To hate a certain type of middle-class insult?

[AllThePogs]

I am working class and grew up in a very rough area. If I am going to insult you, I will insult you. It is straightforward and you know where you stand.
But there is a certain kind of middle-class person who insults people using veiled language. I see it on MN all the time.
I can't stand it. It is a way to pretend to be polite and reasonable, while often throwing insults with a pretty vicious undertone.
And these people get away with it again and again.

Yes, it's called being passive-aggressive!

Yes like that so-called MN stock phrase - Did you mean to be so rude?

If I was asked that I would just say yes.

I am fascinated by the way mumsnet seems to think these things are class related. I know what you mean, but it’s never occurred to me that it’s a middle, or any other, class thing to do.

Yes I so agree with you. I call a spade a spade. I hate the rude comments sent back to some posters as disguised as "advice"
It's not helpful just nasty.

You sound delightful

I must be thick.

What kind of 'veiled language'?

Surely if you're that up front and direct you could actually explain what you mean?

Odd thread. Rudeness, whether overt or veiled, isn't great. Priding yourself on giving insults so that people know where they stand is an odd thing to do, imo. Why not be assertive if needed, or avoid people you don't like/give the benefit of the doubt where appropriate.

I agree it's not a class thing though. My most p.a. friend is distinctly working class!

It's insecurity I think - trying to make others feel small to give themselves a boost maybe?

@Flossieskeeper yes it is so belittling. I just find it so nasty and mean.

@RosieGuacamosie Perfect example there of insulting me in an "acceptable" manner. You know you would get deleted if you used less passive aggressive language to say that.

I call it jellyfishing after Bridget Jones' diary.
If I catch someone doing it I just say.
'Awww, I don't care what other people say, I think you're nice!'

Even worse is ‘corporate rude’ which is people telling others they are shit at their job using nonsensical phrases.

Why do you feel the need to insult people OP? There's never any need for that, whatever 'class' you may be.

Because calling people a poopoo head, albeit in adult language, is what kids do. Adults are supposed to be a bit more nuanced

And cos on MN telling people to fuck off gets you deleted

I suppose on MN you might well be deleted for insulting someone vigorously, so people try and get around it by being a bit pass agg and politely vinegary. Trying to channel their inner Dorothy Parker. Although no one can do a put-down quite like Dot!

Not convinced it's class related though.

@Nanny0gg Of course you are not thick. It is the subtle put-downs that have a really nasty undertone. Lots of MN posters use this kind of language to say someone is thick, rude, etc.

@madIam I didn't say I am proud of insulting people. I try and be nice and polite to people. But if someone is really horrible to me e.g. rude, I will say they are being rude and it is not okay. I wont do these passive aggressive digs.

It’s snobbery.

[quote AllThePogs]@Flossieskeeper yes it is so belittling. I just find it so nasty and mean.

@RosieGuacamosie Perfect example there of insulting me in an "acceptable" manner. You know you would get deleted if you used less passive aggressive language to say that.[/quote]
Perhaps I’m just not so vulgar as to go round calling people nasty names. That wasn’t passive aggressive either, it was sarcasm.

I find it really bizarre when people wear the whole “I tell it like it is” as a badge of honour. In my experience these people are often just mannerless idiots.

I know what you mean...it's the sneering, dismissive tone rather than the actual words. Winds me up to...I'd rather some just told me to fuck off

@Legomania

Because calling people a poopoo head, albeit in adult language, is what kids do. Adults are supposed to be a bit more nuanced

And cos on MN telling people to fuck off gets you deleted

Do you think they are the only options? You don't think if someone is rude you can just say you were rude and that is not okay? Why the need for a passive-aggressive phrase like - did you mean to be so rude?

@RosieGuacamosie

You sound delightful

There you go. Didn't take long did it? Why exactly did you write that? I'm assuming you don't know the OP personally so how do you know she/he isn't delightful. Comments like this bring nothing to the discussion they are just immature and quite frankly pathetic.

@Comedycook I agree with you.
Maybe it does as someone else suggested come from insecurity? I don't know. Or maybe as someone else suggested it is sheer snobbery.

Ok but I was responding to your op of dressing up insults, or not.
In RL if someone is being rude I generally assume they mean to be. Luckily I don't run into overtly hostile behaviour very often but I don't think getting into a slanging match with someone would help.

[quote AllThePogs]@Comedycook I agree with you.
Maybe it does as someone else suggested come from insecurity? I don't know. Or maybe as someone else suggested it is sheer snobbery.[/quote]
Oh I think it's snobbery...I had this in the park the other day. A woman's dog ran up to my legs and I practically tripped over the lead, she was very slow to remove dog. She gave me an incredibly snooty, reluctant "sorry"...I responded with "yes, you should be sorry"...and she did a very snooty, sneering giggle...so condescending

I don't get into slanging matches either.
The choice is not between mean passive-aggressive comments and an Eastenders style slanging match.