Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSD booked afternoon tea but not paid

785 replies

bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:18

So it's my birthday on Saturday. DSD and her DH have booked me and DH in for posh afternoon tea on the Sunday afternoon at top restaurant.

I thanked her tonight for such a thoughtful gift etc and asked her to clarify time and is there a reference number for the gift etc

She gave me a photo of the reservation booking and said it's all booked under my name and have a wonderful time I just have to pay on the day Confused

So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift. I gently asked again, to be clear, I pay on the day and yes, that way I can have whatever I want.

I'm just flabbergasted.

AIBU (clearly fucking not but feel free to comment if you disagree)

Oh, and I'm going to go as I do like the place and you do have to book well in advance but never heard that making a reservation is the gift!!!!

OP posts:
WinterBaby131 · 05/02/2022 18:07

Yep batshit!
🤣🤣 too funny though

Callaird · 05/02/2022 18:07

My niece did the same thing today. She’s staying over night. Home made card with a lovely picture and in side was a message saying that she had booked a cafe for lunch for us to go somewhere nice.
Went out, had a lovely lunch, she went into my bag, opened my phone and paid for lunch.

We talked about it but she cannot get her head around that paying on a phone doesn’t cost any money!!

However she 5 and I knew she didn’t have the money to pay for it!

I hope you enjoyed brunch and you didn’t take your SD!!

SStarlet · 05/02/2022 18:07

OK, at least she thought of you and did take the time to do something - gifts don't have to cost money, but this is not one of those situations!

I do think it would be wise to help her understand though - imagine she'd done this and the person she'd "gifted" it to didn't have the money to spend on a meal out. It could make her look terribly mean when that's perhaps bit the intention, a "look at what you could have won" kind of situation.

Perhaps you should gift her the receipt for your afternoon tea for her birthday?

SusieQuatro · 05/02/2022 18:13

@bluefloweronyellow

She's 32 and dense. Not mean or anything but not a thinker.

She genuinely thinks she's given a gift.

DH rolled his eyes.

Make sure your other half pays for it 😜
AFlorrick · 05/02/2022 18:14

@StaplesCorner

Now you see I don't find any humour in this at all. I think she's spoilt and spiteful, and everyone around her is enabling. How can you possibly have any respect for her?

But I can see others do think its hilarious including you OP. That's why I like MN because I so rarely agree with people on here! Definitely a different angle on life.

This is it. That this young woman thinks this is an acceptable way to treat her mother. That her dad raises his eyes. That her husband treats her like 'china'. That she has never held down a job. She is extremely clever and manipulative and enabled by all those who should be calling her out. I cannot bear people like this. And your post about it and then defense of her. Speaks volumes.
DonaPatrizia · 05/02/2022 18:15

Is it a case that she has paid a standard fee for the afternoon tea but you pay on the day for extras? In other words, if you wanted champagne, say, you pay for it, but she’s covered the tea and cake? Could it be that and she didn’t explain very well? Otherwise she’s definitely not a thinker.

Fluffycloudland77 · 05/02/2022 18:18

I think she sounds great, I wouldnt mind going through life with men paving the way. Sounds briliant to me. I'm too independant, dh calls me "single girl" and we've been together 17 years.

I have a similar inlaw. Just lands on their feet and gets what the rest of us strive for with ease. Like they used to say, if you've got it, you've got it. I havent got "it".

BikeMadMummyOf3 · 05/02/2022 18:24

Sorry but I just came here to LMAO because this has to be a joke,right?

Repecka · 05/02/2022 18:25

Do the same for her…make a reservation and then leave her to pay for it.

Anabella23 · 05/02/2022 18:26

i do hope she is really not that stupid/thick/insensitive or whatever word you want to use, and you will be surprised on the evening by them turning up to pay, or having left their details for them to take payment. If not - Guess who would be getting an empty box for their next present

Yourcatisnotsorry · 05/02/2022 18:27

Might she have put the money in your card or something?

Magnificentbeast · 05/02/2022 18:27

That's bizarre. Never heard of a reservation being the gift.

Pinklemonade1 · 05/02/2022 18:27

Sorry did have to chuckle. Terrible 'gift' obviously... I think I'd have to say in a jokey way that that really isn't a gift.

TooManyAnimals94 · 05/02/2022 18:29

Anyone else thinking of the Christening in Gavin and Stacey?
"Yeah just go to the bar and have whatever you want. Then pay. It's not a free bar"

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/02/2022 18:30

My niece did the same thing today. She’s staying over night. Home made card with a lovely picture and in side was a message saying that she had booked a cafe for lunch for us to go somewhere nice.
Went out, had a lovely lunch, she went into my bag, opened my phone and paid for lunch.

We talked about it but she cannot get her head around that paying on a phone doesn’t cost any money!!

However she 5 and I knew she didn’t have the money to pay for it!

How did a 5yo manage to book a cafe, though?! Even if she were fully capable of phoning up to do it, what cafe is going to take a booking from a 5yo seriously? That does suggest to me that her parent 'helped' her to do that - and the parent would be fully capable of knowing that their DD had given you a 'present' - and also fed their DD - for which you'd have to pay!!

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/02/2022 18:30

@bluefloweronyellow

This could start a whole new trend of gift giving.

Just reserve it and pass it on.

Well that's your Christmas present for her sorted!
Hugoslavia · 05/02/2022 18:31

You could book her the Dentist for her birthday! It's the thought that counts.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/02/2022 18:32

Bold fail there from me!

RobertaFirmino · 05/02/2022 18:33

OP, maybe rethink your character. I really can't see readers warming to this person at all. She could get away with this sort of behaviour if she was a spiteful piece of work who blamed the second wife for splitting her family up. That would be pure nastiness with intent and readers would think 'Ooh, what a bitch!'. People love a good bitch and will want to read more about her antics. As it stands, she's irritating and unrelatable.

Fluffmum · 05/02/2022 18:34

What! That’s hysterical. Don’t go

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/02/2022 18:36

Funny though the suggestions are to book something for her that she has to pay for when she turns up, I don't think that would achieve the desired result at all.

She'll just turn up with her DH, he will pay for it and she'll be delighted, and none the wiser, as she's used to 'somebody else' paying for things, so it will just be par for the course for her.

runningoutofnewnames · 05/02/2022 18:44

[quote toomuchlaundry]@Belladonna12 no-one is that stupid that they think reserving a table (at I assume a pricey restaurant) for an afternoon tea that the recipient has to then pay for is a present[/quote]
Never forget that 50% of people are below average intelligence.

LittleBearPad · 05/02/2022 18:44

Have fun OP - I’m glad it got sorted.

Though Confused at dSD

whenthedoveslie · 05/02/2022 18:46

Give over OP.

She isn't really sweetness and light.

Her blessed life on the count of all the men that carry her, simply doesn't make her anything other than an escort.

Which has probably what she has been doing all her adult life.

Otherwise, she would know what gift giving means.

runningoutofnewnames · 05/02/2022 18:47

She sounds like a character OP. And I believe you she didn't mean it badly.

Ridiculous, the people on here who can only see ill intent. Not everyone has bad motives! The world is a lot more complicated and nuanced than that.