To hate a certain type of middle-class insult?

[AllThePogs]

I am working class and grew up in a very rough area. If I am going to insult you, I will insult you. It is straightforward and you know where you stand.
But there is a certain kind of middle-class person who insults people using veiled language. I see it on MN all the time.
I can't stand it. It is a way to pretend to be polite and reasonable, while often throwing insults with a pretty vicious undertone.
And these people get away with it again and again.

People who are fans of these oafs

See what I mean? My insult is fine. Yours is rude!

If you were raging then you'd be playing right into the hands of the passive aggressive person. They will get off on your anger and be full of joy that they've got to you.

It's not a class thing. It's a manipulative thing.

I find passive aggressive, sneering, dismissive rudeness worse as it's the insinuation that the other person isn't worthy of anything more rather than politeness

@ArabellaScott

Insulting someone is generally unhelpful, whether you do it directly or in a veiled manner.

Well yes. You insult someone to release anger, or express disgust or to "punish" the other person by making them look foolish or make them really, really angry. "Helpful" really doesnt come into it.

It's a British thing maybe rather than a class thing.

I agree but would say potentially English rather than British on the basis I think Scottish people have a reputation for being more direct. In the book Watching the English she talks about how integral irony is to how English people talk and ‘well aren’t you delightful’ is a good example of that.

Well I'm quite well spoken in a posho way though look a bit of a scruff, called some arrogant entitled Porsche driver a tosser then upgraded him to 'Porsche Wanker ' when he parked across our work access drive entrance . He was most put out by my language .😁

That's true. I don't insult people I am talking to.

I insult people who persist in talking at me, when I've decided it's a waste of my time and I fancy a short cathartic event 🙃

@3scape

If you were raging then you'd be playing right into the hands of the passive aggressive person. They will get off on your anger and be full of joy that they've got to you. It's not a class thing. It's a manipulative thing.

Yes I know. Which is why I would walk away and not respond. The person who said the mean passive-aggressive insult said generally people don't realise they are being insulted. I would, but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. I would be fucking furious though.

@Porcupineintherough I agree. This is why I do insult men who cat call me. My intention is not to be helpful.

Middle class is used as an insult on here

I don't think it's really any worse than insulting someone to their face - they're both rude & unpleasant. Developing assertiveness and conflict management skills is surely a better way to interact than ANY kind of insult.

The insults I read on here about the North of England are often hilariously passive-aggressive, snobby and ignorant. I agree OP!

Thinking about it, one useful thing about passive aggression is that it can be done quietly so you dont have the imminent threat of escalation into physical violence. Whereas if someone is calling you a cunt or whatever they are often shouting and then there's always the implied next step that they are about to lamp you one. So yeah, personally I prefer the veiled insults, esp in person and esp from men.

@RosieGuacamosie sarcasm IS passive aggressive.

Yes. Pass Agg is sarcasm... for people who can't spell sarcasm!

She said, sardonically!

I have to laugh at people on MN, THE website where people are proud the say they just ‘say it as it is’ and ‘wear re not all lovely-lovely as ‘, then argue that calling a spade a spade is just rude and the Op must be from ‘up north’ etc…

If I didn’t know better, I would have said those posters haven’t been on MN very long but the posters names tells me otherwise 😂😂

To be honest, if it's clear that you're being insulted, does it matter if you're more sarky or polished about it?

I don't understand this post at all, insults are meant to be nasty and irritating, they wouldn't be insults if they were kind. If you are insulting someone, you think of something to say that will annoy them or belittle them, if they are the kind of person who will be driven mad by pretend kindness or fake sympathy, then that is what you use. Class doesn't come into it.

Yet you are the person who referred to older women "bumbling" about the house all day. Did you not like how that thread went?

OP are you arguing that being rude to people is ok as long as you are really overtly rude about it?

Personally I'm not sure the method of delivery makes one type of insult worse than the other.

[quote AllThePogs]@Porcupineintherough I agree. This is why I do insult men who cat call me. My intention is not to be helpful.[/quote]
Clearly. But it only winds everyone up further. It isn't a desirable thing to do. There's nothing honourable about insulting someone, whether you are blunt or sarcastic or whatever.

I think people do this on MN because they think it makes them sound intelligent. There's a fair amount of intellectual snobbery on here, and people think using these sort of insults makes them part of the clever girl gang. In reality you see the same phrases parroted thread after thread, and to me the lack of originality gives quite the opposite impression. Is it a class thing? I suppose middle class people may be more likely to do it to each other, as tbh you'd need to be pretty brave to use some of the suggested 'witty comebacks' in my (WC) area, and you probably wouldn't try it twice.

@Comedycook

I find passive aggressive, sneering, dismissive rudeness worse as it's the insinuation that the other person isn't worthy of anything more rather than politeness

How is that any different from insinuating they're not worth anything more than being called a cunt and told to fuck off?

@declutteringmymind

It's a British thing maybe rather than a class thing.

I think some people use it as a polite way to tell you something and some use it as a veiled way of putting you down. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

It can be really bitchy though I know what you mean. My MIL does this. 'I hate black cars' when I've just bought one followed by 'I was just speaking generally you know, no need to be offended'. My response would be 'well I didn't buy it to please you, off you pop love'

It is quite a British thing (though of course not exclusively so). An American friend said that the British are the only people he knows who use politeness as a weapon.

Passive aggression is the ultimate twattery to me. As another poster said, I'd rather they just tell me to fuck off.