Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSD booked afternoon tea but not paid

785 replies

bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:18

So it's my birthday on Saturday. DSD and her DH have booked me and DH in for posh afternoon tea on the Sunday afternoon at top restaurant.

I thanked her tonight for such a thoughtful gift etc and asked her to clarify time and is there a reference number for the gift etc

She gave me a photo of the reservation booking and said it's all booked under my name and have a wonderful time I just have to pay on the day Confused

So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift. I gently asked again, to be clear, I pay on the day and yes, that way I can have whatever I want.

I'm just flabbergasted.

AIBU (clearly fucking not but feel free to comment if you disagree)

Oh, and I'm going to go as I do like the place and you do have to book well in advance but never heard that making a reservation is the gift!!!!

OP posts:
Twinstudy · 03/02/2022 23:25

That's not a gift!

Do you think she's maybe planning on reimbursing you afterwards, so you can choose what you want on the day? Totally clutching at straws here

Psuedoshoes · 03/02/2022 23:25

How does she get through life being this dense, my 12 yo would know this is in no way a gift Grin

DrWankincense · 03/02/2022 23:26

Wowzers.
Sorry I know it's really not funny but it kind of is.
So for her birthday make sure you book a lovely table for her. Honestly, WTF.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/02/2022 23:26

What did you get last year?

EezyOozy · 03/02/2022 23:26

Maybe she's forgotten to mention that she'll pay you back or give you some cash beforehand or something? I'm clutching at straws.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 03/02/2022 23:26

Lord love her.

Knackeredmommy · 03/02/2022 23:26

I don't have anything to add but I needed that laugh! 🤣

Twinstudy · 03/02/2022 23:27

I'd book her two weeks in the Maldives for her next birthday

Scoot75 · 03/02/2022 23:27

I kind of did this once by accident Blush. I booked Afternoon Tea for Two for my FIL's birthday. I paid, sent the confirmation to PIL and they went along for their Afternoon Tea. We got a furious phonecall from PIL to say that I had only paid for one person! I didn't realise. I thought it was for 2 people.

The following year for FIL's birthday, I tried to do something nicer for them. I booked Lunch with the Llamas on a llama farm. The food looked delicious and I thought it would be a fun afternoon out for them. FIL said it was the worst experience of his life.

God, no wonder they hate me Grin !

grapewine · 03/02/2022 23:27

So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift.

How is a grown adult so fucking dense? That's ridiculous.

SoftSheen · 03/02/2022 23:27

It's the thought that counts Grin

Outlyingtrout · 03/02/2022 23:28

I don’t understand how she can possibly think this is a gift. She must have absolutely zero social awareness.

I suppose if she is dense as you say, that’s not her fault and can’t be helped. But it’s still a bit shocking that an adult could get this so wrong. What do you think she would say/how would she react if you or her dad gently explained to her that she’s not given you a gift but in actual fact has lumbered you with a financial obligation that she doesn’t know whether you can easily meet or not?

Original poster
bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:29

@Twinstudy

That's not a gift!

Do you think she's maybe planning on reimbursing you afterwards, so you can choose what you want on the day? Totally clutching at straws here

Nope. No plan to reimburse. We will go and I'll send her a photo and I'm sure she'll be all 'you're welcome'. Grin

I get on with her. No animosity. She just doesn't get it. It is quite brilliantly hilarious in how daft it is.

OP posts:
Paquerette · 03/02/2022 23:29

🤦‍♀️ Do the same for her birthday, and make sure it’s her only gift. She may figure out that it’s not a gift at all then.

ShirleyPhallus · 03/02/2022 23:30

@Scoot75

I kind of did this once by accident Blush. I booked Afternoon Tea for Two for my FIL's birthday. I paid, sent the confirmation to PIL and they went along for their Afternoon Tea. We got a furious phonecall from PIL to say that I had only paid for one person! I didn't realise. I thought it was for 2 people.

The following year for FIL's birthday, I tried to do something nicer for them. I booked Lunch with the Llamas on a llama farm. The food looked delicious and I thought it would be a fun afternoon out for them. FIL said it was the worst experience of his life.

God, no wonder they hate me Grin !

Sounds like an ungrateful twat to me!
T00Ts · 03/02/2022 23:31

I cannot wait to hear what other shit she’s done if this is so like her. Grin

misspercy · 03/02/2022 23:31

Reserve half the Argos catalogue for her birthday. Tell her she can choose which thing she collects and pay for the one she wants.

Meatshake · 03/02/2022 23:31

Additional needs? Like... That seems like the behaviour of someone with very low executive function.

@scoot75 bit of a clanger but these things happen, a "furious phone call" sounds like complete overkill though! You didn't deserve that! ☹️

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/02/2022 23:32

That’s very funny (and also awful).

I would cancel it, otherwise how are you going to make the point?!

grapewine · 03/02/2022 23:32

She'll do this to someone someday who won't find it hilarious. Social awareness is important.

Enjoy your birthday, though!

ItsDinah · 03/02/2022 23:34

How many is the booking for? Are DSD and her DH attending too ?

Wafflesnsniffles · 03/02/2022 23:36

Op when its her birthday.......... reserve her a book at the library! Or order a book she'd like at a bookshop........ dont pay for it, just tell her its ready for collection.

"Here you are dsd Ive ordered this great book for you. All you have to do is go to the shop to collect it and pay for it."

jusdevache · 03/02/2022 23:36

Best. Thread. Ever! Grinthis has to go in classics Op. your DSD sounds like the Alice Tinker character in the vicar of Dibbly, very sweet and well meaning but not the brightest bulb 💡 in the pack! And I bet she was so chuffed with herself for making you the reservation 😂

Hawkins001 · 03/02/2022 23:37

@bluefloweronyellow

So it's my birthday on Saturday. DSD and her DH have booked me and DH in for posh afternoon tea on the Sunday afternoon at top restaurant.

I thanked her tonight for such a thoughtful gift etc and asked her to clarify time and is there a reference number for the gift etc

She gave me a photo of the reservation booking and said it's all booked under my name and have a wonderful time I just have to pay on the day Confused

So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift. I gently asked again, to be clear, I pay on the day and yes, that way I can have whatever I want.

I'm just flabbergasted.

AIBU (clearly fucking not but feel free to comment if you disagree)

Oh, and I'm going to go as I do like the place and you do have to book well in advance but never heard that making a reservation is the gift!!!!

If it was paid for then I can understand, but that's basically like booking a pricy spa day, then you footing the bill, seems very half pickled, gift
Original poster
bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:37

@T00Ts

I cannot wait to hear what other shit she’s done if this is so like her. Grin
Quite often her presence is the gift. Especially at Christmas. She comes in and announces 'I'm here'.

She once offered to host Christmas for the whole family but everyone sort of waved a collective 'no' as we knew there would be no food, drink etc. She has no clue. In a bubble.

Never held down a job for more than two months. Didn't understand why tax was taken from her. Absolutely lovely but away with the fairies.

OP posts: