Why did he have that in his bum?

[IfIcouldturnbacktime217]

So tonight DD asked me when she was going to bed about something a boy in nursery had on his bum. She said he pulled his pants down and showed her a worm then starts showing me her mini saying she doesn't have a worm! I've tried to ask how this happened and not got a lot of sense from her (she's 3) I think it may of been in the toilet but she said there was no teacher there. AIBU to be thinking they shouldn't be going the toilet together without a teacher and slightly alarmed by this?

I can't imagine in what scenario whipping his willy out in front of his daughters would be appropriate

What a weird a vulgar way of thinking about things. It’s not about “whipping out” anything. In my house me and DH both got followed to the bathroom and DC would wander in when we’re getting dressed. Also we both bathed with our DC as toddlers.

Quite right, it's a minge for goodness sake!

My girls have never seen their fathers penis!
We are not a prudish family but I can't imagine in what scenario whipping his willy out in front of his daughters would be appropriate?

You are a prudish family.

Hi OP,

Haven’t read most of the other comments. But what I would say is your second post this was about the situation not the words.

To me this situation sounds innocent and it’s great she spoke to u about it, shows a good level of communication between you both which is fantastic. Yes chat with nursery but my children go in to was their hands etc and may not always be directly supervised for a few minutes I guess.

I would say this situation actually is however really linked to the words. It has been shown that children should be taught correct terms such as Willy vagina labia etc so if inappropriate situations happen they are very clear about what is what and will relay to you in no unclear terms what has happened. For safeguarding reasons and to protect her reach her correct words and not to be ashamed/ embarrassed and do not say ‘private parts’ makes them feel they can’t talk about/ discuss

Google underwear rule nspcc

Good luck xx

@Icantremembermyusername

Jeez, glad people came in with references to body parts, I was thinking he was storing a garden worm in his bum cheeks and scared where that might end!

Me too. I was thinking thread worms!

@slashlover best post ever

I remember my young son singing "vagina" over and over while we were in the car with my parents. Trying to shush him while helpless with laughter while my old skool parents sat in stunned silence was excruciating. "Mini" might have been better in those circumstances.

Tbf you can teach real names all you want, until you have a nuisance child like mine who couldn’t say the words properly when learning and instead refers to his as testicle as his ‘too cools’ and penis as ‘pee piss’ those names have now stuck 🤦🏽‍♀️ And it’s many years later

Foofoo is the name of an old lady's Bichon Frise

I’m a pretty old lady - I might start calling my minge my Bichon Frise. It’s got a certain je ne sais quoi.

Jonny has a worm in his bum is going to get a very different response to Jonny showed me his penis

It’s perfectly normal for small children to see their parents get washed and dressed, and they tend to wander in when you’re using the loo too. I find it odd that a child would never have seen their parents bodies. Mummy and Daddy are usually the first examples of male and female for children with two parents.

@Georgeskitchen

Why overload toddlers with scientific words? Winky for boys mini or foofoo for girls is fine Good grief they are only babies, time aplenty for them to learn the proper names!!

Absolutely. Let's teach them see through instead of transparent..popping up out of the soil instead of growing etc...We definitely shouldn't be bothering with scientific vocabulary

It clearly left a mark on her, so to speak, because she mentioned it. I'd def have a word with the nursery.

@Georgeskitchen

Why overload toddlers with scientific words? Winky for boys mini or foofoo for girls is fine Good grief they are only babies, time aplenty for them to learn the proper names!!

They’re not ‘scientific words’ though, they’re the names of body parts. Like knee, elbow and foot.

It’s obvious OP is talking about male and female genitals. Well done to most of you for completely missing the point of the thread by saying you’re confused and also making a point about penises and vaginas. The OP is concerned about the lack of supervision of the children whilst at nursery, not hard to figure out. OP you are not being unreasonable however these things do happen as children are curious. Have a word with the teacher so they are aware.

@RestingMurderousFace

Quite right, it's a minge for goodness sake!

Oh now, I always thought the minge was the hair, so QED

@Wife2b

It’s obvious OP is talking about male and female genitals. Well done to most of you for completely missing the point of the thread by saying you’re confused and also making a point about penises and vaginas. The OP is concerned about the lack of supervision of the children whilst at nursery, not hard to figure out. OP you are not being unreasonable however these things do happen as children are curious. Have a word with the teacher so they are aware.

It want obvious at all and the fact that OP has a concern is the exact reason DD needs the right words.

I’m a pretty old lady - I might start calling my minge my Bichon Frise. It’s got a certain je ne sais quoi
😂

I've heard Mini quite a lot. Don't know if it's a local slang word. I'm in Wales. That's beside the point though. It is incredibly inappropriate for children to be unsupervised in the toilets.

What? As in an actual worm? I’m so confused reading this and I’m an adult.

Don't be daft, of course you aren't. It was perfectly clear to anyone with a bit of intelligence and imagination.

OP speak to nursery about better supervision and have a conversation about genitalia with your daughter. There's plenty of lovely books around to help you if you need it.

It is normal for kids this age to show each other their genitals and to take down their pants in public. Loads of kids do this. And you can be the worker in the toilet supervising 3 or 4 kids and this can happen quickly.
You wouldn't shout at a child for this. Just gently ask them to pull up their pants.

@Whatdidisay said:
"My girls have never seen their fathers penis! We are not a prudish family but I can't imagine in what scenario whipping his willy out in front of his daughters would be appropriate?"

Erm. Maybe your imagination needs more exercise? My kids have seen me naked, including in changing rooms at the pool, when they wander i while I'm getting dressed to tell me which teddy bear's birthday it is or whatever, when they walk into the bathroom to wash their hands while I'm having a shower, and many more entirely appropriate situations that occur within a family.

I'm sure this will not happen when they're older, but with young children these seem totally normal to me.

Are you seriously saying you would shut your baby outside the room while you were changing? If not, when is the cut-off supposed to be, because nobody's told me the rules about when it becomes "inappropriate"!

I've never seen my Dad's knob and I am nearly 50.
Apparently that's weird and prudish. Shall I ask him if I can have a look at it when I see him next?

I'd mention it to nursery but it doesn't sound worrying to me.
It may be they need to have a tory with the kids about private parts being private.
They are only 3

And everyone assumed the kids were unsupervised without knowing if that is the case.
I am so glad I am no longer a nursery worker. Too many parents assume the worst.