To ask if this wedding invitation would annoy you?

[Limita]

The invitation is to a wedding 2.5 hours away from where most guests live, and will require an overnight stay. The save the date went out months ago, and accommodation was booked. The invitations have now gone out to say that only the bride and groom's immediate family will be invited to the ceremony, and the rest of the guests are invited to join them for a party afterwards.

Would this bother you?

YABU - this is rude and guests should have been told earlier
YANBU - getting married is a personal experience and it's the party people care about attending

I agree with @clymene

I would much prefer to attend a reception in a village hall with a buffet and barrels and some wine laid on within the couple's budget than attend a schmancy wedding industry do whereby the couple have the glitzy bells and whistles but can't afford to entertain their guests nicely and equally.

It's all turned into champagne tastes fir beer money. It's sad that the wedding industry has spoilt the meaning of the marriage and the fact it welcomes two families and sets of friends into one community. Too often the reality of people's community is out of touch with their aspirations and it's rather sad.

I completely agree your sentiments @RosesAndHellebores. I think this neatly sums up the issue with a lot of weddings (and sounds like the one in this Op). And probably applies more than ever with the explosion of social media and everyone wanting that perfect Insta wedding…..😏

I wouldn't pay for accommodation just for a party. That said, wedding ceremonies are cringeworthy and boring as hell so I probably wouldn't have accepted (unless it was a very close friend, and then I would have moaned and bitched about it to my OH prior to attending)

Why are wedding ceremonies cringeworthy? It's a wonderful and spiritual service and the music and readings can be profound.

Why are wedding ceremonies cringeworthy?

I don't understand why so many mumsnetters think this either. It does come across as someone who is rather bitter or jealous.

I've never been to a cringeworthy wedding ceremony.

The entrance with papa (Handel, Mendlesham, Verdi).
Lovely hymns
readings
Hymn
Sermon
Hymn
Vows
Solo or a bit of something like Canon
Hymn
Something like Widor

Marvellous!

I have never sat through a sermon during a wedding ceremony. I don't think it is usual (C of E)

Gosh we almost always have. We had the 1622 service. We married within the Canterbury diocese and the priest ran a little sermon about the brooding clouds of evangelism sweeping in with Runcie's departure and hoping this modernity didn't undermine the traditions and sanctity of the Anglican church. DH was thrilled.

Friends did this. They got married in a National Trust venue that had a tiny number allowed (pre Covid) and just had close family there. Under 40 anyway. Then about 150 for the reception. We were all served champagne while waiting for them to finish the civil ceremony.
Odd but missed the boring bits I suppose

I agree with the last few posts.
I can't understand people saying that wedding ceremonies are cringeworthy

I mean, that is what you've been invited to.
If you don't want to see two people you are presumably pretty close to publicly stand and declare their love and commitment to each other, then why go? Why not say "No thanks" when you get the invitation ?

I've been to many, many weddings over many decades. All different sorts, and all have been lovely (the ceremonies). Mostly the whole day has been nice, but I've never been to a "cringeworthy" wedding ceremony.

Clymene
So your wedding was nothing at all like this one where the guests are being asked to travel 2.5 hours for an evening buffet and a pay bar.
And did you make it clear to your guests when you sent out the accommodation info that they weren't invited to the ceremony
People did travel but we clearly said on the invitations that they were invited to a celebration of the marriage and included a scheule of the evening. The chapel couldn't fit in everyone as has only 8 pews so seemed the best compromise. We actually walked into the party which was really nice.

@FawnFrenchieMum

Guests should have been told, but let’s be honest, the ceremony part is boring for anyone but the bride & groom and we all go for the party afterwards

I was thinking this myself....

But then we went all the way to the states just for the reception of a wedding (family only to the ceremony 😂)