and you’ve done nothing wrong! I’m so, so sorry that you and your daughter (and your tabby!) are going through this. What awful, awful neighbors. But don’t give up, and don’t feel like they’ve won yet. (But of course you’re allowed to be upset; anyone would be. It’s upsetting!)

I reported everything they did to police.
And made two statements.
But we only managed to get evidence for one incident. Consequently that was the only thing he admitted to. He denied everything else

So they have chosen to say they're being 'harassed' by me now and so noise recording equipment will go in. They have chosen that word so that the police would deal with it as harassment rather than just environmental health (and also to make a counter claim to us)
People on this Street know what he can be like and some police officers know what he can be like too

I am so scared. Surely he could slam his outbuilding door and say it's me.

It makes me sick that the police might have offered to refer them to Victim Support because they've reported a crime
Because they're pretending to be the victim in this

@purpleme12 I didn't want to read and run. Its easy to be calm when you're hearing about harassment from the outside, but if there is a suggestion from them about noise recording equipment going in, I would call their bluff and say fine, lets prove what's going on. I assume the direction the sounds are coming from would be audible. You have every right to be upset what's happening is horrible.,

I’m so sorry and I understand how terrifying that must be. I would call the police and talk to them explain the situation (you have one incident on file), explain how this is being used against you, have them explain how you can be assured that they won’t be able to just make noises and blame them on you. I’m sure they MUST have a way, when people do this maliciously. And you can still point out that you made a claim first, which he admitted to, and that this is malicious and retaliatory. I don’t know if you have the funds to have a lawyer write a letter, or if not, you can write one yourself to the police and cc the neighbor covering the points:

• you made a harassment claim first
• he admitted to it
• this is retaliatory
• you have never had any complaints about slamming your doors (do you have a neighbor in your other side who could support this?) and this is completely untrue
• you believe he will slam his own doors or the outside doors, for this noise to be picked up on sound equipment, and then say it was you, and you want to know how you’ll be protected from that

I know it seems so overwhelming and scary, especially when it’s your neighbors doing this crap to you, but you have every right to be safe and feel safe in your own home.

@Confusedmeanderings
Thank you

I know this is what they want but I don't know how I'm going to get through this

@5YearsLeft yes I'm so scared and overwhelmed
I can't stop thinking about it
I can't stop worrying
I feel so alone

@purpleme12 (and just to be clear, if it were happening to me, I would also be worried sick, completely freaked out, and crying. So I’m trying to make recommendations, but I COMPLETELY understand the upset feeling. It’s horrible being accused like that, when you just wish they could leave you alone and act like a decent person!)

Its easy for me to say, but you will. @5YearsLeft has some good advice I think.

It's just me and my child so there's no one to go through it with
I just don't know what to do

I have said to police about him slamming his door they said the sound equipment is good and should be able to tell. But I'm not sure..
And I forgot to suggest about his outbuilding door to them...

It was the worst decision of my life moving here
No one warned me 😢

@purpleme12 I know it’s so difficult. You’re exhausted. You’re alone facing this (besides DD). It’s a shock. And we all kind of want to believe that other people will be as decent as we are, and unfortunately, some are complete arseholes. I think @Confusedmeanderings might be right about the directional microphone and the police said it should be able to tell. But do contact them and tell them about the outside door your worried about. And unfortunately, for the next few weeks, you may need to keep a diary of any time you come home or leave the house (opening or shutting your front door). I know it’s horrible unfair, but sometimes we have to do unfair things to be life’s arseholes at their games. Again, I’m so sorry this is happening and I don’t blame you for being worried and scared. But all he’s going to do is make himself look more of an arsehole.

I'm awake contemplating my relatively new relationship. I never thought I'd be doing this at my (mature) age.

I will drop off from sheer exhaustion soon..

Good luck to all the other insomniacs

Great thread btw

@purpleme12 I’m so sorry. It’s hard to be able to see into the future and know the right decision; we do the best we can. Maybe a year from now this will have passed. Or you’ll be able to sell. I don’t know. But I have all my fingers crossed that the thoughts will at least leave you alone for a few hours of sleep, and you can face this tomorrow. Everything, EVERYTHING, is so much worse when you’re exhausted.

@lothermand Good luck with your new relationship! You’re never too old for something new, never. There are people dating in their 90s and having the time of their lives doing it. I hope you have a good time! And that you get some sleep soon. As for the thread… it feeds itself. Ha.

Thank you

I feel so sick

@purpleme12 You need a cat and some episodes of Casualty STAT! Joking but not joking - what’s happening is very serious and you have every right to feel sick; it’s just that there’s nothing more you can do at this time of night (which I know is part of what makes it feel worse), so I would really recommend maybe taking an antacid and putting some Casualty on since you were working your way through it, or whatever you fancy watching that might feel distracting or cosy, and try to tempt the cat onto your bed. You need to take care of yourself, first and foremost.