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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSD booked afternoon tea but not paid

785 replies

bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:18

So it's my birthday on Saturday. DSD and her DH have booked me and DH in for posh afternoon tea on the Sunday afternoon at top restaurant.

I thanked her tonight for such a thoughtful gift etc and asked her to clarify time and is there a reference number for the gift etc

She gave me a photo of the reservation booking and said it's all booked under my name and have a wonderful time I just have to pay on the day Confused

So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift. I gently asked again, to be clear, I pay on the day and yes, that way I can have whatever I want.

I'm just flabbergasted.

AIBU (clearly fucking not but feel free to comment if you disagree)

Oh, and I'm going to go as I do like the place and you do have to book well in advance but never heard that making a reservation is the gift!!!!

OP posts:
Catflapkitkat · 06/02/2022 17:18

Thank you for your update, so glad you had a lovely time. Them meeting you for cocktails afterwards was a good opportunity to clear the air and put the misunderstanding behind you. Well done.

Belladonna12 · 06/02/2022 18:23

Glad you had a great time. I agree some posters comments about your DSD are bizarre but I think it says more about them than anything else. Some just want the drama whereas others are motivated by pure jealousy.

OpheliaTrousersnake · 06/02/2022 18:33

Splendid outcome, and well written @bluefloweronyellow

I would want to be friends with you if I met you IRL!

rambleonplease · 06/02/2022 18:59

@bluefloweronyellow good to hear it all worked out in the end and that you had a lovely birthday.

Benjispruce5 · 06/02/2022 20:29

You started the thread op!

RussiasGreatestLoveMachine · 06/02/2022 20:57

Literally inviting people to pile on!

OP: Isn’t my DSD a piece of work?!

MN: She sure is!

OP: No she’s not, she’s lovely, nothing to see here!

Grin
chillimilli · 06/02/2022 22:10

Haha I know ! To be fair Op, you did sound very annoyed and open to all kinds of criticism in your opening post ! Grin

Although I'm glad you went and had a great time ! Thanks

Ps who paid for cocktails? GrinWink

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 06/02/2022 22:38

Glad you had a great birthday and a fab time, OP.

However....DSD apologised for the mix up and she meant it. - this has puzzled me, when she literally said "You just need to pay at the end". Did you mean 'you' as in general 'you' (i.e. the customer has to settle up at the end) rather than you personally?

I agree that you were the one who started the thread, with the apparent intent for us to all concur that she was being outrageous, though! It did seem to run a bit like a thread saying 'my DH is sleeping with a married woman' and later discovering that the said women is OP herself Grin

h1nch · 06/02/2022 23:07

Cheeky as f**k - Give her the receipt when you get back and tell her she can give you the reimbursement in cash or bank yransfer

bruffin · 07/02/2022 08:14

@h1nch

Cheeky as f**k - Give her the receipt when you get back and tell her she can give you the reimbursement in cash or bank yransfer
People who cant be bothered to read OPs posts should be banned Grin
IntermittentParps · 07/02/2022 09:46

Glad you had a nice time. But I stand by my opinion that she's being woefully enabled by everyone else in her life, and if she were male/unpretty/older/all of the above, things would be different.

velvet24 · 07/02/2022 09:53

What the fuck? Is she stupid???!!

Roadtripconcept · 07/02/2022 09:55

Happy birthday OP . I'm glad everything worked out in the end . Thanks for keeping me entertained on a cold, windy, Sunday 🎂🍷🎁 .

Bignanny30 · 07/02/2022 10:22

It’s so funny because she doesn’t actually realise her error!

Leighcloon · 07/02/2022 10:36

Uh, who actually paid for it in the end???

LizzieW1969 · 07/02/2022 11:26

DSD’s DH paid in the end, sorting things out for her which it sounds like he does regularly.

OP says that DSD apologised, whether she’s actually learned anything from this is another matter.

But at least OP had a very nice birthday treat.

Leighcloon · 07/02/2022 11:30

People are protective of her as she has an innocence about her but at the same time she always lands on her feet and navigates the world with an airy confidence.

Yeah, I'll bet she lands on her feet. I imagine I'd 'navigate the world with an airy confidence' as well if battalions of people conspired to mean there were no consequences to my 'denseness'...?

sue20 · 07/02/2022 12:37

My daughter a bit younger and wouldn’t do that but I think at that age there is still a big level of unworldliness. I would humorously say thanks for the trouble of booking and you are using that but just for future reference it’s not really a done thing .

GrannytoaUnicorn · 07/02/2022 13:12

@Twinstudy

You do sound lovely op and it's nice that you're taking it so well but I do kind of think maybe someone needs to say something to her?! Not everyone is as kind as you are she might really offend someone one day!
OP sounds lovely? She just called her step daughter dense Hmm
GrannytoaUnicorn · 07/02/2022 13:15

@T00Ts

Maybe try “hey toots, I know you’re pretty and all that but you do know this isn’t actually a present? You may as well have booked me a taxi. Or flagged down a bus and said ‘you’re welcome’.”

What’s her financial situation? Or rather, what’s her husband’s financial situation?

Where does it say she has a husband?
CailleachGranda · 07/02/2022 13:16

GrannytoaUnicorn

It says it in the second sentence of the very first post

Silversprinkles · 07/02/2022 13:31

@RussiasGreatestLoveMachine

Literally inviting people to pile on!

OP: Isn’t my DSD a piece of work?!

MN: She sure is!

OP: No she’s not, she’s lovely, nothing to see here!

Grin

Quite. Hmm
Silversprinkles · 07/02/2022 13:33

@sue20

My daughter a bit younger and wouldn’t do that but I think at that age there is still a big level of unworldliness. I would humorously say thanks for the trouble of booking and you are using that but just for future reference it’s not really a done thing .
@sue20 the DSD is 32?! How old does she have to be to realise presents should be paid for?? Confused
IntermittentParps · 07/02/2022 13:56

I think at that age there is still a big level of unworldliness.
At 32?!?!
You're having a laugh.

Leighcloon · 07/02/2022 13:58

@sue20

My daughter a bit younger and wouldn’t do that but I think at that age there is still a big level of unworldliness. I would humorously say thanks for the trouble of booking and you are using that but just for future reference it’s not really a done thing .
At 32???