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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSD booked afternoon tea but not paid

785 replies

bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:18

So it's my birthday on Saturday. DSD and her DH have booked me and DH in for posh afternoon tea on the Sunday afternoon at top restaurant.

I thanked her tonight for such a thoughtful gift etc and asked her to clarify time and is there a reference number for the gift etc

She gave me a photo of the reservation booking and said it's all booked under my name and have a wonderful time I just have to pay on the day Confused

So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift. I gently asked again, to be clear, I pay on the day and yes, that way I can have whatever I want.

I'm just flabbergasted.

AIBU (clearly fucking not but feel free to comment if you disagree)

Oh, and I'm going to go as I do like the place and you do have to book well in advance but never heard that making a reservation is the gift!!!!

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 03/02/2022 23:38

But why wouldn’t you say ‘how’s that a gift?’

Why do people put up with so much shit?!

Ilovecharliecat · 03/02/2022 23:39

is she 9?

Merryoldgoat · 03/02/2022 23:40

Never held down a job for more than two months. Didn't understand why tax was taken from her. Absolutely lovely but away with the fairies.

She sounds like she’s been woefully unprepared for adulthood.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/02/2022 23:41

@grapewine

She'll do this to someone someday who won't find it hilarious. Social awareness is important.

Enjoy your birthday, though!

Gotta wonder how funny she’d find on the receiving end.

Cheeky fuckers get away with it because normal people are too aghast to say anything.

NeverChange · 03/02/2022 23:41

She can't be that dense surely!

How does she function in day to day life?

Original poster
bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:42

She is like Alice in the Vicar of Dibley in many ways. Not as, em, simple but similar.

She is beautiful. Stunning. And has glided through life with much male support. Men rush to help her and think she is used to being adored.

Honestly, you'd like her. She's very nice. But very poor social awareness.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 03/02/2022 23:42

X post. It’s looking less funny. She’s either got significant learning needs or no one taught her how to be a decent person.

Twinstudy · 03/02/2022 23:44

You do sound lovely op and it's nice that you're taking it so well but I do kind of think maybe someone needs to say something to her?! Not everyone is as kind as you are she might really offend someone one day!

T00Ts · 03/02/2022 23:44

@bluefloweronyellow

She is like Alice in the Vicar of Dibley in many ways. Not as, em, simple but similar.

She is beautiful. Stunning. And has glided through life with much male support. Men rush to help her and think she is used to being adored.

Honestly, you'd like her. She's very nice. But very poor social awareness.

Ah. One of those. Utterly indulged by everyone and genuinely believes she is the centre point of the universe. Everyone did everything for her so it never occurred to her to do anything for anyone else.

What does her own husband say?!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/02/2022 23:45

Why would you or DH not pick her up on this? Just rude and ignorant.

Chloemol · 03/02/2022 23:45

Well now you know what to do for her

Hi. Xx we enjoyed it so much I am sure you will. I have reserved you a table on xx all you need to do is pay when you have finished

Job done

Notcontent · 03/02/2022 23:47

This is kind of funny but also not. I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself from saying something!

L0stinCyberspace · 03/02/2022 23:47

No, honestly I don't want to be mean but surely this is a sign of learning disabilities or very below normal IQ?

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/02/2022 23:47

Send her a link to the her favourite clothes website for her birthday, say book a VIP slot on the Next sale.

Apparently dippy "oh get me!" people suddenly seem to get it when other people gift to them as they have gifted to others....funny that Hmm

T00Ts · 03/02/2022 23:48

Maybe try “hey toots, I know you’re pretty and all that but you do know this isn’t actually a present? You may as well have booked me a taxi. Or flagged down a bus and said ‘you’re welcome’.”

What’s her financial situation? Or rather, what’s her husband’s financial situation?

Viviennemary · 03/02/2022 23:48

Not sure if I like this thread very much.

Ionlydomassiveones · 03/02/2022 23:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 03/02/2022 23:49

@bluefloweronyellow

She is like Alice in the Vicar of Dibley in many ways. Not as, em, simple but similar.

She is beautiful. Stunning. And has glided through life with much male support. Men rush to help her and think she is used to being adored.

Honestly, you'd like her. She's very nice. But very poor social awareness.

It's obviously very effective.

I hope you enjoy your tea, OP and make an especial point of ordering just what you want without any embarrassment at the thought the bill has to paid by someone else. Glitterball

listsandbudgets · 03/02/2022 23:49

But even if she is socially unaware surely her DH saw the flaw in this generous plan!!

tricky29 · 03/02/2022 23:50

That’s not a gift, that’s just admin! Maybe gift her an appointment for nails and not pay for it!!!

Momijin · 03/02/2022 23:51

Woah she's got to have learning difficulties surely?

Original poster
bluefloweronyellow · 03/02/2022 23:51

@L0stinCyberspace

No, honestly I don't want to be mean but surely this is a sign of learning disabilities or very below normal IQ?

She did reasonably well at school and went to university. She can have quite unusual angles on subjects.

OP posts:
TheBestofTimesTheWorstofTimes · 03/02/2022 23:51

Sounds as thick as mince

Littlehouseonthefairy · 03/02/2022 23:52

😆😊 what a great thread! She has given you the gift of an entertaining tale to recount forever more. You must ring her up and tell her how great it was and thank her. 😆

spiralspiralspiral · 03/02/2022 23:53

And has glided through life with much male support. Men rush to help her and think she is used to being adored.

With people falling over themselves to help her, do you think there could be a genuine issue that's been missed?

Has all the help and support cushioned her from the reality of her own problems that get in the way of being independent?