@JustSomething That is an incredibly list and too much for any person to bear without losing sleep… or maybe a bit of their minds, so I’m so, so glad you found us. Your father, your husband, your marriage, your mum, your daughter, and even if your baby is lovely, he needs to let you get some sleep! I mean… that’s almost everybody, and a few primary relationships, in your life that you’re worried about for obvious reasons. I’m so sorry. I’ve said it before on this thread and I’ll say it 1,000 more times - when these things hit, I’m not a fan of the forced “look for the silver lining” approach. OR the “other people have it worse” approach, which I hate with a passion. What I do believe is: you are going through it, which means there you will get through the other side. I won’t pretend that you’ll feel like a million pounds once you reach the other side, but I 100% believe that you WILL reach it. I’m just so, so sorry that walking the road is so tiring and is so sad for you right now. You’re doing absolutely the best you can, and just know that even if it feels like no one in your family notices, well, I, an internet stranger, noticed, and think you’re very brave. I wish you such good luck, and I hope changes come soon.
@Nepenthe I can definitely understand dread at how the kids will take it, but in this day and age, we definitely know that you can’t keep living like that (it sounds like you were living on an emotional roundabout) just for the kids, so it really sounds like the right decision, if your other feelings are relief and excitement. And that’s just now; imagine how you’ll feel when the shock wears off!
@Mydogsanidiot I maybe already said it, but it doesn’t ever hurt to say it again: this kind of loss is just awful. I’m so glad you have Idiotdog and wine and chocolate, but I do understand that it’s not even close to filling the gap, and the gap left over is just how grief feels. And it takes a while, quite a while, especially since it sounds like you had a lovely relationship. This initially sleepless stage is, from what I’ve gone through so nothing scientific, often the very first “hump” of shock and sleep will return, even if the days still hurt. (Though I admit that I had bouts of it for weeks during the first year).
@Chichimcgee How unbelievably difficult! One little one and one on the way in a refuge; no wonder you want to let your DS carry on, and I don’t blame you at all, as I would too. And I’m sure Braxton Hicks are the last thing that will help with sleep at the moment, ha! But know that whatever sent you to a refuge… I think you’re doing great to try to give your current DS and soon to be DS or DD a safe and healthy life, and I hope they have a permanent place for you soon! Also, I’m laughing about the idea of your baby having a huge alien head.
@blahblahx Tell that baby no illegal raves or you’ll call the rozzers! This isn’t 1994 anymore; you can’t just throw a race whenever you feel like it!