Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend staying over

317 replies

tireandsore101 · 03/02/2022 08:46

Hi name changed because I fear I am being unreasonable..
Good friend of mine in the middle of a breakup she lives about 2 hours away from me and asked if she can come stay with her 1 and 3 year olds for a few days while her partner moves out their home.
Obviously I'm trying to be there for her and the kids best I can so said yes.
I'm 8 months pregnant and still working full time also have a 2 year old.
I was hoping she would be considerate of those things.. I've put work off for the next few days to be available to them.
I finished a long physical shift of work last night at 8pm ish picked her up and brought her to my house she entered the house and plopped herself on the sofa and just watched as I struggled to bring the shopping I picked up for her and her 100s of bags/prams/car seats. She then informed me her kids were hungry and I needed to make them something so I made them some popcorn chicken and chips after they all ate she again retreated to the sofa and left me to tidy up wash up all that baring in mind is almost 10 by now
I made a bed for them up in my sons room and moved my son into my bed but she refused to share a room with her kids and insisted she slept downstairs
I asked about them waking in the night and she told me "if they wake up just go in there put them back In bed and sit with them they won't take long to fall back to sleep" by this time my husband came home from work and cut in and told her that's not my job she will need to get up and do it
5am we were woken up to children screaming then 7am to children banging and screaming and then 8am I wake up to find her doing a full makeup and skin routine in the bathroom next to my room with her kids running around upstairs screaming at the top of their lungs.

Quick back ground so I don't drip feed
I work self employed as does my husband running our business
My 2 year old is not at nursery yet and he has always come to work with us
Sometimes he goes to bed at 7pm sometimes at 10pm he is in an awkward nap phase when if he has one he won't sleep till 10/11pm ( some times worse) and if he doesn't have a nap he becomes the devil
Since we all don't have a set routine due to work and things like that whenever we can get the rest/sleep we do
She knows how I've been struggling with sleep insomnia peeing every house and the back pain
So I asked her to be a little considerate of that I showered her around the kitchen for food and anything she might need and told her to help herself if she needs to
I'm just feeling tired and in pain and grumpy this morning
I think she feels she's on holiday and expects me to do everything
I don't know
AIBU for thinking she's being rude or inconsiderate? Or do I need to give her a break as she is going through a hard time?

OP posts:
gingerbiscuits · 05/02/2022 12:01

Wow. She showed her true colours within seconds of getting into your house - total CF! Chuck her out. You don't need the stress. Why does she need 'a few days' for her ex to move out? 1 day, surely?? Not even an overnight! People move entire family homes in a day!!

Juniper68 · 05/02/2022 12:08

tireandsore101 enjoy your massage Smile

suitsyoumadam · 05/02/2022 12:56

OMG what if all this stress sends you into labour early and they are still there?
You need to put yourself and your family first now, and let your husband help you to do that
Good luck

Juniper68 · 05/02/2022 13:11

@suitsyoumadam

OMG what if all this stress sends you into labour early and they are still there? You need to put yourself and your family first now, and let your husband help you to do that Good luck
RTFT
browneyes77 · 05/02/2022 14:11

@tireandsore101 Your DH sounds like a real diamond! That’s a lovely thing for him to do. He could probably see the stress it was putting you under and wanted you and baby to be able to relax. He sounds fab

It just occurred to me as well from your posts that she was also seemingly expecting you to feed her kids? She didn’t think to bring food for her own children and expected you to use yours?

I’m honestly flabbergasted at her cheeky fuckery, I really am. But then decent people will be, because they would never think of imposing on a friend in this way.

I’m glad you were able to say some things to her, it’s never easy when it’s a friend and it’s even harder when you’re non confrontational! So kudos to you for not just caving to all her demands!

I’m glad you’re getting rid of her today. Don’t let her stay again! Flowers

PinkSyCo · 05/02/2022 14:30

Her partner used to do the night shift with the kids before having to get up at 7am for work? Bloody hell, no wonder she’s such a princess and expected you to run after her too! It seems you and she are both blessed when it comes to the men in your life, the difference being you appreciate yours but I doubt very much she does.

SisterConcepta · 05/02/2022 14:50

Glad it’s all sorted and your husband sounds like a proper gem. Please do think about working on your assertiveness especially before your children start school.

tireandsore101 · 05/02/2022 15:17

@PinkSyCo
I know! My husbands great but I could only get him to do nights when I was really ill or something like that! Though I'd never make him do nights when he had work the next day..

She is gone everyone
I've just changed all the sheets and given the house a quick clean, peace has been restored 😂🤦‍♀️ what a nightmare

OP posts:
Nanasueathome · 05/02/2022 15:25

Is your husband having to drive her back?

feelsobadfeltsogood · 05/02/2022 15:36

Load the car up with her kids and stuff and tell her they're all going home

notthemum · 05/02/2022 16:45

Thank Fuck for that.
Not sure they were splitting up anyway, considering her behaviour I think she just thought that her and the kids could come for a holiday.
Well done for getting rid OP.
Hope all goes well with new baby 💐

RachandO · 05/02/2022 19:24

Your DH sounds supportive and brilliant! Don't read about the good ones that much on here 😂
Enjoy your peaceful weekend now 💐

Madge55 · 05/02/2022 19:45

Sorry haven't read all the messages but if they get to splitsville again have a story prepared why this won't be repeated. Why she would have to move out for a few days for him to move out is a bit baffling. She sounds like a bit of a mare.

Nanof8 · 05/02/2022 21:20

You are not being unreasonable. She is totally taking advantage of you. She probably realizes you are not good with confrontation. you called her a good friend, well I think she has shown you that she isn't. Have your hubby tell her that she needs to go if you can't.

IndieR22 · 06/02/2022 05:51

What is wrong with some people? They fully went in on you for a while there. Glad she's gone and peace is restored. Hope you are relaxed now (and asleep, as it is only 10 to 6)

Stirling2701 · 06/02/2022 07:42

She is being completely unreasonable. Tell her that you are unable to cope with her being there any longer.

mrsrat · 04/03/2022 22:49

Tell her to piss off

New posts on this thread. Refresh page