that school should offer lunch time detentions?

[ljs22]

Regular poster, NC for this post,

Firstly, I completely agree with the concept of detentions. If my dd (15) has done something wrong, she needs to be punished. That's fine. Thankfully she doesn't get them often - just the occasional one, usually for not doing homework on time.

But (here's the AIBU). After school detentions mean that she misses the school coach, which I pay £60 a month for to bring her home. I work 4 days a week and my partner works long and unpredictable shifts, so we are invariably not available to collect her when she has an after school detention. We have no family locally who can help out.

We also live a 40 min drive away from the school and public transport is a pain as we are in the back end of nowhere and she'd need to get 2 (sometimes 3) buses, one of which runs only every hour, so if she misses that she has a really long wait. Hence why I pay for the coach in the first place as it brings her right to the street we live on.

I've been informed today by email that she's been given an hour detention tomorrow for not doing homework. I've contacted the school to request a lunch time one instead in the circumstances.

But .. AIBU to request this? I'm not sure if I am or not, but I honestly don't know what to do. I can't take time off work to collect her from school, neither can my partner, and I don't want her stranded for ages waiting for buses either when I pay a company to bring her home for precisely that reason.

@MrHavelIsHot

No, homework is a complete waste of time. I promise you, you won’t find a teacher who disagrees.

I have 5 teachers amongst my family and friends. I also see the homework set for my children, one in secondary, one at college doing A levels. It’s always relevant and reinforces knowledge. At 15, lots of past exam questions which they then get the opportunity to go through with the teacher with a mark scheme. They go to good schools and the teachers are excellent. If your schools homework is shit, then complain.

No, all homework is shit. It doesn’t reinforce learning, all it does is make their days longer. Have a chat with your 5 teachers, they’ll say the same as me.

@Kteeb1

You need to manage the behaviour. What other consequences does she have? If she has a detention does something else happen or is it just that. She should lose her phone for the evening. If she has more than one detention in a week she loses it for a weekend. Phone usage is the only thing that works with my teen.

Jesus, why? Why on earth would you want her in a cycle of punishments, as if the first one wasn’t enough?

@RumpoleoftheBaileys

Have you tried tar and feathers OP?

I haven't. But I am seriously considering that. In fact I think I'll start thread number 2 shortly to gauge views on that:

"AIBU to tar and feather my Dd for partial homework completion?"

I do hope you'll all join me on that thread. I mean, It's been a pleasure on this one.

No, all homework is shit. It doesn’t reinforce learning, all it does is make their days longer. Have a chat with your 5 teachers, they’ll say the same as me.

No, they don’t agree with you. Maths, Science and History teachers.

@MrHavelIsHot

As for the after school detention and your daughter travelling alone at night, I think you were right to be concerned and get it changed to a different day to ensure her safety. So we agree on something. 😂

Wonderful!

So the attitude that teacher is enforcing on your daughter is why bother. Because even if you do 90% of the work. If you get stuck in even one question and don't answer you will be punishment.
So what the point in her doing it at all.
Its such a demotivating way this teacher is teaching.

😂

It is genuinely concerning though, some of the views on this thread.

Wonderful!

I’ll leave on a good note. Now go and check your daughter has done her homework. 😝

@RumpoleoftheBaileys

😂

It is genuinely concerning though, some of the views on this thread.

I am comforting myself with the hope that most of them are having a laugh. I can't allow myself to believe that some of these views genuinely exist. I'd be giving up on humankind.

@Kteeb1

You need to manage the behaviour. What other consequences does she have? If she has a detention does something else happen or is it just that. She should lose her phone for the evening. If she has more than one detention in a week she loses it for a weekend. Phone usage is the only thing that works with my teen.

I taken it you don't have teens, plus in what other world does someone get positive in one setting and then punished again in an unrelated one.

Missing the coach is a natural consequence for her actions. And you would hope that missing the coach a couple if times might encourage her to do the homework.

I have teens too. I know what it is like to try and get them to do it.

At my teens sch they do give out lunchtime detentions as well as after school ones.

True. Some people are deliberately contrary.

@MrHavelIsHot

Wonderful!

I’ll leave on a good note. Now go and check your daughter has done her homework. 😝

I see what you did there ...

And still are commenting at nearly 1k posts without having read past the first!!

@AdviceOnLife

So the attitude that teacher is enforcing on your daughter is why bother. Because even if you do 90% of the work. If you get stuck in even one question and don't answer you will be punishment. So what the point in her doing it at all. Its such a demotivating way this teacher is teaching.

Yes. I plan to give her this feedback. Hopefully she will take it on board.

Please start a tar and feather thread. Whilst some of this has been funny, the fact people are willing to risk the safety of a child in order to teach them a lesson is scary.

@PelvicFloorTrauma

Bellatricks - Why do we accept teachers encroaching on home time?

WHAT AN INCREDIBLY DIM QUESTION. Do you think I can shake my magic wand to make the day longer for your convenience?

The entitlement of some parents is jaw dropping.

What are you talking about? If kids need to do 12 hours of schoolwork per day, the school hours should be 8am-8pm. If they don't need to do so much schoolwork, there should be no homework.

I can accept some homework to be done over the weekend, but overall it should be massively reduced. Once a child comes home they should be able to relax and forget about school work.

@MrHavelIsHot OP there is a difference between attempting and just not bothering, OP daughter attempted!!

If detention is going to be thrown about for making an effort and not asking a teacher for 1 question out of 10, I dread the day my youngest starts high school, he has selective mutism so there is absolutely no way that my child would do that, unless of course he overcomes it!

@MrHavelIsHot

No, all homework is shit. It doesn’t reinforce learning, all it does is make their days longer. Have a chat with your 5 teachers, they’ll say the same as me.

No, they don’t agree with you. Maths, Science and History teachers.

They definitely will. It makes no difference what subject they teach, they’ll say the same thing.

@GalaxyOnOrionsBelt

Please start a tar and feather thread. Whilst some of this has been funny, the fact people are willing to risk the safety of a child in order to teach them a lesson is scary.

I honestly think I will!

Thanks all. It's been an .... education.

Mostly helpful, in parts shocking and infuriating, and definitely amusing... all in one.

See you at the 🪶🕳

@RumpoleoftheBaileys

See you at the 🪶🕳

😂😂

They definitely will. It makes no difference what subject they teach, they’ll say the same thing.

I know their views on the homework they set. They don’t agree with you. 🤷🏻‍♀️