Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that school should offer lunch time detentions?

1000 replies

ljs22 · 02/02/2022 14:40

Regular poster, NC for this post,

Firstly, I completely agree with the concept of detentions. If my dd (15) has done something wrong, she needs to be punished. That's fine. Thankfully she doesn't get them often - just the occasional one, usually for not doing homework on time.

But (here's the AIBU). After school detentions mean that she misses the school coach, which I pay £60 a month for to bring her home. I work 4 days a week and my partner works long and unpredictable shifts, so we are invariably not available to collect her when she has an after school detention. We have no family locally who can help out.

We also live a 40 min drive away from the school and public transport is a pain as we are in the back end of nowhere and she'd need to get 2 (sometimes 3) buses, one of which runs only every hour, so if she misses that she has a really long wait. Hence why I pay for the coach in the first place as it brings her right to the street we live on.

I've been informed today by email that she's been given an hour detention tomorrow for not doing homework. I've contacted the school to request a lunch time one instead in the circumstances.

But .. AIBU to request this? I'm not sure if I am or not, but I honestly don't know what to do. I can't take time off work to collect her from school, neither can my partner, and I don't want her stranded for ages waiting for buses either when I pay a company to bring her home for precisely that reason.

OP posts:
Wendybyrdesmissingconscience · 03/02/2022 18:47

It’s meant to be an inconvenience. You clearly need to speak to your daughter. The responsibility is with her.

101waystoworry · 03/02/2022 18:47

Children shouldn't get a detention for not doing their homework, if they haven't done it then there is a reason. I understand that sometimes children are a pain and don't do their homework but school should be helping (as should parents) to get it done. I had undiagnosed Autism and ADHD, homework was a nightmare for me, as it is for my son who also autistic and ADHD, not everything needs punishing.

Pumperthepumper · 03/02/2022 18:48

@Awalkintime

Pumperthepumper Nice try! Maybe you just brown nose your parents to keep them sweet and bend over to every whim. I don't.
No, I don’t punish their children.
RumpoleoftheBaileys · 03/02/2022 18:48

Also, how have people not read the OP's posts and decided to jump in after 900 messages with irrelevant nonsense...

Original poster
ljs22 · 03/02/2022 18:52

@RumpoleoftheBaileys

Also, how have people not read the OP's posts and decided to jump in after 900 messages with irrelevant nonsense...
😂 I know. This thread has long since served its purpose in terms of actually being useful (thank you to those posters again), and is currently just an amusing distraction.
OP posts:
Awalkintime · 03/02/2022 18:53

Pumperthepumper
Neither do I but if a parent is being a dick I won't be a yes person to the parents who make demands all the time. The rules are there for everyone and they are applied fairly but in this day excuses are like arseholes.

TorringtonDean · 03/02/2022 18:53

@Dnaltocs

Yeah, blame the mother for working in MEDICINE and doing good things all day as well as putting bread on the table. She is actually a shining role model.

Whereas you seem to enjoy inflicting misery on children. Take all fun away because someone didn’t understand a poorly taught lesson? No wonder there is a mental health epidemic.

RumpoleoftheBaileys · 03/02/2022 18:55

I'm genuinely amazed at the lack of comprehension that some have displayed.

Further, there have only been a handful who have applied any common sense.

Best of luck with the school; I'm all for consequences when deserved, but this isn't one of those times.

Pumperthepumper · 03/02/2022 18:55

@Awalkintime

Pumperthepumper Neither do I but if a parent is being a dick I won't be a yes person to the parents who make demands all the time. The rules are there for everyone and they are applied fairly but in this day excuses are like arseholes.
Demands such as…..?
Flatwhitetostayin · 03/02/2022 18:58

I despair of MN sometimes. Tbh I got bored of reading your updates, where you were defending your perfectly rational POV with some posters who I hope aren't actually parents.

Your daughter missing a couple of homeworks here and there really isn't the crime of the century and definitely doesn't warrent an hour's detention and a long and potentially unsafe journey home. They could quite easily just give her double as a consequence if it's really that important to punish her.

I hate that we hold children to such high standards. I mean, rarely do adults bring home as much work as their children, and if we miss a non essential deadline we don't get kept in at work unpaid.

It's the kind of pettiness that puts kids off school tbh.

TorringtonDean · 03/02/2022 18:59

#shewasonlytryingtogethomeafterdetention

bofski14 · 03/02/2022 19:00

Quite surprised at the comments here. Detention is laughable. Schools cannot insist you stay after hours, especially when you have pre booked transport. Saying children should be waiting around on bus stops on dark winter evenings to "teach them a lesson" is actually really pathetic and dangerous. Schools legally cannot keep children after hours (or force them to do homework but they don't like you to know that). Think a bit deeply about what the purpose of homework is. It is to condition children into believing that their time is not their own, paving the way for being compliant to do unpaid overtime as adults. If the lessons can't be given in the six hours or so they are at school, then they are not fit for purpose.

ElevenSmiles · 03/02/2022 19:21

Final score SCHOOL1-OP ZERO

Pumperthepumper · 03/02/2022 19:24

@ElevenSmiles

Final score SCHOOL1-OP ZERO
Wtf 😂😂😂
RumpoleoftheBaileys · 03/02/2022 19:26

@ElevenSmiles

Final score SCHOOL1-OP ZERO
Further proof that people either can't or won't read.
Original poster
ljs22 · 03/02/2022 19:26

@TorringtonDean

#shewasonlytryingtogethomeafterdetention
This is the worrying reality that seems to be passing so many by.
OP posts:
Original poster
ljs22 · 03/02/2022 19:27

@ElevenSmiles

Final score SCHOOL1-OP ZERO
What? Are you ok? Genuinely? Confused
OP posts:
Original poster
ljs22 · 03/02/2022 19:28

*I despair of MN sometimes. Tbh I got bored of reading your updates, where you were defending your perfectly rational POV with some posters who I hope aren't actually parents.

I understand, because fuck me, I got bored of writing them.

😂

OP posts:
ElevenSmiles · 03/02/2022 19:28

You don't like humour Pump.....sad

GalaxyOnOrionsBelt · 03/02/2022 19:30

Ihate that we hold children to such high standards.

I agree with this. At work we get escorted to our car park, it's dark and quiet and a risk assessment highlighted the issue. The idea a child should be taught a lesson by getting home in an unsafe way is frankly bizarre .

ElevenSmiles · 03/02/2022 19:31

OH.....Neither does NHS.....

Original poster
ljs22 · 03/02/2022 19:31

Also you got the score the wrong way around. Pretty sure I won this one 😂

OP posts:
GalaxyOnOrionsBelt · 03/02/2022 19:31

@ElevenSmiles

You don't like humour Pump.....sad
There have been so many batshit replies that I understand why OP didn't see the humour.
Original poster
ljs22 · 03/02/2022 19:32

There have been so many batshit replies that I understand why OP didn't see the humour.

Yep!! I genuinely don't know anymore who is OK and who isn't. 😂

OP posts:
ElevenSmiles · 03/02/2022 19:34

You keep thinking that......NHS

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.